“There are many ways to skin a cat” is a common aphorism where I come from.
What it basically means is that there are usually a number of different approaches you could take to achieve the same result. In our case, the result we want is to get laid. What we do after that is personal choice, and so is what we do to achieve that result.
I first became aware of the fact that there were guys out there (mostly in the US) who were trying to work out how to systematise getting laid in 2005. Most of them were just floundering in the dark and not many people had a solid game plan regarding how to get from meeting a girl to laying her. There were a few established figures around at the time though, so I started to try exploring their material.
The first one I came across was David DeAngelo and his Double Your Dating product. I downloaded this and it seemed like his main emphasis was on being “cocky-funny”. At the time, I had no idea what the hell this meant. I never saw him demonstrate what he wrote in any of his videos, so I began to think that he was really just an expert businessman and marketing genius rather than a bona-fide womaniser.
I did learn some useful stuff from him though, as he did a series of interviews with various authorities in the seduction field, from which I learned some real actionable material. One example was a guy who said that he started on his path to defeating his lack of communication skills by going up to people and asking them how they were doing. I tried this and it definitely brought me out of my shell. Also, a lot of DeAngelo’s products emphasised inner game. He gave a lot of tips on self development and working on your mind, which would prove to be a good grounding for my own game in the future.
After a while, I wanted to see if there were any more guys out there teaching seduction, so I looked around and found a site called the Fast Seduction forum. This seemed to be where most of the active players were hanging out and exchanging tips and ideas. It was hosted by a guy called Ross Jeffries, who had a product called Speed Seduction.
I read about his material and it seemed to revolve around NLP and Hypnotism. I saw some of the stuff that his devotees were writing about and there were two main points that troubled me. Firstly, it seemed really manipulative and weird. And secondly, it appeared that you had to memorise a lot of lines and phrases verbatim, which you would then recite at various points during an interaction with a woman.
When I saw this, I was turned off by it immediately. I don’t mind knuckling down and learning stuff over a long period of time if I know it will be of benefit to me, but I really felt uncomfortable with the manipulative nature of the material. Not only that, but it seemed to leave no room for spontaneity or give me a chance to show my personality.
So, I decided to look at other respected guys that the forum posters would often talk about. The biggest poster on there was a guy called Tyler Durden, who seemed to have an enormous amount of knowledge. The guy who seemed to have the most advocates was a guy called Mystery, but he didn’t post on there at all.
I read a lot of Tyler’s posts and they were very well written, but it seemed to me that he spent 24 hours a day on that forum writing posts and replying to other people’s posts, so I got a bad feeling about him. I figured that a guy who spent that much time posting couldn’t possibly be out meeting chicks at the same time, so I rejected him as a theoriser (also known as a keyboard jockey or KJ).
He later started his own seduction company called Real Social Dynamics and my decision was vindicated. I watched his videos and the guy repelled me.
So, I looked around to see if I could find out more about this guy called Mystery. I managed to get some information and it appeared that he had a complete model. This excited me because everybody else seemed really vague. Mystery had a plan. It was:
I still didn’t know what this meant though, so I kept reading. There was a guy called Style on the forum who seemed to know a lot about it. Apparently, to attract the girl, you had to pretend not to like her and open her by talking to her over your shoulder. You’d say nasty things to her to make her feel small and say other things to big yourself up. Not only that, but you had to dress really flamboyantly.
I thought it was a bit weird, but I got some black nail varnish, painted the nails on one hand black and went to a club wearing a see-through shirt. I found it really hard to even make the girls hear me when I was talking to them and I felt really uncomfortable in there. It was playing shit dance music, which I hate. There was beer all over the floor, which made my shoes really dirty and sticky. And lots of drunk people kept bumping into me and barging past me. I had to pay a fortune to get into the club and then another small fortune for a taxi back home afterwards, after waiting in a queue for half an hour. I couldn’t stand it.
So, I looked on the forum for something else. One guy was saying “forget all this indirect crap, do direct game instead”. He was called Shark and he was from Croatia. He and his friend Badboy were apparently going up to girls and actually telling them that they like them. This seemed more honest to me. I much preferred the idea of opening a girl with “I like you and I want to get to know you” than “Who lies more, men or women?”
He’d just released some CDs, so I got them and listened to them voraciously. 99% of his material was to do with inner game and changing the way you think about life and women. The other 1% was how to approach a woman. I spent all my time applying the inner game stuff as much as I could but still had problems approaching girls in pubs and in the street.
I went back on the Fast Seduction forum and managed to find someone in my city who was also trying to seduce women. I went out with him for a while and actually succeeded in talking to girls. However, I had no idea what to do after using my opener and got nowhere fast. Eventually my wing gave up and without his encouragement, I stopped approaching.
I somehow got myself a girlfriend through my social circle. I went to a New Years’ party and we got introduced because she was a singer in a band and I was a drummer who’d just left one. We talked all night and she asked me if I wanted to join her band. I went to a rehearsal to check them out and I thought they were really shit, so I told her:
“No, I don’t want to join your band, but I like you so I want to go out with you.”
I was amazed with myself and thought that this inner game stuff was hot shit, so I bought lots of books in self development and communication. Ever since then I’ve been on a constant self-development drive which has paid dividends. I transformed myself from a guy lacking in social skills and self-confidence to whom I am now. It eventually became evident that this girl and I weren’t cut out for each other though, so I dumped her and went back to University.
I was way too busy studying hard to go out and approach girls (or at least that’s the excuse I told myself), so I spent three years without sex. I tried online dating, but for me, the woman has far too much power in that market. I don’t feel like I’m the chooser and the only responses I was getting were from low self-esteem women and really old or ugly women, so I gave that up.
After I graduated though, I was determined to get back into game, so I Googled “direct game” and the first thing that came up was the Daygame.com website.
Shark seemed to have gone downhill in the intervening years, so I guessed that these guys were the new go-to people in direct game. They’d just released the Daygame Blueprint, which thrilled me, because it was the first time I’d seen a system using direct game which you could follow, to get you from meeting a girl to getting her number.
I watched all their videos, listened to some of the podcasts and signed up to the forum, because I knew the only way I could get out and approach was to find a wing. Luckily, there was one guy in the same city as me who was also looking for Daygame buddies, so we met up and I’ve been doing this ever since.
I think the reasons that Daygame works for me more than anything else I’ve tried are:
- It resonates with me. It feels right. I guess this is because you’re being honest with yourself and the girls you meet. There’s no deception or trickery.
- As it is a form of direct game, there is a lot of emphasis on self development and masculinity. I like this because it transfers into other areas of your life.
- I don’t have to go to bars and clubs to do it. I don’t drink anyway, so I don’t go into pubs for anything but to grab a meal with friends during the day. I can go out and meet women in the street or in shops.
- Women look a lot nicer in the daytime than they do at night. I hate it when women plaster layers of make-up on their faces and tart themselves up for a night out.
- As much as I work on myself, I’m an introvert and I feel uncomfortable in large groups of people. Talking one-on-one with a girl is ideal for me. I don’t have to deal with her annoying friends and can focus on her without any distractions.
You may disagree with me on some or all of the stuff I’ve said above, but in the end it doesn’t matter. You choose your path based on your personality and the reason I’m doing what I am now is because of that. If you try something and it doesn’t feel right, try something else.