MortPUA

Definiteness of Purpose.

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There was a period in my life when I wasn’t sure what the point of it all was.

My Mother tried to bring me up as a Catholic, but from an early age I rejected Christianity. I read the Bible, sang the hymns and went to church until about seven years old. At that point, something clicked in my head and I decided that I didn’t believe in it. I can’t remember what my original reason was, but thinking about it from a logical point of view, Christianity makes no sense.

Now, this post isn’t a rant against religion. I actually have no interest in religion. I’m neither for nor against it.

What my Mum was trying to do however, was give my life a purpose, whether she meant it or not.

When you’re a kid, you don’t really think about death. If you do, you don’t really connect the dots. For me, it took until my mid-twenties until I really understood that my life was finite. During the years when I was pursuing the dream of becoming a professional musician, it was common for me to get stoned and ponder the mysteries of life and the universe. There seems to be a quality of weed which allows you to probe deep into a specific line of enquiry in your mind.*

Exploration Through Drugs

This one time, I was trying to work out what I would be thinking and feeling in the minutes and seconds before my own death. And then I suddenly realised, I’d be absolutely petrified! My own belief is that after death, the self is terminated and nothing of your personality or presence exists after that moment. This concept became traumatic to me for the first time in my life and eventually over the course of a few months became a fully-fledged neurosis. I would be too scared to go to bed in case I died in my sleep.

Eventually I went to a psychiatrist and instead of giving me some kind of tranquilliser or other drug to numb my over-active nerves, he told me that I would never be free of this fear.

“That’s no help!” I thought.

Then he wrote down the title of a book on a piece of paper, told me to read it and sent me away. I was disgusted. Like everybody, I wanted a quick fix. I wanted someone else to take responsibility for my problems. So, I waited a couple of weeks until I could bear it no more, then went to a shop and bought the book.

It was Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers.

I highly recommend this book to anybody who is suffering from fear. Which is practically everybody. It seems that pretty much any negative emotion you can think of has its root in fear. Just think of learning to game women:

  • You’re afraid of what other people will think when you talk to a girl in the street.
  • You’re afraid of a negative reaction from the girl.
  • You’re afraid that she might think you’re too tall, short, fat, ugly, black, Asian, bald or whatever.

It’s all fear. In the book, Susan Jeffers just tells you that all you need to realise is that:

“I can handle it.”

However, this brief self-history and reprise of my earlier post on Avoidance is not the point of this post. The point is that there is no point. I eventually fixed my fear of death and other fears, but it left me with the question:

“So what should I do with my life between now and the end of it?”

Exploration Through Reading

I spent months reading about other religions; I even became convinced that Buddhism was the answer. However, as much as I think that meditation is a powerful tool for self-development, I still cannot bring myself to believe in rebirth and karma (both of which are inextricably linked).

So, I read the writings of various philosophers, and although I agreed with some concepts of many of their ideas, no one person gave me the answer that I was looking for. The closest I came to finding a practical way to live my life was the philosophy of Albert Camus.

I eventually came to the conclusion that you have to be positive about your life and that in the absence of ultimate purpose; you have to give your own meaning to life.

This is where I return to the point of definiteness of purpose. You have to find a meaning to exist and you need to be certain about it, because it will be the base upon which you build the rest of your life.

There are so many people in the world who live aimlessly, or even worse; look to other people to give their life a meaning, as my Mother tried to when I was a child. In the end, the answer came from the greatest resource of information in history:

The Internet

I was reading a long-forgotten self-development forum and one of the writers suggested a test. If you’re feeling a little direction-less yourself, I recommend answering this question yourself:

“If you only had a month to live, what would you spend your life doing?”

I asked a friend and he told me he’d spend it with his family. My answer was:

“To fuck as many hot women as possible!”

Now, we may not die within a month. We don’t know when we’re going to die. But, the answer you give to this question should give you an idea of what you should be spending the majority of your time and energy pursuing right now and probably for the next few years at least. Since I answered this question, most of my time and efforts have been put into increasing the chances I have of achieving my purpose.

  • I learnt game.
  • I took public speaking classes.
  • I learned how to be good in bed.
  • I worked hard on inner-game and masculinity.
  • I moved to a city where there are a large number of high quality women.

You can see that once you have definiteness of purpose, you are able to really focus on what you can do to align yourself with that purpose. It becomes like a massive arrow pointing in the direction of your life. I don’t have a fear of death any more, because I know that before I draw my last breath, I can look back and see that I followed my purpose and will have pride in what I achieved during the journey of my life.

* I don’t condone the use of drugs. Although there are some benefits to using weed, over the long term, the effects can be overwhelmingly negative. My opinion is that if you’re going to smoke weed, do it in moderation and infrequently.

Action vs. Reaction.

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One thing that you’ll notice about most non-achievers is that they are consumers. They work at a nine-to-five job, five days per week for years. They money they earn is spent. In early years, it goes on music, games, entertainment, socialising and technology. Later, it is spent on cars, houses, holidays, more technology, marriages and children. People take everything they earn and spend it on something.

One thing you’ll notice about most high-achievers is that they are producers. They are always creating something new. They are the ones who create the objects that the consumers devour. Don’t get me wrong, there are people who are non-achievers who also produce. Just think of the bedroom musician who writes for a hobby, or the backyard potter who makes ceramics for fun and gives them to friends.

High-achievers however, will create something of value to a consumer and find a way to deliver that object to them. They either create something completely new or modify something existing to make it better. Then they offer it to market for the consumers to buy.

Break the Habit

It can be difficult to become a producer if you have spent your whole life as a consumer. But, if you want to try, put your mind to it for thirty days, and you will find that it becomes a habit. The same applies to bad habits. Abstain for thirty days and you will break the habit.

An analogy can be made to pickup. That is, acting as opposed to reacting. In actual fact, by acting, we are producing, as you will see.

Action is Essential in Game

If we see a girl we like, and we know a little game, the first thing we will do is go and talk to her. We take action, because by doing so, we have a chance to achieve what we want. Whilst pushing forward the interaction through its various stages, we are putting the seduction framework into action.

For example, when we’ve portrayed our personality to the girl and she is relaxed and enjoying the interaction, we will eventually close her in some way. We as men, have to take action to make sure that happens. The girl will not do it. Do you think she’ll number close you, kiss you, take you home and lay you? No. You take action. She reacts to the action you take.

If you want to be good at game, you need to be aware of what you’re doing throughout an interaction with a girl. You need to be asking yourself:

“Am I taking action, or am I reacting?”

If you’re reacting, you’ll get nowhere. As a leader, you need to be taking action, forcing the issue, moving forward. If however, you don’t want abundance with women, you should remain reactive. Wait until someone else makes a move.

Move Forward in Your Life

Maybe you can see why learning game improves your life as a whole. By learning to be a man of action, you are also learning the skill at the root of achievement in life. Action is a form of creation. You are making a connection with a girl that did not exist before. Simply by taking action. Sure, on many occasions, the interaction will lead to nothing, but sometimes your effort will result in a prize.

Maybe, instead of surfing the internet, reading blogs, you could write a blog. Maybe instead of checking out eBay or Amazon for cool gadgets to buy, you could make your own and sell it on those same websites. One is action, one is reaction. One is production, the other is consumption.

One final analogy. Cattle consume. They eat all day long and wander around in their field oblivious to the fact that they’re just being fattened up for slaughter. The farmer feeds the cattle and one day reaps the reward of his work. Would you rather be the cattle or the farmer?

How to Get Yourself Out of Debt.

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Debt is a prison to keep you trapped in a world of no-hope and no-chance. It is a prison that the wolves use to keep you a sheep and therefore under control. If you want to be a wolf yourself and have freedom and success, you need to get rid of debt, get in the black and start making some money.

As Daygame is an offshoot of Direct Game, much of your success will come from turning yourself into a solid, self-confident guy rather than from techniques and pick-up lines. One thing that girls will almost psychically pick up on when talking to you is your sense of self-worth and level of happiness. You can make yourself feel happy when you’re sad but true happiness is radiant and will be noticed by anybody.

Self-worth comes from accomplishing notable things and overcoming hurdles in your life. Your life becomes lighter and more happy if you have no burden of debt. You no longer have to worry where money is coming from and it is like a weight is removed from your shoulders. Women will see this in your eyes and the way you walk and hold yourself.

This is a bit of a long story, but it’s my story and you can see how I went from being just another average sheep to where I am now and how I did it. If you’re somewhere along the same timeline and in similar circumstances it may give you a path to help get yourself out of it the pickle you’re in.

They Prey on the Young and Naive

When I was 18 years old and a fresh new student at University, I had to get myself a bank account to put the cash from my student grant (yes it was that long ago) into. I thought I was good at budgeting, like I thought I was good at everything, but although I was better than most of my peers, it proved to be almost impossible to live as a student and not get into debt.

After the three years, I had resisted getting a student loan (which turned out to be a good thing) but had managed to accumulate the burden of an overdraft. It was still under a thousand pounds, so the monthly interest payments were barely noticeable. But now I know why Lottery millionaires often lose their wealth within months of winning it. They get a large amount of money without having to earn it, so they do not value it. With my education, the money was given to me for free by the government, so it was easy for me to squander it and not care.

In the end, I failed to graduate because I chose a degree more on whim than anything else. It fitted the A-Levels I’d done. Many of my classmates were going into it. It would be a well-paid profession. My careers teacher told me that I should go to University and enjoy myself. I did a Mechanical Engineering degree.

After less than a year I knew that I never wanted to be an Engineer and spent most of my time playing on the then-fledgeling Internet, programming simple text-based games and chatting girls up over email. That should have been a pointer to me as to what I should have been doing with my time. But I felt pressure from my parents to study and graduate with a degree. In the end I flunked and wasted three years of my life.

Get Your Life in the Right Order

If I was the kind of guy then that I am now, before deciding to go to University, I’d have taken a year off, worked for six months and gone travelling. This would have given me time to work out what I wanted to do with my life. I don’t know if I’d be the person I am now though without having gone through everything that follows, so maybe it was for the best.

With a vague idea of travelling and somehow improving my lot, I went to Wisconsin in the US for the summer with the aim of paying my overdraft back by joining a scheme aimed at taking students over there as sales-reps. We had to pay for our own flights and living costs but they would provide us with products to sell. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it was just a company’s way of exploiting naive young graduates.

We were to sell aerial photographs of people’s houses and neighbourhoods to families by walking around knocking on their doors. I had a great time (youthful enthusiasm got me by) and as a bonus, had a couple of liaisons with the girls in my group during the four months out there.

However, I turned out to be an average salesman and ended up not even making enough money to pay for the bus back to New York, let alone enough to pay for the flights and make a profit. Luckily, it was my Dad that lent me the money in the first place and he wasn’t charging me interest, but I hated having to pay him the money back and it took long months to do it. I just wanted to go out, drink beer, watch live bands and meet girls.

I returned from the US and I had to get myself a job. As I had no experience at anything but sales, I went into that, selling electrical goods like TVs, washing machines, etc. I had a massive interest in music at the time. Music and women were all I could think of, so I thought why not combine the two? Everyone knows that musicians get women. So, with my rudimentary drumming skills, I joined a band with my school-friend who was a guitarist.

Have a Vision and Work Towards It

For more than ten years, I played drums in various bands and lived a stoner musician low-life existence. I didn’t make it in the music business nor did I get laid as a direct result of being a drummer. All I got was ten years of living on the bread-line.

When you have a shit job just to make ends meet, you live month-to-month and you can barely pay your bills and living costs. When you smoke and drink and go out all the time to bars to play or just socialise, all your money goes, plus more. I’d increase my overdraft by a little every month. I bought a computer on credit, to be paid over three years.

After two years my monitor blew, so I got a larger loan to pay off my original loan, plus pay for a new flatscreen monitor. A couple of years later, I got another loan to consolidate that one. I hoped to use the extra cash to buy a van to enable the band I was in at the time to go on tour. I thought that if we could go on tours, more people would be able to see us and we would have more chance of getting signed. What actually happened was that I spent most of the money on getting stoned and other trivial stuff.

During that whole hazy time, I did do one fairly clever thing and that was to get myself back to college and do an evening class on Computer-Aided Design. This got me a job in London which had a pretty good wage. Far more than I’d had in the past. I even started saving up some cash to pay off my loan.

I’d become interested in Game around this time and had started to go out to meet girls, without much success. So, I got myself my own flat which, with housing prices in London being ridiculous, was barely within my means, and I paid for a bootcamp with an eminent pick-up instructor in Croatia (on my overdraft of course). I came back from an amazing experience where I was talking to model-quality girls and going on dates, but I failed to replicate my success in Croatia upon returning to London.

Not long after, the recession hit, my job was made redundant and I found myself on the dole.

Turn Your Life Around One Good Decision at a Time

I had an expensive flat to pay for but I had to stay in London for a little while longer as previously in a moment of clarity, I had decided to do a pre-university course in to try and get myself out of the shit job market and into a good job market.

Being on the dole was good in that I had all day every day to knuckle down and concentrate on my course, but the money I had coming in from unemployment benefit didn’t pay for all of my living costs and it didn’t pay for loan payments and overdraft interest. Money was hemorrhaging from my account and it wouldn’t be long before the cash I’d saved to pay off my loan was gone.

I finished my course, managed to get out of London by breaking the contract on my flat and moved to Nottingham to do a degree in Computing. Once there, despite really strict budgeting for food and having no social life, money was slipping away. In the end, what saved me from the financial cliff-edge was two things:

  1. Selling all of my possessions (including my prized drum-kit) on eBay to pay for rent.
  2. The help of an awesome charity called Elizabeth Finn. They paid me a lump sum to keep me going and also gave me a small monthly payment to tide me over until I got my first student loan cheque. If it hadn’t been for them I’d probably be in prison or dead.

I knew that because I hadn’t used one when I went to university before, the government would give me a loan to pay for my course, but for one less year than I needed. My idea was to get a part-time job whilst studying and save up enough cash to pay for the missing year by the time I came to it. However after a few days on the course, it turned out that the government was going to make me pay for my first year, not my last year. But I’d already started the course, so I would have to pay for the first year whatever happened. I was stuck like a rat in a trap. I had no money, a large loan and overdraft and a degree course to pay for. This was one of the most stressful periods of my life.

Luckily I have awesome parents and they gave me the entirety of their life savings to pay for this course. Also, now that I was officially student, I managed to get a second overdraft with a different bank by lying to them, but that barely kept me going.

Cut the Crap – Get Rid of Your Baggage

I was living with a girl at the time and we were really unmatched to each other, which made daily life really difficult. We were both stressed out at being jobless and poor, we weren’t fucking and she was a massive spendthrift, so combined with the shitty life I was already living, I withdrew into a little shell and spent most of my time playing online games. I got along, barely passing the modules of my course, onward to my oblivion.

And then came the crucial moment where I woke up from my haze and saw what had become of me.

My entire life was a mass of debt and I was constantly failing to stand up to responsibility for my own lack of success. I didn’t realise it at the time, but the scales of my life flipped at that moment. I had been slowly building up a positive momentum for a few years and this one point of my life was when my life switched over from a negative to a positive trend.

I dumped my girlfriend, moved to a cheaper flat, told the loan company that I couldn’t pay them for the foreseeable future and cancelled the direct debit. I stopped playing games, started to wake up early and exercise and worked hard all day, every day on my course work. I had the hassle of the loan company turning my loan over to debt collectors, but they had nothing on me as I had no assets and I was a student. They would call me every week asking for the money, so I told them that I was a student and would pay them off when I graduated and got myself a job.

During the winter I had no heating, so I worked dressed in a sleeping bag and bedsheets. Because I lived in a shitty area, hoodlums vandalised my only mode of transport; my bicycle and they also superglued the lock on the door to my flat, but I worked through it and eventually I graduated.

With distinction.

Turn Negative Experiences into Positive Experiences

I think when you experience a massive amount of hardship and difficulty, it hardens you as a person and makes you more resilient. Looking back, if I had chosen the right path before going to University the first time, I may still be a sheep, tied to a marriage / children / mortgage burden like everybody else. Or I may have gotten to where I am now, but fifteen years earlier. Who knows? You have to start from where you are in life and make good decisions. That’s what I’m doing now.

Anyway, after graduation, I wasn’t expecting much as my previous experience of the job market wasn’t very good. I was expecting nothing when I put my CV on a job site, but after a couple of days I had agencies calling me and I had an interview. That interview lead to a job.

I accepted. There were problems. It was a four hour daily commute, but it paid well enough. I did that for three months. During that time I just worked, commuted, ate and slept. I didn’t have any spare time. Eventually I managed to work up enough cash to pay for a house near my employers and that’s where I came over the plateau and started my rise.

During the next two years I used my experience of living a frugal life and became determined to get rid of this Sword of Damocles that had been hanging over my head for fifteen years. This awful, debilitating debt.

How to Get Rid of Debt

I started saving as much spare cash as I could every month. I read that you could make an offer to debt collection agencies, so once I’d saved up 75% of the amount that I owed to them, I called and offered it to them as a lump sum. They took it. I was delighted. I could feel my burden being lightened, brick by brick, pound by pound.

I’d also read about zero percent interest credit cards. You can buy whatever you want and not have to pay interest on the money until 18 months later. There was even one where you could transfer a lump sum into your bank account. I applied for this and managed to get it. The credit card companies expect you to buy lots of useless rubbish and forget to pay the money off. Then they hit you for crippling interest payments.

Not me though. I’d learned my lesson. I used the lump sum they transferred to my account to pay off my biggest overdraft and closed that bank account. Then I worked out how much I’d have to pay off every month to clear the credit card debt before I had to start paying interest and paid it every single month. Coincidentally, this also allowed me to pay my parents back within the same time-frame, so I remained disciplined for 18 months and just got on with it.

I was almost out of debt, all I had left was the overdraft on my student account. I reckoned it would take me another six months to get rid of and I would be debt free! During this whole period I’d been learning Daygame and I’d started to get good at it, but I wanted higher quality women and I wanted to earn more money and have greater opportunities in life, so after the six months was over, I planned to move to London.

Then something happened. The company I was working for lost a major client and I lost my job (again).

But it was different this time. I didn’t have a massive debt load. I could think clearly and look upon the event positively. I had been at the job exactly two years, so they gave me a large redundancy payment. I saw my chance, so I paid off my last overdraft debt and used the remaining cash to move to London, earlier than expected.

Exponential Upward Spiral

You cannot believe the amount of joy I felt at getting rid of this debt and finally being in the black. After fifteen years swimming in murky water, I finally emerged into the light. A great feeling of opportunity and enthusiasm washed over me.

I got a job fairly easily and despite the steep hike in living costs in London, the amount of spare cash I had after expenses was comparable to living in the Midlands. So, I began to invest money in the stock market and looked for business opportunities to enable me to start making a secondary income. Once you have cash to invest, there are ways to increase your wealth quickly. Check out the following books for ideas:

DeMarco’s book is the one that resonates with me the most and is the model that I am trying to implement at the moment. He does mock the 4-Hour Work Week (4HWW) and Rich Dad Poor Dad (RDPD) because their philosophies differ from his, but there are still important lessons to be learned from both books. For example, 4HWW teaches you the benefits of business automation and remote working and RDPD teaches you the difference between assets and liabilities and the value of hard work. Think and Grow Rich is essential reading to get you in the right mindset for success and is still selling massive numbers of copies despite being more than eighties years old.

Eventually I’ll be making enough from my secondary business income that it will turn into my primary income and I can quit working for someone else and work for myself instead. This will free up a lot of cash by enabling me to pay myself before the tax man, allowing me to have extra cash to invest. Then, eventually I will automate the business as much as possible and spend the rest of my days free to meet and fuck girls and travel the world.

Get rid of your debt, stop being a sheep and become a wolf. Do it while you’re young and can enjoy it.

Be the Best Version of You.

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I don’t remember what programme it was, as it has been a few years since I owned a TV and even longer since I watched this particular show. It think it was the Twilight Zone or The Outer Limits. One of the two. Either way, the programme portrayed a short suspense suspense story where the protagonist, through some kind of technological mishap is able to see and experience different dimensions. When I say dimensions, I don’t mean height, width and depth. I mean copies of our own universe in which a large or insignificant amount of differences exist. In this programme, the protagonist was able to see his own doppelganger at the same age in life, what became of him based on the circumstances he experienced and the decisions he made in his life.

Which Doppelganger are you?

Some versions of himself were begging on the street, others were married with kids, others were lonely and single. Some versions of himself were successful businessmen, womanisers with girls hanging off their arms, even politicians and rich entrepreneurs. When he saw the latter, he looked at himself, Mr. Joe Average and saw what could have become of him if he had just made a few different decisions. All of these versions of him had started from the same place, but each of them had ended up in a different place based on what they did at specific points in the lives.

Be the Best Version.

What this programme meant to me wasn’t this guy’s angst at his average life. What I got from it was that maybe he’d wasted a few years of his life by making some non-optimum decisions, but he could still start from his current baseline and begin to make good decisions. In time, he would be able to experience the same situation and find that his own life was comparable to the best doppelgangers from the different dimensions. So, starting now, you should imagine yourself to be the best version of you and try to work out what directions in the path of your life you need to be taking to get there.

Where to start?

Here are some ideas, all of which I have accomplished or am working on at the moment.

As I write more posts on here, I’ll be tackling these topics so keep stopping by.