The vast majority of guys who get good at game eventually get to a point where they meet a girl that they really like. So much so that even if they had previously made a solemn vow to remain a playboy for their remaining years, this girl makes them at least consider a return to monogamy.
I’ve been in relationships before learning game and I’ve been in relationships since learning game. With each girl that I spend time with, I’ve learned more about how to get what I want from the relationship.
With this article, I aim to spell out two things that I do now that I didn’t do before, which have made a massive impact on the quality of my relationships. In a future post I’ll go over a few of the others, but these are two of the most important.
The main problem that guys who are not regularly meeting and fucking new women have is a lack of abundance. “No shit”, you may say. And I agree with you because from the outside, it’s obvious.
If you don’t have a woman and you don’t have game, the answer is also obvious: Learn game.
However, if you learned some game and settled down into a monogamous relationship, your number one problem is how to keep that feeling of abundance.
Why is it so important?
Let me run a scenario past you. Answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
If you were in a relationship and for one reason or another, that relationship stopped right now and you never saw your woman again, would you be confident of being able to fuck one or more completely different women within one month?
If you answer ‘no’, you don’t have abundance.
If you answer ‘yes’, you do. Now, if you’re in a monogamous relationship, you’ve basically made an agreement, spoken or unspoken, with your woman that you will not sleep with or have romantic liaisons with other women. Can you see how making this agreement is like tying a noose around your neck, swinging the rope over a tree branch and giving the end to your woman?
If you don’t have abundance, you’re not in charge of the relationship, the woman is. If she knows or even senses that you don’t have access to other pussy, she’s going to make you pay for the pussy that you get from her, because all of a sudden, it’s a scarce resource. And whether they know it consciously or not, women know deep down that what we want most from them is regular sex.
So, what’s the solution? There are many.
Most guys faced with this situation just decide to live with it. They have no game nor any knowledge of the red pill so they think that their only option is to live in a world where pussy is a reward for expensive gifts, dinners at restaurants, holidays, marriages and children.
Some guys have less integrity and tell their women that they’re monogamous but in fact meet and fuck other girls on the side. These guys also have little or no game and either meet these girls by chance or pay for the pussy. Either way, these guys have absolutely no self-respect. Don’t let this be you.
Then there are guys who never become monogamous. They have game, they have pussy on demand and have plenty of abundance. This is a charmed life to live, but all of the guys I know of, or have read about who live like this complain of regular periods of burn-out or game-revulsion. They get sick of chasing pussy and have to spend a couple of months at a time away from game, doing something else entirely.
There is also Polygyny, but that’s so rare, that it’s like seeing a unicorn.
The final alternative is to see the woman monogamously and have some game, but keep that game sharp by still gaming other women. I don’t mean gaming other women, dating and fucking them. I just mean gaming them. Approach attractive women in your day-to-day life, run game on them and take their number. Maybe send the initiator text to make sure your game is good, but go no further.
This way, you are faithful to your woman, but you are keeping your skill-set fresh and you are getting enough validation from other women to know that if and when your relationship cracks apart, you have immediate options. You can even occasionally flirt with other attractive women when your own woman is present.
When you do this, she will often surprise you by picking up a new pair of semi-transparent underwear to tempt you with or even spontaneously unzipping you for a crafty blow-job in a semi-public place. Abundance is extremely important.
The second thing that you have to be in a relationship is the leader. In every relationship, there is always one person who is in charge. There is no democracy in relationships. Sure, the leader consults with with follower, but in the end, someone is always wearing the trousers. Make sure it’s you.
Here are some examples of things that you should be doing to ensure that you’re the one in charge, not her.
When she asks you where you want to go to eat, you tell her which restaurant. Picking a restaurant that she likes will please her, but you make the decision.
What will please her more is that she is relieved of the burden of having to make a decision. Women hate having to make decisions. They hate taking responsibility.
This is why part of learning to be a man is to make it normal to make decisions and be responsible for your life and to some extent, the life of your woman.
If she asks you what film you should go to see at the cinema together, tell her. She will probably have mentioned at some point that she likes the look of one film or another. You should have been listening and made a mental note. If you’re memory’s shit like mine, keep a notebook and write the name of the film down, so you can remember.
It doesn’t matter that you’re not necessarily going to see a film that you want to see, what matters is that you’re making the decision. And she’ll be extra passionate when the time comes for her to spread her legs later that night.
If you’re walking with her in the street, trying to get to some arbitrary location, you should never allow her to walk in front of you. Always keep her at your side or behind you. If she wanders in front, call her back. If she asks why, tell her “I’m in charge here” and hold her hand or her wrist.
The only time I let my women walk in front is when I tell her to. And that’s usually when she’s wearing a particularly nice skirt, so I can see the way her arse moves while she’s walking. And I tell her that. I like to see her blush.
Lead her physically as well as mentally. Put your palm in the small of her back and push her softly to direct her where you want her to go. Occasionally hold her elbow when you cross the road. Don’t overdo the physicality, be laid back. Just show her that you have concern for her welfare and that you’re there to lead her safely to wherever it is that you’re going to.
Lead her in the bedroom. When you’re tired of one position and want to do something else, move her or tell her to move. If you want to do the missionary position, put your hands between her thighs and spread her legs. If you want to change to doggy style, grab her legs, twist her over on to her belly and tell her to get on all fours. If you want her to suck your cock, push down on her shoulders and tell her to get down on her knees.
You’re leading. She is following.
These two things will make a relationship a lot more pleasant. Try them and you’ll see.