One of the things that makes Game such an amazing journey of self-development is the mental and emotional control that a player has to learn.
After thousands of approaches, an equal number of text messages sent, dates planned and executed and girls laid, you learn to control your mind and your emotions. The man who used to be like a sapling blown this way and that in the breeze becomes a strong, mature tree which even the toughest winds cannot topple.
There are a number of moments during a seduction where you have to exert control of yourself. Doing the right or wrong thing or acting with composure or haste during these key junctures can make or break your chances of laying the girl. In this respect, at what points in your seduction should you be paying special attention to your mind?
Types of Moment
There are two different types of moment where you will need to exert the most self-control. These are those make-or-break moments and the composure-and-restraint moments.
Make-or-break moments include:
- The approach
- Insta-date request / number request
- Date request
- Kiss close
- Transitioning from venue to home
- Pulling the trigger
Composure-and-restraint moments include:
- Vacuuming during conversation
- Waiting for the girl to return your text message
- Restraint during kissing
- Not seeing a girl too often
The difference between these two types is thus:
The make-or-break moment is when you have to really say “Fuck it”, face your fear of rejection and just take the appropriate action to escalate to the next stage of the seduction.
The composure-and-restraint moments are where you have to keep yourself from acting, even though every nerve in your body is shouting at you to “Do it, just do it”.
We are going to have a short discussion about those latter moments.
During conversations in general, not just on a date with a girl, guys feel the need to fill in the silence with noise. This is a major sign of anxiety and means thatyou’re in your head too much. When you’re with your friends, you can go minutes, even hours in their company without talking to them and never feel anxious about it. So,why do you feel this need with a girl?
Because you care too much about what she thinks about you. You’re trying to impress her. There are many different techniques that you can use to improve the quality of your conversations with women.
One of them is the Vacuum.
This is where the girl finishes her train of through and stops talking. Instead of immediately speaking, you look her in the eye with an expectant expression on your face and just say nothing. When you try this the first time it feels really uncomfortable. But you will find that after a few seconds, she will fill the gap and talk again.
Congratulations, you just scored some points.
You transferred the anxiety from you to her with your strength of character.
Obviously don’t do this all the time, else it just looks like you have nothing to say, but sprinkle it into the conversation like spice and it will increase attraction.
After you’ve sent your feeler text and the girl responds with interest, it often happens that you send a ping and you hear nothing from her for hours. Beginners feel a massive pressure to send another text. Then another. And another. It ends up being like this scene from Swingers.
The right move is to exercise restraint and just wait. When this happens, the girl thinks that you have abundance with women or an active and interesting life, or that you’re just not as interested as she thought you were.
If you wait, the pressure increases on her and when she snaps, she will often send a long, needy message with lots of smiley faces.
Congratulations, you just increased her buying temperature and improved your chances of getting her out on a date.
When you get her to your house and you get up close and personal with the girl, you could go gung-ho, grab her face and stick your tongue in her mouth, but when you do this the first time you meet her, it could end up with her reaching for her bag and shoes and leaving.
If you get your face near to hers, look into her eyes and lean in to kiss her but don’t actually do so, she will start to breath more heavily, her eyes will sparkle, she will try to draw you closer to her. If you push her away or glide your hovering lips from her mouth to her jaw and neck and then back to the lips, she will start smiling, moaning and try to kiss you.
Your restraint has caused tension and made her wet and horny.
Congratulations, you just increased your chances of laying her.
If you’ve banged a girl a couple of times and want to keep her around, but also want to see other girls, it can be very tempting to see her every day and fuck like rabbits. If you do this, she will think that you want to be her boyfriend and will start planning in terms of a monogamous relationship, thus restraining your freedom.
However, if you see her only once a week and keep long text message exchanges to a minimum, you can keep her guessing.
Congratulations, you can keep her on but also get to see other girls.
When I mention tension in this post, I’m not talking about when your body tenses up. This is a sign of discomfort and is bad. I’m talking about sexual tension, which is a more cerebral thing. If you can create tension during your interaction with a girl, it will cause attraction. Just be careful not to over-do it as tension also causes fatigue.
As you can see, composure and restraint are just as important as grabbing your balls and going all in. In a seduction you need both, but one is more obvious than the other. It’s clear that you need to run up to the girl and talk to her, but it’s less clear that your conversation will be more effective if you’re not talking all the time. Relax and show restraint. Make her do more of the work.
If you can master this, you’ll not just be further along your journey towards mastery of women, but you will also be more effective as man.