When I first discovered the world of seduction in 2005, there wasn’t much information about. I downloaded a couple of David DeAngelo books, a couple of his video courses and a set of his ‘Interviews with Dating Gurus’ CDs. I watched, read and listened to them all several times. The problem with DeAngelo is that all his material is about ‘how to be attractive to girls’ and he gives very little information about the mechanics of approaching girls and actually seducing them.
It’s obvious now that he’s just a marketing genius and never really had any skills to begin with. Anybody seen a David DeAngelo approach video? No? I thought not.
It wasn’t all bad though, because his material is very good for inner game. Once you know what it is about guys that attracts women, you have a goal to work towards. Coincidentally, the majority of the qualities that men who are attractive to women have are those linked to high levels of masculinity. Thus, we can see that becoming a masculine guy is part of the process in your goal of becoming a guy who can seduce women. The other part encompasses the mechanics and techniques of initiating and cultivating an interaction with a hot girl, which leads to sex.
So, I was working on my inner game but I still had no idea how to meet attractive girls.
In actual fact it’s very easy. You see a hot girl and you walk up to her and say “Hi”.
Of course, when you’re starting out, the thought of actually approaching a girl is the last thing to cross your mind. There must be techniques! There must be tricks! You have to see a ‘Seduction Guru’ approach a girl in the street, right in front of your own eyes, before you can even begin to consider it to be anything other than totally impossible.
So, just like almost every other guy who begins their seduction journey, I looked for more information. I found the Mystery Method! I bought some nail polish and painted half my finger nails black and the other half white. I travelled to the city centre at the weekend at around lunchtime, went up to a random girl and said,
“Excuse me, I was just looking for an opinion. Which colour looks best on my nails? Black or white?”
The girl looked at me like I was a bit weird. She started edging away from me, made an excuse and scurried off. I tried it on another couple of girls with similar results.
“Fuck this shit. It doesn’t work. And I feel fucking gay”, I thought.
So I did more reading and found Shark‘s ‘Playboy Lifestyle’ and ‘Attract & Date’ CDs. He scorned the idea of peacocking and asking girls for opinions. He said, “Go up to the girl and tell her you like her”. Playboy Lifestyle was more oriented to clubs, so I went out to clubs but I would just wander around and not talk to girls. It seemed to me that a club is designed to do two things:
- Extract as much money from you as possible in the form of highly priced, watered down booze.
- Make it as hard as possible for you to meet and talk to girls, hence making you buy more booze, to get what we English call ‘Dutch Courage‘.
Luckily, the Attract & Date CDs seemed a bit more flexible. The material actually applied to daytime pickup in the street. The problem was, it consisted of eight CDs. I did actually listen to them many times over. I went out consistently, every Saturday for almost a year, trying to make myself go up to a hot girl and tell her,
“I like you and I want to get to know you.”
I never succeeded. But even if I had done, I wouldn’t have known what to do next. The only component of the structure of a pickup that Shark talks about is the approach. He explains all about how society forces you from your childhood to be a slave and a worker-bee. He also gives all sorts of missions to accomplish to supposedly break you free from society’s chains. I guess they helped me strengthen my inner game, but I still wasn’t approaching girls and that meant that I wasn’t getting laid either.
I actually travelled to Zagreb in Croatia for a bootcamp with Shark in 2008 after a year of failed approach attempts. He took me and a couple of other guys out on the streets and into the bars of Zagreb and made us approach girls. It was such a wonderful feeling! Shark is actually a really good approach coach and I ended up getting two dates during my weekend in Croatia’s capital city. However, the less said about his new-age spiritualist ideas, the better.
So, I returned to London thinking that I was cured of Approach Anxiety and eager to get out on the streets to apply what I’d learned. Then I was struck down by the ‘flu and had to lie in bed for a week to recover. Much to my surprise, after my recuperation, I was unable to approach women again. It was the same old mental block and the washing machine feeling in my stomach. During my week in bed, the excuses had returned. I kept trying for a bit but then gave up and then retreated to seduction forums.
On the forums I was a master seducer, drawing on my extensive knowledge of game theory to create expansive stories of my feats of seduction. Feats which were by no means duplicated in real life. I gave wonderful advice to other people who were also struggling, but it was advice that I wasn’t even following myself. This went on for months until I was forced to give up seduction by being made redundant from my job. That mean that I had to go back to University to retrain for a job in a more recession-proof industry.
It’s more than seven years later now and I’ve actually managed to learn how to seduce women. I have thousands of approaches under my belt. However, I go on forums now and see guys who are just like I was. I can tell a mile off whether someone is a theory junkie or whether they’re talking from experience. My advice to you is to avoid theory and just take as much action as you can.
Now that the seduction scene has matured, there are actual frameworks that you can adopt. You can follow them step-by-step and if you practice enough, you will go from never having approached a girl before to having sexual freedom, within a matter of months. Daygame is one such method. I’ll admit that I’m not familiar with all the others, but I’m sure there are alternatives out there if you wish to look.
Let me give you a couple of pieces of advice:
- Once you find a method that suits your personality, forget everything else and just concentrate on that.
- Don’t overload yourself with information. Try and assimilate only the information that is relevant to you at that particular moment. For example, there’s no point in you knowing how to kino-escalate on a woman if you can’t even approach yet. Concentrate on the approach. The same applies to each step of the seduction process. It’s a ladder. You can only climb one rung at a time.
In the end, after I finished University and decided that I wanted to get back out there and really learn this seduction thing, one event changed everything for me. I went on a forum and found someone who lived in my city who also wanted to go out and learn how to meet women. We met up and forced each other to approach girls. We did it every weekend for months until we could actually get numbers, go on dates and fuck these women. Bootcamps are okay, but constant progress is made by taking action consistently over a long period of time.
Don’t sit in front of a computer all the time, reading theory. Get out of your house, get your feet on the street and start saying “Hi” to some hotties.