Although I’ve been doing Daygame for a few years, when I have a break from it, I will still find that I’ve gotten rusty after I return. I don’t believe in completely dropping game at any point in your life. After all, once you’ve taken the red pill it is hard to go back. Repeated experiences with mini-relationships have given me the understanding that you must have options.
Relationships and game.
For the past few months I’ve been seeing one particular girl who has stood out from the rest. Sometimes you find one who just fits really well. I used to go out every Saturday and many Sundays to meet women on a strict basis, every week for years without fail. After meeting this girl, as she is from out of town and has to travel to see me, I gave up every other weekend to spend time with her, meaning that I had a lack of momentum on Approach Weekends and a lot less desire to actually go out and meet other women. About three or four weeks ago, she left the country to return home for the summer. I was happy with this as I could see my level dropping, plus I really don’t think I’m a one girl man. So, this is where I’ve been at since then.
Before meeting this girl, I’d regularly be farming around twenty numbers over a weekend and having four or five days twos per week. During the month that I met her, I banged her plus three other girls in the space of four weeks. The first weekend I went out after she left the UK, I got no numbers, the second weekend I got three, and last weekend I got six. I was rusty. If you’ve been doing this a while, the structure of a seduction is ingrained in your mind and you can just flow through on auto-pilot from the approach to the number close, even if you’ve been away. But your numbers will be bad quality. Girls won’t respond to your feeler texts.
The problem really is two-fold. Your game is not sharp and you’re not in the moment. So what approach do I take to getting back into shape with my game? The first thing to do is go back to basics. Everybody starts from the approach. As a beginner, you learn each part of the seduction process step-by-step, from the approach forwards. The same applies when you come back from a relationship, although your progression is quicker.
You start from the approach.
So, there are a number of things that make up an approach, which I’ve mentioned before. Make sure you have good posture and a clear voice. Ensure that you are the right distance away before stopping her, use an appropriate opener, make sure you are smiling before you approach. Another important aspect is good eye contact. What is good eye contact, when do you do it and how much?
I read a really good book during the knowledge-gathering phase of my development; How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships, by Leil Lowndes. There are many good pointers on how to socialise and communicate with people in this book, but one of the main things that stuck with me was a technique that she calls “Sticky Eyes”. She says that you should never take your eyes off the other person when they are talking and when you do, you should break contact very slowly, as if your eyes are stuck to the girl’s with chewing gum.
When I approach a girl, the first thing I do before I even put my hand up, or open my mouth to say my opener is to pick one of her eyes and begin to look very directly right into the pupil, as if I’m trying to look into her soul. Don’t squint! Then I stop her, deliver my opener and go through the assumption phase without breaking eye contact. It’s important to practice looking right into the pupil and then once you feel like you’re getting somewhere, you can use sticky eyes to slowly look away now and then. Don’t do it for too long at a time as it loses its effect and can become a little uncomfortable for her.
Once you’ve got your posture and eye contact right, with each approach you do, continue doing those correctly and make sure the other constituents of your approach are spot on. You’ll notice your approach has improved and you can go on to later parts of the seduction; the assumptions, stories, teasing and attraction, comfort, close or insta-date, etc. This leads us to the second part of this process of removing the mental cobwebs from your game, you must start to listen again.
When you’re concentrating on the minutiae of the structure of your game, you’re not really listening, you’re not in that flow-state that you need for a really good interaction. Once you’ve cleaned out your technique, you must let go of it and make sure you’re just focusing on being in the moment, being spontaneous, and above all, listening to what the girl is saying. You can get so much material to explore just by listening to what she says.
This will sharpen your attraction and story-telling skills and get your game back on track.