MortPUA

It’s About The Process, Not The Goal

By 2 Comments

17

I’m working on a business during my spare time. It takes up the majority of the free hours that I have when I’m not working at my slave job, sleeping, eating or doing seduction-related activities. I’ve been working at it really hard for weeks now but haven’t really seen any discernable results yet. There have been times when I’ve thought to myself,

“Is it really worth it? Why don’t you just relax and chill out instead or working your arse off for nothing?”

But then I remember the lesson that game taught me.

When I first started learning Daygame, there were many times when I felt exactly the same way. I’d go out at the weekend to talk to girls but almost every one I spoke to had a boyfriend (so they said) or was really busy and in a rush to get somewhere. I’d be traipsing around the streets for hours on end and often think to myself,

“Is it really worth it? Why don’t you just chill out, go home and wank off to some porn? Who needs to fuck real women anyway?”

But then I looked back over my life at the years of frustration. I looked back and saw that lack of sex. The inability to meet women that I wanted to meet, not whoever I met by chance or desperation. And I said to myself,

“Fuck that. I’m not going back to that. I’m going to work my arse off until I get what I want and I’m NOT GOING TO STOP, EVER.”

So, I went out every Saturday and every Sunday, rain or shine and talked to woman after woman. I slowly got better. The progress was so slow that at the time I seemed to be going nowhere fast. I felt like I was walking on a treadmill. But looking back now, I can see the gradual improvement. The small victories. I’d pick myself up from the setbacks and continuing on regardless.

At the time though, all I could think of was the goal. To meet a girl on the street and use my skill to get her back home and fuck her. Then be able to do that consistently and build myself a rotation of girls that I could fuck, so I’d never have to go without sex ever again.

But I was still treading the streets and that goal seemed like an impossible dream. I put myself under such a lot of pressure. I felt like I was going to go mad sometimes.

Then one small shift in my mindset changed it all.

Instead of focussing on the goal, I focussed on the process.

Get A Map And Break The Journey Into Pieces

I still had the goal in mind, but I wasn’t reaching for it all the time. I knew that I was walking along a road, at the end of which was sex with hot girls. I didn’t know how far I’d have to walk to get there, but I knew that if I walked for long enough I’d eventually get there. I also knew what I’d encounter on my journey because I had a map.

My map was the Daygame Blueprint.

So I concentrated on one section of the journey at a time. I knew that other guys before me had followed the blueprint and achieved their goals. I knew that if just worked on it for long enough, I’d be able to replicate their success. So I concentrated on the process.

Each section of the blueprint is a skill in itself and if you go out on the street and practice it on girls, you will get results. You can analyse the results, go out again and refine your understanding. Refine your ability to implement that section of the blueprint until you begin to get the results you’re looking for.

When you reach that point, it’s like you’ve walked a hundred miles but not even noticed it. Because all you were doing was concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other.

You keep on doing that and eventually you have mastered each of the sections of the blueprint in order. Then, BOOM! You just laid a hot girl. And you can repeat your results over and over because you know the process.

The Lessons You Learn From Game Apply To The Rest Of Your Life

That’s what’s keeping me going with my business. Other people have made serious money from the business model that I’m following. It’s a passive income business model, so my goal is to make enough money from it to be able to quit my slave job. This will give me the freedom to live my life on my own terms. On my wall in a place where I look regularly, I have a piece of paper on which I wrote in capital letters:

MAIN GOAL – PRIORITY #1

  • FREEDOM
    • TO BE ABLE TO GO WHERE I WANT TO GO, DO WHAT I WANT TO DO, WHEN I WANT TO DO IT
    • TO ANSWER ONLY TO MYSELF

That’s the goal, but I’m focussing on the process. I bought a course which explains the blueprint of the business model. All I need to do is to put in continuous effort and follow the process. I know that I’ll achieve my goal.

Then I guess I’ll set another one.

Are You A Theory Junkie?

By 3 Comments

shutterstock_877423_crop

When I first discovered the world of seduction in 2005, there wasn’t much information about. I downloaded a couple of David DeAngelo books, a couple of his video courses and a set of his ‘Interviews with Dating Gurus’ CDs. I watched, read and listened to them all several times. The problem with DeAngelo is that all his material is about ‘how to be attractive to girls’ and he gives very little information about the mechanics of approaching girls and actually seducing them.

It’s obvious now that he’s just a marketing genius and never really had any skills to begin with. Anybody seen a David DeAngelo approach video? No? I thought not.

It wasn’t all bad though, because his material is very good for inner game. Once you know what it is about guys that attracts women, you have a goal to work towards. Coincidentally, the majority of the qualities that men who are attractive to women have are those linked to high levels of masculinity. Thus, we can see that becoming a masculine guy is part of the process in your goal of becoming a guy who can seduce women. The other part encompasses the mechanics and techniques of initiating and cultivating an interaction with a hot girl, which leads to sex.

So, I was working on my inner game but I still had no idea how to meet attractive girls.

In actual fact it’s very easy. You see a hot girl and you walk up to her and say “Hi”.

Of course, when you’re starting out, the thought of actually approaching a girl is the last thing to cross your mind. There must be techniques! There must be tricks! You have to see a ‘Seduction Guru’ approach a girl in the street, right in front of your own eyes, before you can even begin to consider it to be anything other than totally impossible.

Theory Junkie

So, just like almost every other guy who begins their seduction journey, I looked for more information. I found the Mystery Method! I bought some nail polish and painted half my finger nails black and the other half white. I travelled to the city centre at the weekend at around lunchtime, went up to a random girl and said,

“Excuse me, I was just looking for an opinion. Which colour looks best on my nails? Black or white?”

The girl looked at me like I was a bit weird. She started edging away from me, made an excuse and scurried off. I tried it on another couple of girls with similar results.

“Fuck this shit. It doesn’t work. And I feel fucking gay”, I thought.

So I did more reading and found Shark‘s ‘Playboy Lifestyle’ and ‘Attract & Date’ CDs. He scorned the idea of peacocking and asking girls for opinions. He said, “Go up to the girl and tell her you like her”. Playboy Lifestyle was more oriented to clubs, so I went out to clubs but I would just wander around and not talk to girls. It seemed to me that a club is designed to do two things:

  1. Extract as much money from you as possible in the form of highly priced, watered down booze.
  2. Make it as hard as possible for you to meet and talk to girls, hence making you buy more booze, to get what we English call ‘Dutch Courage‘.

Luckily, the Attract & Date CDs seemed a bit more flexible. The material actually applied to daytime pickup in the street. The problem was, it consisted of eight CDs. I did actually listen to them many times over. I went out consistently, every Saturday for almost a year, trying to make myself go up to a hot girl and tell her,

“I like you and I want to get to know you.”

I never succeeded. But even if I had done, I wouldn’t have known what to do next. The only component of the structure of a pickup that Shark talks about is the approach. He explains all about how society forces you from your childhood to be a slave and a worker-bee. He also gives all sorts of missions to accomplish to supposedly break you free from society’s chains. I guess they helped me strengthen my inner game, but I still wasn’t approaching girls and that meant that I wasn’t getting laid either.

I actually travelled to Zagreb in Croatia for a bootcamp with Shark in 2008 after a year of failed approach attempts. He took me and a couple of other guys out on the streets and into the bars of Zagreb and made us approach girls. It was such a wonderful feeling! Shark is actually a really good approach coach and I ended up getting two dates during my weekend in Croatia’s capital city. However, the less said about his new-age spiritualist ideas, the better.

So, I returned to London thinking that I was cured of Approach Anxiety and eager to get out on the streets to apply what I’d learned. Then I was struck down by the ‘flu and had to lie in bed for a week to recover. Much to my surprise, after my recuperation, I was unable to approach women again. It was the same old mental block and the washing machine feeling in my stomach. During my week in bed, the excuses had returned. I kept trying for a bit but then gave up and then retreated to seduction forums.

Forum Junkie

On the forums I was a master seducer, drawing on my extensive knowledge of game theory to create expansive stories of my feats of seduction. Feats which were by no means duplicated in real life. I gave wonderful advice to other people who were also struggling, but it was advice that I wasn’t even following myself. This went on for months until I was forced to give up seduction by being made redundant from my job. That mean that I had to go back to University to retrain for a job in a more recession-proof industry.

It’s more than seven years later now and I’ve actually managed to learn how to seduce women. I have thousands of approaches under my belt. However, I go on forums now and see guys who are just like I was. I can tell a mile off whether someone is a theory junkie or whether they’re talking from experience. My advice to you is to avoid theory and just take as much action as you can.

Now that the seduction scene has matured, there are actual frameworks that you can adopt. You can follow them step-by-step and if you practice enough, you will go from never having approached a girl before to having sexual freedom, within a matter of months. Daygame is one such method. I’ll admit that I’m not familiar with all the others, but I’m sure there are alternatives out there if you wish to look.

Let me give you a couple of pieces of advice:

  • Once you find a method that suits your personality, forget everything else and just concentrate on that.
  • Don’t overload yourself with information. Try and assimilate only the information that is relevant to you at that particular moment. For example, there’s no point in you knowing how to kino-escalate on a woman if you can’t even approach yet. Concentrate on the approach. The same applies to each step of the seduction process. It’s a ladder. You can only climb one rung at a time.

In the end, after I finished University and decided that I wanted to get back out there and really learn this seduction thing, one event changed everything for me. I went on a forum and found someone who lived in my city who also wanted to go out and learn how to meet women. We met up and forced each other to approach girls. We did it every weekend for months until we could actually get numbers, go on dates and fuck these women. Bootcamps are okay, but constant progress is made by taking action consistently over a long period of time.

Don’t sit in front of a computer all the time, reading theory. Get out of your house, get your feet on the street and start saying “Hi” to some hotties.

Positive Self-Feedback

By 2 Comments

Pat On The Back

When you get more experienced as a womaniser, other guys start to notice and you begin to receive requests for instruction.

The first few times this happened, I was happy to invite whomever asked to come out and sarge with me. This has become a bit more tricky recently, as the amount of free time that I have has become surpassed by the number of requests that I have, so I started charging. I guess that makes me a dating coach, although it was never the intention. I still have a full-time job and a business that I’m working on in my spare time, in addition to teaching guys how to pick up girls. I write this blog as well.

I sometimes wish I had 36 hours in a day instead of 24.

Anyway, I was thinking about the different guys that I’ve taught. I was comparing in my mind the ones who have begun to get success with the ones who have not. When it came down to it, there was really only one thing that divided them.

Their mental feedback.

One set of guys often said stuff like this to me:

“I can’t see any girls that I like”,

“I can’t approach girls in a shop / in a cafe / at a bus-stop / wherever”,

“I talked to her but I couldn’t think of anything to say”,

“I’m just not good-looking enough to talk to her”.

The other set of guys said stuff like this:

“I did a Yad stop on her but I think I got too close so she freaked out a bit”,

“Every time I approach a girl, I find it easier to think of assumptions to make about her”,

“I’ll get it right next time”,

“I’ll be okay, I just need to put a bit more practice in”.

Guess which group have given up on Daygame altogether and just sit about in their underpants on a Saturday, playing Xbox? Guess which group is meeting and number-closing hot girls on a Saturday, then going on dates with them and having sex with them? You guessed right. The first group of guys is getting nowhere and the second group of guys is getting everything they ever wanted in terms of success with women.

The guys who are getting laid give themselves positive feedback and have a problem solving attitude.

The guys who are getting nowhere are always looking at the downside and expect other people to solve their problems.

Take Responsibility For Yourself

One of the factors that define a man is his willingness to take total responsibility for everything that happens in his life:

  • Car broken down? My fault for failing to get it serviced.
  • Got sacked for being late too often? My fault for not waking up early enough.
  • Overweight? My fault for eating too much crap.
  • Not been laid in five years? My fault for not talking to any girls.
  • Want to get rich? My responsibility to start a business.
  • Want a better job? My responsibility to learn the requisite skills.

Once you take responsibility for the areas of your life that you want to improve, you feel empowered. Maybe you’re a little scared at first because you’re used to having your hand held by your mother or any of the surrogate mothers that you’ve picked up in your life. Taking responsibility means that if you want to achieve something, you have to figure out how to do it and then put in the work.

Winning Mindset and Positive Feedback

When you start doing the work, if you keep giving yourself reasons why you can’t achieve it, you will just give up. If you give yourself a goal to reach and your mind starts giving you crap, just say to yourself, “Fuck that, I know I can do it. I believe in myself.” Clear your mind and imagine yourself achieving your goal. Say to yourself, “I can do it. It might be hard but I can do it anyway.” Then stand up and get to work.

This is the way winners think.

It may take a while, because ever since we’ve been alive we’ve had people telling us why we can’t do something or that we’re in some way not good enough to achieve something. Don’t believe all that crap. Watch your mind and every time you find yourself thinking of a reason why you can’t do something, blast it away and give yourself a reason why you can do it.

When you eventually reach whatever goal you’ve been striving towards, give yourself a pat on the back. Literally. Reach round and pat yourself on the back. Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes, smile and say, “Good job Your Name. You’re fucking awesome.” I’ve been doing this stuff for so long now that it’s just normal for me. This is the way I live.

How To Solve Problems And Achieve Your Goals

Part of the winning mindset is to have a problem-solving attitude. Once you’ve taken responsibility for solving a problem or reaching a goal in your life, you need to work out how to do it. Anybody with any sense uses the scientific method:

  • Ask a Question.
  • Do Background Research.
  • Construct a Hypothesis.
  • Test Your Hypothesis by Doing an Experiment.
  • Analyse Your Data and Draw a Conclusion.

So, let’s say you’ve got a problem; you get a girl’s number but she doesn’t reply to your feeler text.

Question: “Why doesn’t the girl reply to my text even though she gave me her number?”

Research: You go on the internet, buy a pickup book or read a blog like this one. You find out that most flakey numbers are caused by too much attraction (trying too hard) or too much comfort and rapport (friend zone).

Hypothesis:  You analyse your current game against a model of what “good game” is. You see that you’re doing no teasing, you’re complimenting the girl too much and you’re being very friendly with all the girls you talk to. You decide to modify your game over the next two or three weeks and compare the results. You will listen carefully to what each girl is saying when she’s talking. You decide if anything she’s said is something that you would tease your friend about if he said it. Then you call her out on whatever it is.

Experiment: You go out on the street for a day and talk to twenty girls. One girl says how she loves One Direction. You crack up and tell her “I don’t think I’ll be coming round your house for a drink if you’re going to playing that rubbish.” Another girl is wearing Wellington boots in the middle of summer. You look up at the clear sky and the sun beating down, then you point upwards and say “Expecting rain?”, then you look down at her Wellies and back up to her eyes. At the end of the day, you’ve managed to get four numbers. You text them and get two replies to your feeler texts.

Analysis: You look at your results and see that making one small change to your game has increased the solidity of your results.

You can solve every problem that you have using the scientific method. You can achieve any goal by using these steps.

So to emphasise my point again: If you want to be successful, not just with women, but with life in general, you must give yourself positive feedback and you must have a problem solving attitude. Everything else comes from that.

How to Approach a Girl

By Leave a Comment

There were days when approaching a girl in the street wasn’t ‘possible’ according to game-lore. If you wanted to meet a new girl, it had to be done in socially-acceptable venues such as bars and clubs. Even then, you had to stand in front of the girl, twist your head to look over your shoulder at her and then give her your opener. Since then, game has evolved. Guys aren’t so scared to be direct any more. Now we’re approaching on the street, in shops and in other not-so socially-acceptable places.

But I still see guys doing this:

Angled-Stop

Don’t do it! Don’t approach girls from an angle. If you approach from an angle, she’s just going to walk past you. Why? Because she can see your lack of conviction and therefore knows that you don’t have any balls. What heterosexual girl wants to date a guy with no balls? If you approach from an angle, you’re weak. If you approach from the side when you have the option of approaching from the front, you’re weak. If you approach from behind, you’re just a creep. If you want to appear to the girl to be an actual man, you approach like this:

Front-Stop

This way, you are totally blocking the girl’s path. I can see some of you guys squirming in your chair as you read this. You’re the ones I’m talking to. The point of being a guy is to be dominant and decisive. If you don’t walk right up to her, directly from the front, she’s not going to respect you. This is the mindset you should have: You see the girl and you damn well go up to her and claim her.  There’s no chance of escape for her. She’s your prey.

I’m going to link to a video from one of my favourite films below; ‘Swingers‘. The main character, Mikey has just made a half-arsed attempt at number-closing a chick at the bar. He’s walking back to his table in defeat, when we join him:

As you see, the quality of your approach depends on your mindset. If you go up and don’t believe you have the right to talk to that girl, you’re not going talk to her. She’s just going to walk on by. So, understand, you’re a big wolf and she’s just a little frightened bunny. You go up to her directly from the front and dominate the interaction. No excuses.

This is why a lot of guys give up after they’ve tried direct game a few times. “It’s too hard!”

Damn right it’s hard, being a man is hard. It’s not about learning a bunch of techniques, it’s about strengthening your mind. After all, that’s what a woman wants; a strong man. Strong inside and out. Build your body and build your mind, or preferably both at the same time.

Did you know that the mind and the body are linked? There are stories of guys lifting cars away from injured passengers because in the immediate aftermath of the accident, their minds were no longer limiting their real strength. There’s a truth that lifting weights builds your confidence. In order to constantly increase the weight that you can lift, you have to first tell your mind that you can do it. If you don’t believe that you can lift a heavier weight, your mind stops your body from being able to do so. Mind affects body, body affects mind.

So, believe that the girl will stop and you’ll automatically approach from the front.

When you do that, she’ll stop and wait to hear what you’ve got to say.

Always Be Closing.

By 3 Comments

That clip is from the film Glengarry Glen Ross. If you’ve not seen it, see it. The clip above is part of the most famous scene in the film, where Alec Baldwin’s character admonishes the sales team responsible for selling property on the Glengarry and Glen Ross estates on their failures.

That brings about one of the things that I want to talk about in this article.

Some Guys Are Just Not Trying Hard Enough

The number one reason that anybody who has become good at game got where they are is persistence. If you go out every week and practice hitting on girls, it is almost certain that you’ll get laid sooner or later, because it’s a numbers game. The more girls you talk to, the more likely it is that you’ll find one who likes you, whatever you do to fuck it up.

But that’s not the point of game. Numbers game isn’t a game, it’s just bull-headed persistence and luck.

You need to combine that persistence with a desire to improve.

You have to go out regularly and you have to analyse your game to work out where you made mistakes. Then the next time you go out, you have to ensure that you have a game plan for that day. Let me give you examples from my own beginnings.

When I started, out I knew that game was just a skill. In order to learn that skill, I had to find resources that would help me learn it and I needed to take massive action to put into practice what I learned from those resources.

I didn’t want to go on a bootcamp, because I knew from past experience that although the bootcamp experience gets you approaching and gives you that feeling of confidence with women for the weekend, unless you keep that momentum going, the effects fade quite quickly.

One of the reasons I chose to concentrate on Daygame is because there is a blueprint which takes you from zero to hero. You’ve just got to internalise it and implement it. They have plenty of free videos which explain almost every stage of the process and a bunch of products that you can buy to give you more in-depth information should you need it.

Be Methodical

So, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to run before I could walk, so I concentrated on taking baby-steps. I looked at the Daygame blueprint and said to myself, “Okay, what is the Attention Snap?”

The Attention Snap is the first stage of the Daygame blueprint, and the most vital to get right. I worked out from watching Yad approaching that in his case, the Attention Snap was doing a Yad Stop on a girl and saying “Excuse me, can I say something really quickly?”

So, I went out on the street and practiced the Attention Snap over and over again until I could consistently get a girl to stop.

At first I’d freak the girls out. I analysed my actions and realised that I was doing two things wrong:

  1. I was literally jumping in front of them. I modified this to be more a more smooth jog so that I came into their line of sight gradually.
  2. I was getting far too close during the stop. I modified this so that as I was jogging around in an arc as I passed her, I held out my arm to stop her and used that as a guide to keep me at the right distance.

There were a few other things to improve, such as making sure I was smiling, speaking slowly and loudly, giving direct eye contact, having good posture, etc. but eventually I was satisfied with that part of my game. Then I started working on the next part, the Prehistory.

As you can see, I gradually built my game bit by bit, making sure the foundations were solid first before progressing. I knew that eventually I would get to closing and that I just needed to be patient, methodical and analytical.

So to reiterate my point, don’t just go out every week, do exactly the same thing and expect to get different results. You’ve got to work out where you are going wrong and adjust what you do then next time you go out.

Also, don’t have a big list of things to modify the next time you go out. Pick one thing and work on getting that one thing right. If you’re trying to fix multiple issues at once, you won’t know what modification has had which effect. Make one change and try it on multiple girls, then you will be able to pin-point where you’re going wrong and think of other things you can do to try to fix it.

Closing is Fucking

Now we come to the main point of the article, closing. Check out this clip from Boiler Room, a great film about stock market brokers selling dodgy investments by cold-calling clients.
Two things come up from this clip. First of all, what is closing?
In sales, closing a deal is convincing the prospect to buy whatever it is that you’re selling. But, further than that, it is the exchange of the buyer’s cash for the product or service being bought.

If you compare this to game, closing is fucking the girl. Let me say that again, but using a bold font.

In game, closing is fucking the girl.

Many guys think that taking the girl’s number (number close) or kissing her in the street (kiss close) is a close, but it’s not. The only close that matters is the fuck close. If you don’t have sex with the girl, you didn’t close her.

A kiss close is pointless unless you’re then going to instant-date her and take her home, because it raises her buying temperature too much and buyer’s remorse is almost inevitable. See all that sales terminology? You make her want it too much, but you’re making her want it now-now-now, so you’ve got to pull the trigger now-now-now and get her to your bedroom as soon as possible, to do a real close.

A number close is a good thing to learn, and should be a part of your game arsenal, but it’s not a real close. It’s just a way to enable you to re-engage with the girl at a later point. You should use it for any of the following reasons:

  • Because you don’t have time to attempt to lay her that day.
  • Because she is too busy or unwilling to spend more time with you at that moment.
  • Because you’re out number farming and are concentrating on getting as many numbers as possible to play with.
  • Because you’re still not experienced enough yet in the dating and seduction stages of the game and want to learn those step-by-step before trying for same-day lays.
  • The girl isn’t hot enough for you to invest an extended period of time in seducing her.

There’s probably a couple more that I’ve not thought about, but on the whole, you should always be thinking about the lay. You’re not going out with the aim of taking a girl’s number. You’re not going out with the aim of having a nice chat or a cup of coffee with a girl. You’re not going out to stroke your ego. You’re going out with the aim of having sex with a hot girl. Everything else you do is a tool to aid you in the pursuit of that goal.

Persistence and Frame Control

The second thing that came to me from the clip is persistence. Most guys I take out just let the girl dominate the frame.

Towards the end of that clip, Ben Affleck’s character tells the group “Either you sell the client some stock or he sells you a reason why he can’t”.

The same applies to your game. If you’re talking to a girl and the girl’s still standing there, keep pushing the interaction towards the close. I’ll be out with a protege and he’ll see a girl he likes so I tell him “Go and speak to her then”, so he’ll jog over and open her. Then a few seconds later, I’ll see him jogging back and I say to him, “She looked like she was into you, how come the interaction was so short?” It’s usually one of two things. Either:

  • The girl said something that the guy took to be a rejection, but in actual fact was just her testing his resolve.
  • The girl was still a little shocked at being stopped and wasn’t able to think of something to say, so her mind made her blurt out a standard reply like “I have a boyfriend” or “I’m late to meet my friends”.

Kudos, well done. Most guys can’t even approach. But when you’ve got over that initial approach anxiety, there’s no reason for you to eject from an interaction unless she physically walks away. And even then, there are a few things you can do to try and save the set.

If you’re talking to her and she’s still standing there with her legs crossed and she comes out with some reason to discontinue the interaction, take it with a pinch of salt and continue with your conversation. A woman is looking for a leader. She expects you to lead the interaction and ignore any token objections that she throws at you.

Write this rule indelibly in your mind: Judge a woman by her actions, not her words.

Now before anyone tells me that this is harassing women, you’re wrong.

You’re not grabbing her wrist and forcing her to talk to you. You’re just ignoring objections and pressing on with your agenda. If she walks away, let her. She’s showing with her actions that you’re not doing a good enough job of seducing her. Let her go, learn from the experience and resolve to do better with the next girl.

If she’s still standing there, she’s giving you permission to continue gaming her. Stay calm and unflustered and progress through the blueprint towards the close. And as I’ve said before, if you have the opportunity, escalate to your bed. Take a number only if there’s no way of taking her straight to a coffee shop. Always be closing.

That’s it, I’m done.