The topic of this post is very important, not only from a seduction perspective, but in terms of masculinity also.
I’ve said before that masculinity is the key to being attractive to women and to be a real leader you have to have a large number of the requisite masculine traits before you can ‘qualify to join the club’.
When I talk about masculine traits, what specifically would I include in the list?
- Definiteness of Purpose
- Self Esteem
- Self Development
- Experience with Women
I’m sure I could think of more. The good thing is, if you read through that list and thought “Hmm, I’m not very strong on that one”, you don’t need to worry. Each one is either a skill that you can learn or a trait that you can acquire through practice and experience.
Let’s Break it Down
As guys, we are very lucky because to become more attractive to women, we just have to put in some time and effort. For women it’s a lot harder. Young, beautiful, fit women will always be attractive to men, but youth, beauty and a hot body all fade with time and no amount of make-up, plastic surgery and gym sessions will sustain them.
So, why, and in what context is leadership important?
There are two contexts in which you can divide leadership:
- Leading yourself
- Leading others (including women)
To be able to lead others, you must also be able to lead yourself. If you can’t even lead yourself, why would other people trust you to lead them?
So what do I mean by ‘leading yourself’? It’s pretty simple. I’ll break it down:
- You have learned to overcome procrastination
- You are able to set and carry out plans or goals
- You are able to come to good decisions (without endless deliberation)
- You are decisive
- You are considerate of needs
- You respect yourself
I’ll go through these in more detail and give you some guidelines in how to implement them.
If you’re unable to overcome procrastination, you are living in fear. As I said above, masculine men and hence leaders are brave. They’re not going to rush into deadly situations but they’re also not going to let irrational fears stop them from proceeding in the direction that they choose.
If you find yourself procrastinating about putting into action a plan that you have made, you need to examine your emotions and find out where the fear lies. Once you examine this fear closely, you will inevitably discover that it is based upon a lie or a misconception. Uncovering the truth removes the fear and you can then take action immediately without delay.
An example in seduction would be to approach the girl. You get approach anxiety and spend a whole day procrastinating from stopping all the sweethearts that walk by.
You sit down to examine why and discover that you’re scared that the girl will reject you and make you feel bad.
You think about this and decide that in the long-run, the pleasure you’ll get from being able to meet and fuck hot girls will far outweigh the pain you may get from being rejected a few times by a stranger.
In its essence, leadership is about direction. Without a direction in which to travel, you cannot lead people along your route. The act of choosing a direction is called setting a goal. You aim for something and set off to reach it.
It could be as simple as choosing to go to the pub. It could be deciding to step out of your house. Either way, you make a decision and then you carry it out. Goal setting has to be paired with action, otherwise it becomes procrastination all over again.
A seduction-based example would include deciding to spend at least four hours walking the streets in the daytime on a Saturday and then making sure you do so. Another would be deciding to kiss a girl and then doing so. Decide and do.
The ability to make good decisions is important, because poor decision making can lead to disaster. This ability comes from exposure to two other things:
Experience and knowledge.
Knowledge is easy to acquire, especially in this data-age that we live in. Just be careful not to overload on it, as it is so easy just to read and read and never put the knowledge you have into action. Action is the key.
Experience is actually based on action. You have to take some form of action to have an experience and thus gain experience. In our case, the most valuable experiences are those in which we had to be brave and push our boundaries.
If you think in terms of seduction, you could stop a girl and decide to introduce yourself and then fondle her breasts. This will get you a slap and possibly a night in prison. You need to have knowledge that doing this to someone with whom you have no previous level of intimacy is not going to give a positive result. You need experience in escalating your level of physical contact with the girl to know when is the optimum and appropriate time to squeeze those lovely round tits.
In addition to being able to make good decisions, you must also be able to make them fairly quickly. If you have the experience and knowledge necessary, the decision should be obvious and the only thing that will make you deliberate over it will be fear.
Once again, we come back to procrastination (now you can see why I put it at the top of the list).
Being able to make a decision quickly is also known as decisiveness. At some point in your life it will be important for you to make a quick decision. It may save your life and those of the people you are leading. If you’ve made it a habit to be decisive and make quick decisions, when that moment comes, you’ll be ready for it.
Consideration for Needs
When it comes to leading yourself or others in a certain direction, you need to be considerate of your needs and the needs of the people you’re leading. You’re not going to be a good leader if the decision you make leads to harmful consequences for the people who decide to follow you.
If you make a decision to make a habit of injecting heroin on a regular basis, this is not being considerate to yourself. Not only is it a bad decision overall for your life, but it would be devastatingly harmful to your near and long-term future. You need to have consideration for your goals. Your goals were created to fulfil your needs.
The same goes for leading others, you need to be considerate of their needs. You need an understanding of what your followers want in life and be able to lead them in harmony. Obviously if their needs do not match yours, you should choose not to lead them, in which case your decision will be in consideration for them.
In a seduction context, you could be considerate for a woman’s desire for approval from her peers. This means not sticking your tongue down her throat and ripping her clothes off in public, because then other women will regard her to be a slut. You need to have discretion.
Without respect for yourself, nobody else is going to respect you. You need to genuinely like yourself for who you are.
This means acting in line with your beliefs and values.
It means liking yourself and being the kind of person who you’d like to be friends with.
When it comes down to it, you’re going to respect yourself more if you’re making goals and accomplishing them. If your life has meaning because you made some good decisions and took action to further yourself on your chosen path, you will have earned your own respect.
But you have to do it without compromising your core values. If you believe that killing people is bad, but you make decisions which cause people to lose their lives, you’re not going to respect yourself. Choose your philosophy of life and live by no matter what other people think.
As Arnold Schwarzenegger said in his six rules of life: “Ignore the naysayers”.
Do what you believe to be the right thing.
Be a Leader
If you’re reading this post because you’re trying to learn how to seduce women, I can’t recommend anything more than to learn to be a leader. If you can lead a woman, you will gain her trust and if you can do that, you won’t have to struggle to fuck her.
The fact is that women want to be lead. They hate responsibility and the more that they can offload the decision making process onto you, the more they’ll like you. That’s fine, because if you’re a real man, you thrive on the responsibility of making decisions anyway, and you do it without fear.
The same goes for masculinity in general. A properly masculine guy who lives and breaths the traits that I listed at the beginning of this post doesn’t need game.
If you’re that guy, you don’t make excuses, you have the balls to go for what you want and you don’t take shit from others. You’re not needy or desperate, in fact your whole life is great. A hot, sexy woman is just the filling in your cake, not the cake itself.
If you follow the guidelines above, you’ll be able to lead yourself and be able to lead others. But don’t ever stop, you can always improve yourself and striving to be better will make you happy.
Being idle and stagnating will kill you. Always be moving. If you’re moving you’re harder to hit.
If you’re always moving and improving, you will outrun your peers and get your rewards. You will be an inspiration for others.