I’ve seen a lot of guys get really excited by the chance to rise above their Beta peers and actually get good with women, but it’s hard. If I were to take a guess, I’d say that more than 95% of the guys who start on this journey give up before they achieve their first lay.
So, let’s examine why this is and see what we can do about it.
Mental Strength.
At first, the real difficulty is overcoming the resistance your mind has to approaching a hot girl in the first place. Later on you also have to overcome emotional instability, but that post will come later. For now, you have to battle with your mind. But you don’t have to do it alone, and you don’t have to work it out yourself from scratch. The two main things that will help you get started approaching girls are:
- Get knowledge.
- Get a wing.
Knowledge.
It is important to know what you have to do to approach a girl. There is a list of items that you need to be doing to optimise your chances of a good response. Once you know what to do you can start approaching and put these steps into action. One example is good posture, another is good vocal tonality, another is keeping the correct distance, eye-contact, composure, etc, etc.
There are many different methods out there, but personally I prefer Daygame, for reasons that I will go into in another post. You don’t need to spend lots of money on a bootcamp. You can learn everything you need to know by watching their videos and reading this blog.
So once you know how to do an approach, you need to work up the nerve to do one.
Get a wing.
I know some people who managed to approach an attractive girl and attempt to seduce her on their own, but they are the exceptions. Not everybody has such mental strength when they first start, as the majority of the guys who try are still burdened by society’s expectations.
The solution is not to rely on just your own mind to overcome this anxiety, but to get someone else’s help.
There will be other guys about who also want to get good with women. Some at the same stage as you, some slightly advanced. You can find these guys and hang out with them. They can help push you into an approach. Trust me it works. This is how I managed to overcome fear of approach. I’ll discuss winging in another post, but what you need to do is get on a seduction forum and look for guys like you. There’s usually a section for people looking to find wings. Make a post. Try Daygame.com’s Cafe forum or try meetup.com.
Keep working.
Once you have done that first approach, do more. You can’t do anything unless you’ve been able to do it three times. This aversion to approaching hot chicks is a tricky son of a bitch. You have to keep working on it regularly else it slowly creeps back. When I started, I’d spend a whole day, Saturday and Sunday doing approach after approach. You must do this at first to desensitise yourself to rejection. After practicing a while you will find that most of the women you speak to will give you a good response, and the ones that don’t… Who cares!