As a man, one of the things you should decide is who you want to be.
You can design yourself and your life. You can make tweaks here and there. This is the power of a man. The power of action. It’s not necessary to settle for what you are when you can be more. Sure, each of us has limitations, but we can work around them and strengthen them. The point is to strive towards, not perfection but one step more than you are now. And then one step further and one step further.
The point is, that you are the one that identifies who you want to be and where you want to be going in your life. Yes, you will aim for one thing and over a period of time, the goal may change to something different, but it’s an organic process that comes from following the direction of your desires. There is a strength in this.
Don’t change for other people’s sake. This is weakness. Especially when it comes to a woman.
Song of the Sirens
Women can have a powerful effect on a man. I see time and time again, a strong alpha guy meets a woman and gets into a relationship with her. But instead of remaining the guy he was when he met her, he slowly melts and bends his personality and desires to fit her. Not only is the betraying himself, but his woman will lose attraction for him, also.
Don’t let this happen to you. Focus on who you are and who you want to be. Your primary focus in life is your mission, not your woman. She will respect and admire you for this, because although she may tell you she wants to be your number one, she doesn’t really want it. It’s like sirens calling to sailors to take them to their depths.
If you get into a relationship with a woman and she’s always saying that she wishes you were a little more like this or a little more like that, end the relationship. She doesn’t want you, she wants some other guy. Don’t worry, if you keep looking, you will find a girl who is completely happy with you just the way you are. This is the power of game. You don’t have to settle any more. You can have your cake and eat it. It just takes a little time and patience.
Ignore the Naysayers
If your parents don’t like who are, tell them that you’re a man now and you will to listen to you their advice, but in the end, you will choose your own path.
I know from my own experience, my mother had a strong influence on my growth and it wasn’t until I started to break free from her expectations that I came to feel like I was becoming a man. I knew I was on the right path when she started to behave really childishly, having tantrums and using emotional blackmail to try to bend me to her will. I just had to be assertive and say:
“No. This is who I want to be, and if it doesn’t coincide with who you want to be, that’s your problem. I am my own man.”
Often, when your friends see you growing and improving your life, they become scared of losing you or they become jealous of your successes and they try to drag you down back to your former level. I had one particular friend who I’d known for more than twenty years, but he couldn’t accept my growth.
He began to try to put me down verbally, he generally behaved in a very pathetic and condescending manner. At first I tried spending more time with him, then I tried to lift him up with me, but he just want to stay where he was; like a lead weight around my ankle, stopping me from rising. In the end, I had to sever the cord completely and let him sink from life. I’ve not spoken to him since.
If someone doesn’t like you for who you are, that’s their tough shit. Don’t change for anybody but yourself.