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End Of An Era

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Shanghai

Well, it finally happened.

When I posted this in January, I knew it would happen at some point, but I didn’t know when. In the end it was her that called it off, but as usual with these things, the timing wasn’t so great.

I met her in November 2013, whilst sarging in Covent Garden with a friend of mine. I was working on building a rotation at the time and that month I was on top of my form. I’d banged four girls during the same four week period and she was the last in that run.

In fact, I didn’t expect to see her again as she was only visiting London for the weekend because she was studying at a University hundreds of miles northwards, in Lancaster. After number closing her that Saturday, I almost didn’t even meet with her because I took more than ten girls numbers that day and was getting good responses from my initial pings. I only sent her a text her on the Sunday morning because one of the three girls I had stacked dates for that day flaked on me. Good job she did as well, as we liked each other so much that I spent the next twenty months with her and was monogamous with her for twelve of those.

That Sunday, I was running pretty much textbook game. I met her at a flower market in Hoxton, gave a valid time constraint (due to having two other dates later that day) and had coffee with her in an awful cafe there. I walked her around Haggerston Park and the little Farm Zoo they have there and then kissed her in another park after grabbing some fruit from a supermarket. I distinctly remember asking her if I tasted of apple after playing tongue twister with her.

Anyway, I didn’t expect anything to come of it as I had the other two dates to go to and they looked much more promising. After all, I was expecting this girl to be leaving London in the next few hours and really, I was just using her to have a little fun and spend some of my time before my other dates. So it was to my surprise that I got a text message from her later that evening asking if I was free.

I knew exactly what that meant, so I told her that I was tired from a busy day and that she should come to the tube station nearest to me so I could show her my flat. Any fool knows what that means. Also, at the time I was living opposite Tooting Broadway station, near the far southern end of the Northern Line (my logistics were shit at that point) and it must have been at least 15 stops, or 45 minutes on the Tube from where she was. As it was late evening, that meant that she was at serious risk of missing the last train back to her hotel if she came to visit me, but she came anyway.

We both knew what was going to happen, but I seduced her anyway, as that’s what a girl wants. To be seduced skillfully. And she liked it enough that she surprised me again, by asking to come back down to see me a couple of weeks later. And she came down every two or three weeks for the next twenty months, except when she went back home to China during the holidays.

I’d always wanted to visit China, ever since my Dad brought home videos of Bruce Lee films when was a kid. It was one of the reasons I chose to practice Kung Fu as my first martial art, despite The Karate Kid being one of my favourite films of all time. When I started to learn Daygame in Nottingham in 2011, there had been an influx of Chinese students, so during term-time there were a lot of them around. I quickly realised how much I love Asian women and I fucked more than a dozen of these Chinese sweethearts before I left Nottingham to move to London.

So this year I decided that it was time to stop making excuses and actually visit China. I decided to go to Shanghai and Beijing, those being the largest cities in the country.

As my woman was back home for the summer holidays, I also invited her to come and spend my holiday with me. She knows both cities well and I thought she would make a great tour-guide; one thing that I’ve learned women love to do. She’s a great girl and right up to the day before I got on the plane to China, she was sending me provocative semi-naked pictures to remind me of her (this is something I recommend you get your women to do – they love showing you how sexy they are and it makes them like you more). So I was surprised when after she met me at the airport, she was a little cold. Not very communicative during the journey to the hostel that I’m staying in.

When we eventually got to the private room with the double bed that we were supposed to be sharing, she said “I have something to tell you” and I knew exactly what was coming.

So, after she explained her reasoning for the break-up, I gave her a hug and said goodbye forever. She’s quit her degree course in the UK. I’m not as bothered as I might have been though. I’ve had less important relationships in the past that took me more than a year to get over, but not anymore. Sure, I feel a little sad now and then when I think about her, how can I not? I’m not made of stone. But I’m experienced enough now to know that relationships end. Whether you know the person for a couple of days, a couple of years or a couple of decades.

One of the sayings attributed to the Historical Buddha is “Everything that arises, also passes away”. When you keep that in mind, it’s hard to be sad at the end of a relationship.

The way I like to think of it, and the way that I explain it to all of the girls I date is that I think of relationships as ships or boats. For a while, two ships will sail side-by-side following the same course, but they eventually separate to reach their destinations. That’s the way I like to think about it.

There are other positives of course; it also marks my return to regular sarging, which I will go into in my next post.

It’s About The Process, Not The Goal

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17

I’m working on a business during my spare time. It takes up the majority of the free hours that I have when I’m not working at my slave job, sleeping, eating or doing seduction-related activities. I’ve been working at it really hard for weeks now but haven’t really seen any discernable results yet. There have been times when I’ve thought to myself,

“Is it really worth it? Why don’t you just relax and chill out instead or working your arse off for nothing?”

But then I remember the lesson that game taught me.

When I first started learning Daygame, there were many times when I felt exactly the same way. I’d go out at the weekend to talk to girls but almost every one I spoke to had a boyfriend (so they said) or was really busy and in a rush to get somewhere. I’d be traipsing around the streets for hours on end and often think to myself,

“Is it really worth it? Why don’t you just chill out, go home and wank off to some porn? Who needs to fuck real women anyway?”

But then I looked back over my life at the years of frustration. I looked back and saw that lack of sex. The inability to meet women that I wanted to meet, not whoever I met by chance or desperation. And I said to myself,

“Fuck that. I’m not going back to that. I’m going to work my arse off until I get what I want and I’m NOT GOING TO STOP, EVER.”

So, I went out every Saturday and every Sunday, rain or shine and talked to woman after woman. I slowly got better. The progress was so slow that at the time I seemed to be going nowhere fast. I felt like I was walking on a treadmill. But looking back now, I can see the gradual improvement. The small victories. I’d pick myself up from the setbacks and continuing on regardless.

At the time though, all I could think of was the goal. To meet a girl on the street and use my skill to get her back home and fuck her. Then be able to do that consistently and build myself a rotation of girls that I could fuck, so I’d never have to go without sex ever again.

But I was still treading the streets and that goal seemed like an impossible dream. I put myself under such a lot of pressure. I felt like I was going to go mad sometimes.

Then one small shift in my mindset changed it all.

Instead of focussing on the goal, I focussed on the process.

Get A Map And Break The Journey Into Pieces

I still had the goal in mind, but I wasn’t reaching for it all the time. I knew that I was walking along a road, at the end of which was sex with hot girls. I didn’t know how far I’d have to walk to get there, but I knew that if I walked for long enough I’d eventually get there. I also knew what I’d encounter on my journey because I had a map.

My map was the Daygame Blueprint.

So I concentrated on one section of the journey at a time. I knew that other guys before me had followed the blueprint and achieved their goals. I knew that if just worked on it for long enough, I’d be able to replicate their success. So I concentrated on the process.

Each section of the blueprint is a skill in itself and if you go out on the street and practice it on girls, you will get results. You can analyse the results, go out again and refine your understanding. Refine your ability to implement that section of the blueprint until you begin to get the results you’re looking for.

When you reach that point, it’s like you’ve walked a hundred miles but not even noticed it. Because all you were doing was concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other.

You keep on doing that and eventually you have mastered each of the sections of the blueprint in order. Then, BOOM! You just laid a hot girl. And you can repeat your results over and over because you know the process.

The Lessons You Learn From Game Apply To The Rest Of Your Life

That’s what’s keeping me going with my business. Other people have made serious money from the business model that I’m following. It’s a passive income business model, so my goal is to make enough money from it to be able to quit my slave job. This will give me the freedom to live my life on my own terms. On my wall in a place where I look regularly, I have a piece of paper on which I wrote in capital letters:

MAIN GOAL – PRIORITY #1

  • FREEDOM
    • TO BE ABLE TO GO WHERE I WANT TO GO, DO WHAT I WANT TO DO, WHEN I WANT TO DO IT
    • TO ANSWER ONLY TO MYSELF

That’s the goal, but I’m focussing on the process. I bought a course which explains the blueprint of the business model. All I need to do is to put in continuous effort and follow the process. I know that I’ll achieve my goal.

Then I guess I’ll set another one.

Are You A Theory Junkie?

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When I first discovered the world of seduction in 2005, there wasn’t much information about. I downloaded a couple of David DeAngelo books, a couple of his video courses and a set of his ‘Interviews with Dating Gurus’ CDs. I watched, read and listened to them all several times. The problem with DeAngelo is that all his material is about ‘how to be attractive to girls’ and he gives very little information about the mechanics of approaching girls and actually seducing them.

It’s obvious now that he’s just a marketing genius and never really had any skills to begin with. Anybody seen a David DeAngelo approach video? No? I thought not.

It wasn’t all bad though, because his material is very good for inner game. Once you know what it is about guys that attracts women, you have a goal to work towards. Coincidentally, the majority of the qualities that men who are attractive to women have are those linked to high levels of masculinity. Thus, we can see that becoming a masculine guy is part of the process in your goal of becoming a guy who can seduce women. The other part encompasses the mechanics and techniques of initiating and cultivating an interaction with a hot girl, which leads to sex.

So, I was working on my inner game but I still had no idea how to meet attractive girls.

In actual fact it’s very easy. You see a hot girl and you walk up to her and say “Hi”.

Of course, when you’re starting out, the thought of actually approaching a girl is the last thing to cross your mind. There must be techniques! There must be tricks! You have to see a ‘Seduction Guru’ approach a girl in the street, right in front of your own eyes, before you can even begin to consider it to be anything other than totally impossible.

Theory Junkie

So, just like almost every other guy who begins their seduction journey, I looked for more information. I found the Mystery Method! I bought some nail polish and painted half my finger nails black and the other half white. I travelled to the city centre at the weekend at around lunchtime, went up to a random girl and said,

“Excuse me, I was just looking for an opinion. Which colour looks best on my nails? Black or white?”

The girl looked at me like I was a bit weird. She started edging away from me, made an excuse and scurried off. I tried it on another couple of girls with similar results.

“Fuck this shit. It doesn’t work. And I feel fucking gay”, I thought.

So I did more reading and found Shark‘s ‘Playboy Lifestyle’ and ‘Attract & Date’ CDs. He scorned the idea of peacocking and asking girls for opinions. He said, “Go up to the girl and tell her you like her”. Playboy Lifestyle was more oriented to clubs, so I went out to clubs but I would just wander around and not talk to girls. It seemed to me that a club is designed to do two things:

  1. Extract as much money from you as possible in the form of highly priced, watered down booze.
  2. Make it as hard as possible for you to meet and talk to girls, hence making you buy more booze, to get what we English call ‘Dutch Courage‘.

Luckily, the Attract & Date CDs seemed a bit more flexible. The material actually applied to daytime pickup in the street. The problem was, it consisted of eight CDs. I did actually listen to them many times over. I went out consistently, every Saturday for almost a year, trying to make myself go up to a hot girl and tell her,

“I like you and I want to get to know you.”

I never succeeded. But even if I had done, I wouldn’t have known what to do next. The only component of the structure of a pickup that Shark talks about is the approach. He explains all about how society forces you from your childhood to be a slave and a worker-bee. He also gives all sorts of missions to accomplish to supposedly break you free from society’s chains. I guess they helped me strengthen my inner game, but I still wasn’t approaching girls and that meant that I wasn’t getting laid either.

I actually travelled to Zagreb in Croatia for a bootcamp with Shark in 2008 after a year of failed approach attempts. He took me and a couple of other guys out on the streets and into the bars of Zagreb and made us approach girls. It was such a wonderful feeling! Shark is actually a really good approach coach and I ended up getting two dates during my weekend in Croatia’s capital city. However, the less said about his new-age spiritualist ideas, the better.

So, I returned to London thinking that I was cured of Approach Anxiety and eager to get out on the streets to apply what I’d learned. Then I was struck down by the ‘flu and had to lie in bed for a week to recover. Much to my surprise, after my recuperation, I was unable to approach women again. It was the same old mental block and the washing machine feeling in my stomach. During my week in bed, the excuses had returned. I kept trying for a bit but then gave up and then retreated to seduction forums.

Forum Junkie

On the forums I was a master seducer, drawing on my extensive knowledge of game theory to create expansive stories of my feats of seduction. Feats which were by no means duplicated in real life. I gave wonderful advice to other people who were also struggling, but it was advice that I wasn’t even following myself. This went on for months until I was forced to give up seduction by being made redundant from my job. That mean that I had to go back to University to retrain for a job in a more recession-proof industry.

It’s more than seven years later now and I’ve actually managed to learn how to seduce women. I have thousands of approaches under my belt. However, I go on forums now and see guys who are just like I was. I can tell a mile off whether someone is a theory junkie or whether they’re talking from experience. My advice to you is to avoid theory and just take as much action as you can.

Now that the seduction scene has matured, there are actual frameworks that you can adopt. You can follow them step-by-step and if you practice enough, you will go from never having approached a girl before to having sexual freedom, within a matter of months. Daygame is one such method. I’ll admit that I’m not familiar with all the others, but I’m sure there are alternatives out there if you wish to look.

Let me give you a couple of pieces of advice:

  • Once you find a method that suits your personality, forget everything else and just concentrate on that.
  • Don’t overload yourself with information. Try and assimilate only the information that is relevant to you at that particular moment. For example, there’s no point in you knowing how to kino-escalate on a woman if you can’t even approach yet. Concentrate on the approach. The same applies to each step of the seduction process. It’s a ladder. You can only climb one rung at a time.

In the end, after I finished University and decided that I wanted to get back out there and really learn this seduction thing, one event changed everything for me. I went on a forum and found someone who lived in my city who also wanted to go out and learn how to meet women. We met up and forced each other to approach girls. We did it every weekend for months until we could actually get numbers, go on dates and fuck these women. Bootcamps are okay, but constant progress is made by taking action consistently over a long period of time.

Don’t sit in front of a computer all the time, reading theory. Get out of your house, get your feet on the street and start saying “Hi” to some hotties.

How To Start And Sustain A Conversation With A Girl

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Me

This article is a follow-up to ‘Never Run Out Of Things To Say‘, which I wrote a few weeks ago. Click the link to read it, however the long and short of it was that if you have travelled a lot and you meet a girl from a place that you’ve been to, you’ll have plenty to talk about.

The problem that most blue-pill guys have is that they don’t know how to have an interesting conversation with a girl. They might summon the balls to go and talk a girl, but after a minute of pleasant chit-chat, she will make an excuse and wander off, never to be seen again. To be able to have a stimulating conversation is one of the key skills a guy should learn to keep a girl interested.

Maybe you’re a really social guy and conversation comes naturally to you. Bully for you, but you’re in a minority. It’s more likely that you stumble through conversations with the girls that you approach.  You often eject from interactions because you can’t think of anything to say. If this happens to you quite a lot, then this article will solve your problems.

Questions, Questions, Questions

The issue is that you’re asking too many questions. This is okay in moderation, but if your conversation consists entirely of questions, the girl is going to get tired of being interviewed by you and leave. If all you do is ask her questions, you’ve got two dilemmas:

Firstly, you appear to have nothing to say. When you first meet a girl, you can’t expect her to carry the conversation by doing all of the talking. If you’re just asking her questions, you’re trying to force her to make more of an effort than you. Until you’ve convinced her that she wants to get to know you, she isn’t going to want to put any effort into the interaction. She just wants to get rid of you so she can continue with her shopping. So she’ll give you a number, be it real or fake to get rid of you. Either that, or she’ll just make some excuse and walk away.

Secondly, you appear needy. If all you’re doing is asking questions, you’re sucking value from her. You’re an energy-sucking vampire. Nobody wants to spend time with an energy-sucking vampire. They want to spent time with someone who gives them energy and makes them feel good. A girl will gravitate to you if you’re not needy and you’re giving her value.

So, how do you do it properly? Well, I hinted at the solution in ‘Never Run Out Of Things To Say’. You have to do the talking. At least at the beginning while she’s still unsure of whether she really wants to be spending her time talking to you or not.

You Do The Talking

After you’ve been through the assumption stacking phase of the Daygame Blueprint, you will have a topic of conversation. Let’s say you told the girl that she looks like she’s from somewhere in the Mediterranean because she’s got dark hair, she has tanned skin and she’s wearing a pair of those massive Italian sunglasses that make her look like she’s hiding a pair of black eyes.

She will probably laugh and say that yes, she’s from Greece. Boom! That’s your topic of conversation.

This is the magic trick:

You make a statement about what she said. Either that, or you make a statement and then you ask a question.

So the conversation used to be something like this:

Her: “I’m from Greece.”

You: “What’s Greece like?”

Her: “It’s okay.”

You: “Um, bye!”

After implementing the magic trick, the conversation becomes something like this:

Her: “I’m from Greece.”

You: “Ah Greece. I’ve never been there before but I heard that the weather is super-nice and sunny, the men are really fat and ugly and the women are very sexy and feminine.”

Her: “Yes, I love the weather in my country. England is so grey and rainy all the time.”

You: “It’s not so bad. We do have a really short summer here. All the English guys try to make the most of it by taking off their shirts and wandering around topless. The problem is we’re so white that a day in the sun turns us red like beetroots and we spend the rest of the summer recovering from sunburn.”

Her: “Haha! That’s funny.”

You: “I guess you’ll be staying indoors during the summer. Seeing so many topless guys will make you horny all the time. Do you prefer Greek guys or English guys?”

Her: “I think English guys are more charming and sweet.”

You: “Maybe some of them, but behind our sweet exterior is a passionate interior.”

Listen And Make Statements

You can see how the conversation continues from here. You’re taking what she said and running with it. In addition, you’re being a bit cheeky and turning the conversation in a sexual direction. You’re pushing the frame to be fun and flirty, not boring and formal. This is what makes the girl want to go on a date with you after you take her number.

If you find yourself interviewing her, stop right now!

Use the conversational thread she gives you. Search your memory for something related to what she said and tell her about it. If you can’t think of anything, make something up. In the example above, I’d never been to Greece, so I made up three things about her country and told her them. They that could be right or wrong, who cares? She’ll make a comment about what you said and that will give you another thread to make a statement about.

As long as you’re listening, you’ll never run out of things to say.

Once you’ve got the statement / statement-question conversational skill practiced and internalised, you can start to throw in attraction. This is when your interactions will skyrocket. Attraction is the spice in a conversational stew. But I’ll leave that article for another day.

Go out and practice!

Positive Self-Feedback

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Pat On The Back

When you get more experienced as a womaniser, other guys start to notice and you begin to receive requests for instruction.

The first few times this happened, I was happy to invite whomever asked to come out and sarge with me. This has become a bit more tricky recently, as the amount of free time that I have has become surpassed by the number of requests that I have, so I started charging. I guess that makes me a dating coach, although it was never the intention. I still have a full-time job and a business that I’m working on in my spare time, in addition to teaching guys how to pick up girls. I write this blog as well.

I sometimes wish I had 36 hours in a day instead of 24.

Anyway, I was thinking about the different guys that I’ve taught. I was comparing in my mind the ones who have begun to get success with the ones who have not. When it came down to it, there was really only one thing that divided them.

Their mental feedback.

One set of guys often said stuff like this to me:

“I can’t see any girls that I like”,

“I can’t approach girls in a shop / in a cafe / at a bus-stop / wherever”,

“I talked to her but I couldn’t think of anything to say”,

“I’m just not good-looking enough to talk to her”.

The other set of guys said stuff like this:

“I did a Yad stop on her but I think I got too close so she freaked out a bit”,

“Every time I approach a girl, I find it easier to think of assumptions to make about her”,

“I’ll get it right next time”,

“I’ll be okay, I just need to put a bit more practice in”.

Guess which group have given up on Daygame altogether and just sit about in their underpants on a Saturday, playing Xbox? Guess which group is meeting and number-closing hot girls on a Saturday, then going on dates with them and having sex with them? You guessed right. The first group of guys is getting nowhere and the second group of guys is getting everything they ever wanted in terms of success with women.

The guys who are getting laid give themselves positive feedback and have a problem solving attitude.

The guys who are getting nowhere are always looking at the downside and expect other people to solve their problems.

Take Responsibility For Yourself

One of the factors that define a man is his willingness to take total responsibility for everything that happens in his life:

  • Car broken down? My fault for failing to get it serviced.
  • Got sacked for being late too often? My fault for not waking up early enough.
  • Overweight? My fault for eating too much crap.
  • Not been laid in five years? My fault for not talking to any girls.
  • Want to get rich? My responsibility to start a business.
  • Want a better job? My responsibility to learn the requisite skills.

Once you take responsibility for the areas of your life that you want to improve, you feel empowered. Maybe you’re a little scared at first because you’re used to having your hand held by your mother or any of the surrogate mothers that you’ve picked up in your life. Taking responsibility means that if you want to achieve something, you have to figure out how to do it and then put in the work.

Winning Mindset and Positive Feedback

When you start doing the work, if you keep giving yourself reasons why you can’t achieve it, you will just give up. If you give yourself a goal to reach and your mind starts giving you crap, just say to yourself, “Fuck that, I know I can do it. I believe in myself.” Clear your mind and imagine yourself achieving your goal. Say to yourself, “I can do it. It might be hard but I can do it anyway.” Then stand up and get to work.

This is the way winners think.

It may take a while, because ever since we’ve been alive we’ve had people telling us why we can’t do something or that we’re in some way not good enough to achieve something. Don’t believe all that crap. Watch your mind and every time you find yourself thinking of a reason why you can’t do something, blast it away and give yourself a reason why you can do it.

When you eventually reach whatever goal you’ve been striving towards, give yourself a pat on the back. Literally. Reach round and pat yourself on the back. Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes, smile and say, “Good job Your Name. You’re fucking awesome.” I’ve been doing this stuff for so long now that it’s just normal for me. This is the way I live.

How To Solve Problems And Achieve Your Goals

Part of the winning mindset is to have a problem-solving attitude. Once you’ve taken responsibility for solving a problem or reaching a goal in your life, you need to work out how to do it. Anybody with any sense uses the scientific method:

  • Ask a Question.
  • Do Background Research.
  • Construct a Hypothesis.
  • Test Your Hypothesis by Doing an Experiment.
  • Analyse Your Data and Draw a Conclusion.

So, let’s say you’ve got a problem; you get a girl’s number but she doesn’t reply to your feeler text.

Question: “Why doesn’t the girl reply to my text even though she gave me her number?”

Research: You go on the internet, buy a pickup book or read a blog like this one. You find out that most flakey numbers are caused by too much attraction (trying too hard) or too much comfort and rapport (friend zone).

Hypothesis:  You analyse your current game against a model of what “good game” is. You see that you’re doing no teasing, you’re complimenting the girl too much and you’re being very friendly with all the girls you talk to. You decide to modify your game over the next two or three weeks and compare the results. You will listen carefully to what each girl is saying when she’s talking. You decide if anything she’s said is something that you would tease your friend about if he said it. Then you call her out on whatever it is.

Experiment: You go out on the street for a day and talk to twenty girls. One girl says how she loves One Direction. You crack up and tell her “I don’t think I’ll be coming round your house for a drink if you’re going to playing that rubbish.” Another girl is wearing Wellington boots in the middle of summer. You look up at the clear sky and the sun beating down, then you point upwards and say “Expecting rain?”, then you look down at her Wellies and back up to her eyes. At the end of the day, you’ve managed to get four numbers. You text them and get two replies to your feeler texts.

Analysis: You look at your results and see that making one small change to your game has increased the solidity of your results.

You can solve every problem that you have using the scientific method. You can achieve any goal by using these steps.

So to emphasise my point again: If you want to be successful, not just with women, but with life in general, you must give yourself positive feedback and you must have a problem solving attitude. Everything else comes from that.