MortPUA

Are You A Theory Junkie?

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When I first discovered the world of seduction in 2005, there wasn’t much information about. I downloaded a couple of David DeAngelo books, a couple of his video courses and a set of his ‘Interviews with Dating Gurus’ CDs. I watched, read and listened to them all several times. The problem with DeAngelo is that all his material is about ‘how to be attractive to girls’ and he gives very little information about the mechanics of approaching girls and actually seducing them.

It’s obvious now that he’s just a marketing genius and never really had any skills to begin with. Anybody seen a David DeAngelo approach video? No? I thought not.

It wasn’t all bad though, because his material is very good for inner game. Once you know what it is about guys that attracts women, you have a goal to work towards. Coincidentally, the majority of the qualities that men who are attractive to women have are those linked to high levels of masculinity. Thus, we can see that becoming a masculine guy is part of the process in your goal of becoming a guy who can seduce women. The other part encompasses the mechanics and techniques of initiating and cultivating an interaction with a hot girl, which leads to sex.

So, I was working on my inner game but I still had no idea how to meet attractive girls.

In actual fact it’s very easy. You see a hot girl and you walk up to her and say “Hi”.

Of course, when you’re starting out, the thought of actually approaching a girl is the last thing to cross your mind. There must be techniques! There must be tricks! You have to see a ‘Seduction Guru’ approach a girl in the street, right in front of your own eyes, before you can even begin to consider it to be anything other than totally impossible.

Theory Junkie

So, just like almost every other guy who begins their seduction journey, I looked for more information. I found the Mystery Method! I bought some nail polish and painted half my finger nails black and the other half white. I travelled to the city centre at the weekend at around lunchtime, went up to a random girl and said,

“Excuse me, I was just looking for an opinion. Which colour looks best on my nails? Black or white?”

The girl looked at me like I was a bit weird. She started edging away from me, made an excuse and scurried off. I tried it on another couple of girls with similar results.

“Fuck this shit. It doesn’t work. And I feel fucking gay”, I thought.

So I did more reading and found Shark‘s ‘Playboy Lifestyle’ and ‘Attract & Date’ CDs. He scorned the idea of peacocking and asking girls for opinions. He said, “Go up to the girl and tell her you like her”. Playboy Lifestyle was more oriented to clubs, so I went out to clubs but I would just wander around and not talk to girls. It seemed to me that a club is designed to do two things:

  1. Extract as much money from you as possible in the form of highly priced, watered down booze.
  2. Make it as hard as possible for you to meet and talk to girls, hence making you buy more booze, to get what we English call ‘Dutch Courage‘.

Luckily, the Attract & Date CDs seemed a bit more flexible. The material actually applied to daytime pickup in the street. The problem was, it consisted of eight CDs. I did actually listen to them many times over. I went out consistently, every Saturday for almost a year, trying to make myself go up to a hot girl and tell her,

“I like you and I want to get to know you.”

I never succeeded. But even if I had done, I wouldn’t have known what to do next. The only component of the structure of a pickup that Shark talks about is the approach. He explains all about how society forces you from your childhood to be a slave and a worker-bee. He also gives all sorts of missions to accomplish to supposedly break you free from society’s chains. I guess they helped me strengthen my inner game, but I still wasn’t approaching girls and that meant that I wasn’t getting laid either.

I actually travelled to Zagreb in Croatia for a bootcamp with Shark in 2008 after a year of failed approach attempts. He took me and a couple of other guys out on the streets and into the bars of Zagreb and made us approach girls. It was such a wonderful feeling! Shark is actually a really good approach coach and I ended up getting two dates during my weekend in Croatia’s capital city. However, the less said about his new-age spiritualist ideas, the better.

So, I returned to London thinking that I was cured of Approach Anxiety and eager to get out on the streets to apply what I’d learned. Then I was struck down by the ‘flu and had to lie in bed for a week to recover. Much to my surprise, after my recuperation, I was unable to approach women again. It was the same old mental block and the washing machine feeling in my stomach. During my week in bed, the excuses had returned. I kept trying for a bit but then gave up and then retreated to seduction forums.

Forum Junkie

On the forums I was a master seducer, drawing on my extensive knowledge of game theory to create expansive stories of my feats of seduction. Feats which were by no means duplicated in real life. I gave wonderful advice to other people who were also struggling, but it was advice that I wasn’t even following myself. This went on for months until I was forced to give up seduction by being made redundant from my job. That mean that I had to go back to University to retrain for a job in a more recession-proof industry.

It’s more than seven years later now and I’ve actually managed to learn how to seduce women. I have thousands of approaches under my belt. However, I go on forums now and see guys who are just like I was. I can tell a mile off whether someone is a theory junkie or whether they’re talking from experience. My advice to you is to avoid theory and just take as much action as you can.

Now that the seduction scene has matured, there are actual frameworks that you can adopt. You can follow them step-by-step and if you practice enough, you will go from never having approached a girl before to having sexual freedom, within a matter of months. Daygame is one such method. I’ll admit that I’m not familiar with all the others, but I’m sure there are alternatives out there if you wish to look.

Let me give you a couple of pieces of advice:

  • Once you find a method that suits your personality, forget everything else and just concentrate on that.
  • Don’t overload yourself with information. Try and assimilate only the information that is relevant to you at that particular moment. For example, there’s no point in you knowing how to kino-escalate on a woman if you can’t even approach yet. Concentrate on the approach. The same applies to each step of the seduction process. It’s a ladder. You can only climb one rung at a time.

In the end, after I finished University and decided that I wanted to get back out there and really learn this seduction thing, one event changed everything for me. I went on a forum and found someone who lived in my city who also wanted to go out and learn how to meet women. We met up and forced each other to approach girls. We did it every weekend for months until we could actually get numbers, go on dates and fuck these women. Bootcamps are okay, but constant progress is made by taking action consistently over a long period of time.

Don’t sit in front of a computer all the time, reading theory. Get out of your house, get your feet on the street and start saying “Hi” to some hotties.

How To Start And Sustain A Conversation With A Girl

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Me

This article is a follow-up to ‘Never Run Out Of Things To Say‘, which I wrote a few weeks ago. Click the link to read it, however the long and short of it was that if you have travelled a lot and you meet a girl from a place that you’ve been to, you’ll have plenty to talk about.

The problem that most blue-pill guys have is that they don’t know how to have an interesting conversation with a girl. They might summon the balls to go and talk a girl, but after a minute of pleasant chit-chat, she will make an excuse and wander off, never to be seen again. To be able to have a stimulating conversation is one of the key skills a guy should learn to keep a girl interested.

Maybe you’re a really social guy and conversation comes naturally to you. Bully for you, but you’re in a minority. It’s more likely that you stumble through conversations with the girls that you approach.  You often eject from interactions because you can’t think of anything to say. If this happens to you quite a lot, then this article will solve your problems.

Questions, Questions, Questions

The issue is that you’re asking too many questions. This is okay in moderation, but if your conversation consists entirely of questions, the girl is going to get tired of being interviewed by you and leave. If all you do is ask her questions, you’ve got two dilemmas:

Firstly, you appear to have nothing to say. When you first meet a girl, you can’t expect her to carry the conversation by doing all of the talking. If you’re just asking her questions, you’re trying to force her to make more of an effort than you. Until you’ve convinced her that she wants to get to know you, she isn’t going to want to put any effort into the interaction. She just wants to get rid of you so she can continue with her shopping. So she’ll give you a number, be it real or fake to get rid of you. Either that, or she’ll just make some excuse and walk away.

Secondly, you appear needy. If all you’re doing is asking questions, you’re sucking value from her. You’re an energy-sucking vampire. Nobody wants to spend time with an energy-sucking vampire. They want to spent time with someone who gives them energy and makes them feel good. A girl will gravitate to you if you’re not needy and you’re giving her value.

So, how do you do it properly? Well, I hinted at the solution in ‘Never Run Out Of Things To Say’. You have to do the talking. At least at the beginning while she’s still unsure of whether she really wants to be spending her time talking to you or not.

You Do The Talking

After you’ve been through the assumption stacking phase of the Daygame Blueprint, you will have a topic of conversation. Let’s say you told the girl that she looks like she’s from somewhere in the Mediterranean because she’s got dark hair, she has tanned skin and she’s wearing a pair of those massive Italian sunglasses that make her look like she’s hiding a pair of black eyes.

She will probably laugh and say that yes, she’s from Greece. Boom! That’s your topic of conversation.

This is the magic trick:

You make a statement about what she said. Either that, or you make a statement and then you ask a question.

So the conversation used to be something like this:

Her: “I’m from Greece.”

You: “What’s Greece like?”

Her: “It’s okay.”

You: “Um, bye!”

After implementing the magic trick, the conversation becomes something like this:

Her: “I’m from Greece.”

You: “Ah Greece. I’ve never been there before but I heard that the weather is super-nice and sunny, the men are really fat and ugly and the women are very sexy and feminine.”

Her: “Yes, I love the weather in my country. England is so grey and rainy all the time.”

You: “It’s not so bad. We do have a really short summer here. All the English guys try to make the most of it by taking off their shirts and wandering around topless. The problem is we’re so white that a day in the sun turns us red like beetroots and we spend the rest of the summer recovering from sunburn.”

Her: “Haha! That’s funny.”

You: “I guess you’ll be staying indoors during the summer. Seeing so many topless guys will make you horny all the time. Do you prefer Greek guys or English guys?”

Her: “I think English guys are more charming and sweet.”

You: “Maybe some of them, but behind our sweet exterior is a passionate interior.”

Listen And Make Statements

You can see how the conversation continues from here. You’re taking what she said and running with it. In addition, you’re being a bit cheeky and turning the conversation in a sexual direction. You’re pushing the frame to be fun and flirty, not boring and formal. This is what makes the girl want to go on a date with you after you take her number.

If you find yourself interviewing her, stop right now!

Use the conversational thread she gives you. Search your memory for something related to what she said and tell her about it. If you can’t think of anything, make something up. In the example above, I’d never been to Greece, so I made up three things about her country and told her them. They that could be right or wrong, who cares? She’ll make a comment about what you said and that will give you another thread to make a statement about.

As long as you’re listening, you’ll never run out of things to say.

Once you’ve got the statement / statement-question conversational skill practiced and internalised, you can start to throw in attraction. This is when your interactions will skyrocket. Attraction is the spice in a conversational stew. But I’ll leave that article for another day.

Go out and practice!

Never Run Out Of Things To Say

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When you’re beginning the process of learning Daygame, it really helps that there is a set structure. I hear intermediate and experienced Daygamers telling novices to forget structure and just freestyle. I just think they’re forgetting how they got where they are. It’s like sitting a learner driver behind the wheel and saying, “Okay, just freestyle. You’ll learn how to drive eventually.”

Sure, you’ll learn. This is how Yad, Mystery, and all the pioneers started. They knew nothing and just experimented until they came up with something that worked. But you don’t have to. I’ve there’s a structure, learn it and then modify it to your needs and your personality. Then you’ll cut down the time required to learn how to meet and seduce girls to something which is manageable. Instead of taking six years, you can start seeing results in six months to a year.

The structure of the standard Daygame set is: Approach, Opener, Assumption stack, Rapport / Attraction, Number close / Instadate.

After a few months of going out regularly to meet girls, you can take a split second to ask yourself where you are in the structure and what you need to do to get yourself to the next stage. Along the way, you’ll learn the different gambits, techniques and mindsets required to optimise each stage and every time you go out, you will fine-tune your skills.

Most of the stages have specific mechanisms that you can use to increase your chances of getting a positive response from the girl. You mix these mechanisms with spontaneity and inspiration to create an interesting and fun storyline to your interaction. Daygame requires you to use the logical and creative sides of your brain simultaneously.

How To Fix Your Rapport Failings

One of the things that many guys struggle with initially is what to talk to the girl about during the rapport stage. The answer is to make sure that you’re listening to what she is saying. That’s why we make assumptions about her after the opener. We’re looking for an insight into her interests and passions so we can weave a story about them.

Once you spoken to enough girls, you’ll find that there becomes a pattern. You’ll think, “Ah, this is an X girl” or “This is a Y girl” and you can bring up topics from previous sets to get rapport. Every girl has her own unique slant on life and you use your experience to tell stories about when you were in a similar situation and what happened.

But what happens when you don’t have any experience with the threads that she brings up? For example, what if you met a tanned dark haired girl and you tell her that you admire her Mediterranean looks? She smiles shyly and tells you she’s from Barcelona. What do you say next?

Personally, I’ve been to Barcelona. I can tell her how I went to the Sagrada Familia cathedral and spent the whole day there. How I went up the top of one of the towers and saw the extent of the city. How I got vertigo crossing a small bridge from one tower to another. I can tell her how much I like Chorizo Sausage or how I prefer Chicken Paella to Seafood Paella. She’s going to have an opinion on what I said: “Oh the Sagrada Familia is such a waste of money, it’s just a tourist trap”, “Gaudi is overrated”, “What? You don’t like seafood?”, etc, etc.

If you know something about what she’s talking about, rapport becomes much easier. After speaking to a few hundred girls, you’ll be able to spot trends. You’ll find yourself approaching one type of girl more than another. This is fine. Everyone has their own taste in women. Use this to your advantage.

Do Your Homework

If you find that you like Italian women, but you’ve never been to Italy, get yourself on a plane and go visit Rome, Milan, Venice and Naples. Rapport will be so much easier when you actually have an opinion based on experience. You can take the piss out of her native customs, you can tell her your favourite and least favourite things about her country.

If you can’t visit your favourite girls’ countries, you’ll eventually get stories and assumptions that you can give by spending time with these girls and asking questions about their homelands. You can then use these stories with other girls. For example, I really like native Chinese girls, but I’ve never been anywhere near China. If I meet one and she tells me that’s where she’s from, I often give her a fictional story about a friend of mine who visited and told me about his experiences.

I’ll tell her, “I have a friend who went to China a couple of years ago. He went to Beijing, Shanghai and Hong Kong, but he liked Hong Kong best because it’s still a little bit English. They still have double-decker busses and stuff.”

The information about the double-decker buses is something I found out from a girl I met on the street who was from Hong Kong. I don’t know how many times I’ve told a variation of that story. In fact it’s been getting a little stale recently. To end that problem, I’ve booked myself a holiday to China in August. That will give me a lot more to talk about and relate to with the girls I meet.

You don’t have to have experience at all. You can just make assumptions about her origin. This is some that Jon Matrix does a lot. If she tells you she’s from Australia, you can say something like:

“I’ve never been to Australia before, but I imagine that the weather is always sunny. You spend all of your time drinking beer and barbecuing on the beaches. Girls wear bikinis 24/7 and everyone travels to work by surfboard.”

This is just taking a bunch of stereotypes and mashing them together. She’ll either get indignant or laugh out loud. Either way you’ve received a reaction from her which will give you more to talk about.

As an exercise, after a day on the street talking to girls, ask yourself what information you found out about where they’re from and write it down. Watch videos about these places and the people that live there. Try and find out amusing facts or embarrassing stories that you can relay to girls in the future. Or better still, go and visit these places.

One thing that a lot of guys forget is that knowledge is one of the attraction devices (the others being push/pull, teasing, challenging, domination, sexual vibe, etc) that you weave into your interactions. If you have strong general knowledge, the girls is going to be impressed and attracted to you. If you have specific knowledge about her home town or country, she’ll be even more attracted.

Don’t Be Too Available

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Too Available

As I alluded to in my previous post: Always be Closing, game is a sales process. You’re selling yourself to the girl.

If you’ve ever had to buy a new Television, Washing Machine or Car you’ll have come across professional salesmen.

I bet you can remember things that they did or said to put you off. For example, they were far too pushy, too needy, they tried to sell you something you didn’t want to buy. Maybe you just didn’t like the way they looked.

When it comes to selling yourself to a girl, the same applies. She will react to your game depending how polished it is, how well you tailor your interaction to suit her personality and how well you present yourself.

One of the biggest things that turns a girl off is if the guy is too available.

What I mean is, that when you communicate or sub-communicate that you’ve got no options, you’re going to repel her. A girl wants a guy who has options. Unlike men, girls place a lot of emphasis on the judgement of other people.

If you can demonstrate that other people like you and want to be with you, this will make the girl that you’re interested in more interested in you.

Watch this video, it’s from Swingers, one of my favourite films. This is an example of what not to do.

Obviously, we don’t call girls after we get their number anymore, this isn’t the 90’s. We send a text message. However, inexperienced guys will always want to get into a conversation over text with the girl once they’ve gotten those digits.

NO!

Keep texting minimal. Be unpredictable. Leave long gaps before replying to her messages.

Imagine that instead of sitting in front of your phone waiting for her to reply to your text message, you have a far more interesting life.

Imagine that you’ve got half a dozen girls texting you all the time to come over and spend time with them.

Imagine you’re out with your friends and don’t want to be disturbed, so you’ve got your phone on silent.

Imagine you’re busy working on your business or you’re in the gym.

If all of this were true, you’d finish what you were doing and see a bunch of messages and missed calls on your phone from girls. You’d quickly send replies to the ones who interest you and then forget about it and do other stuff.

Now, if you’re not in that situation, act as if you were.

This will sub-communicate to the girl that you have interesting stuff going on in your life which is taking up all your time. You’re in demand. This is exactly the kind of guy she’s looking for. Not some lonely loser who devotes all his waking hours to her and dotes on her.

The same applies to all of your interactions with girls. Don’t be too available.

When you’re talking to the girl after you first meet her, always give a time constraint:

“I can’t talk for too long because I’m supposed to be going to meet my friends.”

When you’re on a date:

“I can’t hang out for too long tonight because I’ve got stuff to do before I go to bed.”

When you’re seeing a girl:

“I can’t come over on Saturday, I’ve got a big meet-up with my old buddies from college.”

Be elusive. Don’t be too available. Have (or appear to have) an abundant lifestyle.

If you follow this rule, you soon will have.

How to Approach a Girl

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There were days when approaching a girl in the street wasn’t ‘possible’ according to game-lore. If you wanted to meet a new girl, it had to be done in socially-acceptable venues such as bars and clubs. Even then, you had to stand in front of the girl, twist your head to look over your shoulder at her and then give her your opener. Since then, game has evolved. Guys aren’t so scared to be direct any more. Now we’re approaching on the street, in shops and in other not-so socially-acceptable places.

But I still see guys doing this:

Angled-Stop

Don’t do it! Don’t approach girls from an angle. If you approach from an angle, she’s just going to walk past you. Why? Because she can see your lack of conviction and therefore knows that you don’t have any balls. What heterosexual girl wants to date a guy with no balls? If you approach from an angle, you’re weak. If you approach from the side when you have the option of approaching from the front, you’re weak. If you approach from behind, you’re just a creep. If you want to appear to the girl to be an actual man, you approach like this:

Front-Stop

This way, you are totally blocking the girl’s path. I can see some of you guys squirming in your chair as you read this. You’re the ones I’m talking to. The point of being a guy is to be dominant and decisive. If you don’t walk right up to her, directly from the front, she’s not going to respect you. This is the mindset you should have: You see the girl and you damn well go up to her and claim her.  There’s no chance of escape for her. She’s your prey.

I’m going to link to a video from one of my favourite films below; ‘Swingers‘. The main character, Mikey has just made a half-arsed attempt at number-closing a chick at the bar. He’s walking back to his table in defeat, when we join him:

As you see, the quality of your approach depends on your mindset. If you go up and don’t believe you have the right to talk to that girl, you’re not going talk to her. She’s just going to walk on by. So, understand, you’re a big wolf and she’s just a little frightened bunny. You go up to her directly from the front and dominate the interaction. No excuses.

This is why a lot of guys give up after they’ve tried direct game a few times. “It’s too hard!”

Damn right it’s hard, being a man is hard. It’s not about learning a bunch of techniques, it’s about strengthening your mind. After all, that’s what a woman wants; a strong man. Strong inside and out. Build your body and build your mind, or preferably both at the same time.

Did you know that the mind and the body are linked? There are stories of guys lifting cars away from injured passengers because in the immediate aftermath of the accident, their minds were no longer limiting their real strength. There’s a truth that lifting weights builds your confidence. In order to constantly increase the weight that you can lift, you have to first tell your mind that you can do it. If you don’t believe that you can lift a heavier weight, your mind stops your body from being able to do so. Mind affects body, body affects mind.

So, believe that the girl will stop and you’ll automatically approach from the front.

When you do that, she’ll stop and wait to hear what you’ve got to say.