When you get more experienced as a womaniser, other guys start to notice and you begin to receive requests for instruction.
The first few times this happened, I was happy to invite whomever asked to come out and sarge with me. This has become a bit more tricky recently, as the amount of free time that I have has become surpassed by the number of requests that I have, so I started charging. I guess that makes me a dating coach, although it was never the intention. I still have a full-time job and a business that I’m working on in my spare time, in addition to teaching guys how to pick up girls. I write this blog as well.
I sometimes wish I had 36 hours in a day instead of 24.
Anyway, I was thinking about the different guys that I’ve taught. I was comparing in my mind the ones who have begun to get success with the ones who have not. When it came down to it, there was really only one thing that divided them.
Their mental feedback.
One set of guys often said stuff like this to me:
“I can’t see any girls that I like”,
“I can’t approach girls in a shop / in a cafe / at a bus-stop / wherever”,
“I talked to her but I couldn’t think of anything to say”,
“I’m just not good-looking enough to talk to her”.
The other set of guys said stuff like this:
“I did a Yad stop on her but I think I got too close so she freaked out a bit”,
“Every time I approach a girl, I find it easier to think of assumptions to make about her”,
“I’ll get it right next time”,
“I’ll be okay, I just need to put a bit more practice in”.
Guess which group have given up on Daygame altogether and just sit about in their underpants on a Saturday, playing Xbox? Guess which group is meeting and number-closing hot girls on a Saturday, then going on dates with them and having sex with them? You guessed right. The first group of guys is getting nowhere and the second group of guys is getting everything they ever wanted in terms of success with women.
The guys who are getting laid give themselves positive feedback and have a problem solving attitude.
The guys who are getting nowhere are always looking at the downside and expect other people to solve their problems.
Take Responsibility For Yourself
One of the factors that define a man is his willingness to take total responsibility for everything that happens in his life:
- Car broken down? My fault for failing to get it serviced.
- Got sacked for being late too often? My fault for not waking up early enough.
- Overweight? My fault for eating too much crap.
- Not been laid in five years? My fault for not talking to any girls.
- Want to get rich? My responsibility to start a business.
- Want a better job? My responsibility to learn the requisite skills.
Once you take responsibility for the areas of your life that you want to improve, you feel empowered. Maybe you’re a little scared at first because you’re used to having your hand held by your mother or any of the surrogate mothers that you’ve picked up in your life. Taking responsibility means that if you want to achieve something, you have to figure out how to do it and then put in the work.
Winning Mindset and Positive Feedback
When you start doing the work, if you keep giving yourself reasons why you can’t achieve it, you will just give up. If you give yourself a goal to reach and your mind starts giving you crap, just say to yourself, “Fuck that, I know I can do it. I believe in myself.” Clear your mind and imagine yourself achieving your goal. Say to yourself, “I can do it. It might be hard but I can do it anyway.” Then stand up and get to work.
This is the way winners think.
It may take a while, because ever since we’ve been alive we’ve had people telling us why we can’t do something or that we’re in some way not good enough to achieve something. Don’t believe all that crap. Watch your mind and every time you find yourself thinking of a reason why you can’t do something, blast it away and give yourself a reason why you can do it.
When you eventually reach whatever goal you’ve been striving towards, give yourself a pat on the back. Literally. Reach round and pat yourself on the back. Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes, smile and say, “Good job Your Name. You’re fucking awesome.” I’ve been doing this stuff for so long now that it’s just normal for me. This is the way I live.
How To Solve Problems And Achieve Your Goals
Part of the winning mindset is to have a problem-solving attitude. Once you’ve taken responsibility for solving a problem or reaching a goal in your life, you need to work out how to do it. Anybody with any sense uses the scientific method:
- Ask a Question.
- Do Background Research.
- Construct a Hypothesis.
- Test Your Hypothesis by Doing an Experiment.
- Analyse Your Data and Draw a Conclusion.
So, let’s say you’ve got a problem; you get a girl’s number but she doesn’t reply to your feeler text.
Question: “Why doesn’t the girl reply to my text even though she gave me her number?”
Research: You go on the internet, buy a pickup book or read a blog like this one. You find out that most flakey numbers are caused by too much attraction (trying too hard) or too much comfort and rapport (friend zone).
Hypothesis: You analyse your current game against a model of what “good game” is. You see that you’re doing no teasing, you’re complimenting the girl too much and you’re being very friendly with all the girls you talk to. You decide to modify your game over the next two or three weeks and compare the results. You will listen carefully to what each girl is saying when she’s talking. You decide if anything she’s said is something that you would tease your friend about if he said it. Then you call her out on whatever it is.
Experiment: You go out on the street for a day and talk to twenty girls. One girl says how she loves One Direction. You crack up and tell her “I don’t think I’ll be coming round your house for a drink if you’re going to playing that rubbish.” Another girl is wearing Wellington boots in the middle of summer. You look up at the clear sky and the sun beating down, then you point upwards and say “Expecting rain?”, then you look down at her Wellies and back up to her eyes. At the end of the day, you’ve managed to get four numbers. You text them and get two replies to your feeler texts.
Analysis: You look at your results and see that making one small change to your game has increased the solidity of your results.
You can solve every problem that you have using the scientific method. You can achieve any goal by using these steps.
So to emphasise my point again: If you want to be successful, not just with women, but with life in general, you must give yourself positive feedback and you must have a problem solving attitude. Everything else comes from that.