In the real world, things are messy. They’re multi-levelled with many variables and convolutions.
The same is true of seducing women.
I’ve been interested in languages for a while now. I’m learning Mandarin Chinese at the moment. Before Chinese, I was studying Japanese (both for the purpose of meeting and talking to Asian girls).
When I was attempting to acquire proficiency in Japanese, I read a great book called How to Learn Any Language – Quickly, Easily, Inexpensively, Enjoyably and On Your Own by Barry Farber. Barry recommends that you attack a language from as many angles as possible. He said you should fully immerse yourself in the language by listening to audio courses, reading grammar and vocabulary books, watching films and listening to audio in the language of your choice.
For the most success in learning how to seduce women, you should do a similar thing.
Firstly (at least in the beginning), you should try to immerse yourself as much as possible. One thing that I noticed all of the really good Daygamers say is that their first couple of years were very intense. They either had no job and went out every day all day to game or like myself, they had a job and went out all day both weekend days. Once you have your skill level up, you can calm down a little, but immersion is a key element.
Secondly, you need to attack the problem from many angles. Here are five areas which you can work on simultaneously to increase the success rate you will have with women.
Get Better at Game
This is obvious really. To get better at seducing women, you need some game. There are plenty of different systems out there which will give you a framework to progress with. Daygame is one of them. You can find out why I personally do Daygame here.
For a beginner, I think it is important that you have a structure that you can follow. It’s like the training wheels (we call them stabilisers in the UK) you had on your bike when you were a kid. You learn to ride the bike with the stabilisers on, then when you have mastered the technique, you take them off and after a period of adjustment, you can ride on two wheels.
It’s the same with game. The structure of your seduction methodology (like for example, the Daygame Blueprint) is your training wheels, and when you can work through it from approach to fuck without thinking about it, it’s time to slowly drop it and become more natural.
Move To a Place Where There Are More Girls That You Like
When it comes down to it, any seduction philosophy involves a certain amount of chance. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar. Not every girl you meet will want to fuck you, no matter what super-powers you may possess. In essence it’s a numbers game, but the odds are weighted by the things I am discussing in this post.
As the odds of you getting laid increase with the number of girls you talk to, it can sometimes simply be a case of speaking to as many girls as you can before the inevitable happens. But you’re not attracted to all of the girls you see on the street.
So, the solution is to either go to a larger city in your country, maybe the capital city, where there is more choice of girls. Alternatively, go to a large city in a foreign country which has the girls you like.
In my case, I like Asian girls. There are almost none in my home city (Leicester in the UK), so I moved to London where there are many. Eventually when I’ve learned Chinese well enough and my business is doing sufficiently well, I’ll move to Shanghai, Beijing or some other large city in China.
In reality, you can dress however you want within reason and still have a good chance of getting a girl if you have covered the other areas in this post. But we’re all about incremental increase, so even a small improvement might improve your results dramatically.
I used to be a baggy jeans, t-shirt and trainers (sneakers) guy. In fact when I first started going out to meet girls, this is what I wore. What I noticed was that most of the girls who gave me their numbers tended to dress like me.
The problem was that I wanted girls who dressed a little bit more classily. The kind of girl who would shop at Zara for example; a feminine but smart style. So, I began to look around at current fashion trends and also looked at classic actors like Clarke Gable or James Stewart.
I decided a smart but casual style was the way to go and got myself a blazer (smart sports jacket), some slim fit jeans, a smart shirt and some shiny shoes. Now, I walk down the street and get IOIs (indicators of interest) from many girls who dress exactly the way I like them to.
There are a lot of good looking guys out there who don’t have any game and can get girls into bed just because of their looks and their physique.
Most PUAs aren’t that lucky though.
Many of us tend to be skinny and geeky looking, as we’re mostly the intelligent introverted type. This means that this area can give you a vast increase in your allure and attractiveness to women.
I have bad eyesight, I used to have really bad acne and I was really skinny without any muscles.
When I was in my late teens I went to the doctor about the acne and eventually after trying many different pills and creams, he put me on Roaccutane (Accutane). A course on these pills cured my acne for life.
I’m really short-sighted. I either have to wear glasses with really thick lenses or I have to wear contact lenses. I’ve been doing the latter since I was sixteen years old. When my business starts to make more money, I’m going to get laser treatment.
Over the last couple of years I’ve been sporadically going to the gym. I’m going more regularly now and am starting to fill out and gain more muscle, but already I am noticing more IOIs from women. It seems that just a small amount more muscle will raise you above the average and make a difference to those eagle-eyed women.
I was lucky to have a good dentist when I was a kid, so my teeth are straight, but for those of you who have crooked teeth, go to the dentist and get them sorted out. Don’t worry about having to wear a brace for a few months. It’s better to have to go through that than to live with fucked-up teeth.
Masculinity / Inner Game
When it comes to women, the most attractive thing a man can have is masculinity and self-confidence. This is the basis for all direct game seduction systems. No tricks or routines, just pure, honest masculinity.
You have to learn to be unapologetic about your desires. You have to know what you want in a woman and know how to deal with them. You have to be a guy who sets and achieves goals and is in a constant state of self-improvement. You need to be trying to improve your station in life and push your boundaries, facing fear head on.
Much of this can be learned from simply putting your balls on the line and going out to try and meet women, but there are many other ways of learning to embrace your masculinity:
Extreme sports, building a business, public speaking and travel are a small list of things that you can do to increase your confidence and make you feel like a man. The key is to examine your life and make a list of the things that scare you. Areas of your life that you are weak at and are constantly trying to avoid. Then one by one, push yourself to engage each of these things.
So, if you want to get better with women, don’t focus on just one thing; work on all of the above and you will soon notice that the rate of improvement in your results will increase dramatically.