MortPUA

Are You A Theory Junkie?

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When I first discovered the world of seduction in 2005, there wasn’t much information about. I downloaded a couple of David DeAngelo books, a couple of his video courses and a set of his ‘Interviews with Dating Gurus’ CDs. I watched, read and listened to them all several times. The problem with DeAngelo is that all his material is about ‘how to be attractive to girls’ and he gives very little information about the mechanics of approaching girls and actually seducing them.

It’s obvious now that he’s just a marketing genius and never really had any skills to begin with. Anybody seen a David DeAngelo approach video? No? I thought not.

It wasn’t all bad though, because his material is very good for inner game. Once you know what it is about guys that attracts women, you have a goal to work towards. Coincidentally, the majority of the qualities that men who are attractive to women have are those linked to high levels of masculinity. Thus, we can see that becoming a masculine guy is part of the process in your goal of becoming a guy who can seduce women. The other part encompasses the mechanics and techniques of initiating and cultivating an interaction with a hot girl, which leads to sex.

So, I was working on my inner game but I still had no idea how to meet attractive girls.

In actual fact it’s very easy. You see a hot girl and you walk up to her and say “Hi”.

Of course, when you’re starting out, the thought of actually approaching a girl is the last thing to cross your mind. There must be techniques! There must be tricks! You have to see a ‘Seduction Guru’ approach a girl in the street, right in front of your own eyes, before you can even begin to consider it to be anything other than totally impossible.

Theory Junkie

So, just like almost every other guy who begins their seduction journey, I looked for more information. I found the Mystery Method! I bought some nail polish and painted half my finger nails black and the other half white. I travelled to the city centre at the weekend at around lunchtime, went up to a random girl and said,

“Excuse me, I was just looking for an opinion. Which colour looks best on my nails? Black or white?”

The girl looked at me like I was a bit weird. She started edging away from me, made an excuse and scurried off. I tried it on another couple of girls with similar results.

“Fuck this shit. It doesn’t work. And I feel fucking gay”, I thought.

So I did more reading and found Shark‘s ‘Playboy Lifestyle’ and ‘Attract & Date’ CDs. He scorned the idea of peacocking and asking girls for opinions. He said, “Go up to the girl and tell her you like her”. Playboy Lifestyle was more oriented to clubs, so I went out to clubs but I would just wander around and not talk to girls. It seemed to me that a club is designed to do two things:

  1. Extract as much money from you as possible in the form of highly priced, watered down booze.
  2. Make it as hard as possible for you to meet and talk to girls, hence making you buy more booze, to get what we English call ‘Dutch Courage‘.

Luckily, the Attract & Date CDs seemed a bit more flexible. The material actually applied to daytime pickup in the street. The problem was, it consisted of eight CDs. I did actually listen to them many times over. I went out consistently, every Saturday for almost a year, trying to make myself go up to a hot girl and tell her,

“I like you and I want to get to know you.”

I never succeeded. But even if I had done, I wouldn’t have known what to do next. The only component of the structure of a pickup that Shark talks about is the approach. He explains all about how society forces you from your childhood to be a slave and a worker-bee. He also gives all sorts of missions to accomplish to supposedly break you free from society’s chains. I guess they helped me strengthen my inner game, but I still wasn’t approaching girls and that meant that I wasn’t getting laid either.

I actually travelled to Zagreb in Croatia for a bootcamp with Shark in 2008 after a year of failed approach attempts. He took me and a couple of other guys out on the streets and into the bars of Zagreb and made us approach girls. It was such a wonderful feeling! Shark is actually a really good approach coach and I ended up getting two dates during my weekend in Croatia’s capital city. However, the less said about his new-age spiritualist ideas, the better.

So, I returned to London thinking that I was cured of Approach Anxiety and eager to get out on the streets to apply what I’d learned. Then I was struck down by the ‘flu and had to lie in bed for a week to recover. Much to my surprise, after my recuperation, I was unable to approach women again. It was the same old mental block and the washing machine feeling in my stomach. During my week in bed, the excuses had returned. I kept trying for a bit but then gave up and then retreated to seduction forums.

Forum Junkie

On the forums I was a master seducer, drawing on my extensive knowledge of game theory to create expansive stories of my feats of seduction. Feats which were by no means duplicated in real life. I gave wonderful advice to other people who were also struggling, but it was advice that I wasn’t even following myself. This went on for months until I was forced to give up seduction by being made redundant from my job. That mean that I had to go back to University to retrain for a job in a more recession-proof industry.

It’s more than seven years later now and I’ve actually managed to learn how to seduce women. I have thousands of approaches under my belt. However, I go on forums now and see guys who are just like I was. I can tell a mile off whether someone is a theory junkie or whether they’re talking from experience. My advice to you is to avoid theory and just take as much action as you can.

Now that the seduction scene has matured, there are actual frameworks that you can adopt. You can follow them step-by-step and if you practice enough, you will go from never having approached a girl before to having sexual freedom, within a matter of months. Daygame is one such method. I’ll admit that I’m not familiar with all the others, but I’m sure there are alternatives out there if you wish to look.

Let me give you a couple of pieces of advice:

  • Once you find a method that suits your personality, forget everything else and just concentrate on that.
  • Don’t overload yourself with information. Try and assimilate only the information that is relevant to you at that particular moment. For example, there’s no point in you knowing how to kino-escalate on a woman if you can’t even approach yet. Concentrate on the approach. The same applies to each step of the seduction process. It’s a ladder. You can only climb one rung at a time.

In the end, after I finished University and decided that I wanted to get back out there and really learn this seduction thing, one event changed everything for me. I went on a forum and found someone who lived in my city who also wanted to go out and learn how to meet women. We met up and forced each other to approach girls. We did it every weekend for months until we could actually get numbers, go on dates and fuck these women. Bootcamps are okay, but constant progress is made by taking action consistently over a long period of time.

Don’t sit in front of a computer all the time, reading theory. Get out of your house, get your feet on the street and start saying “Hi” to some hotties.

How to Avoid Common Relationship Mistakes.

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The vast majority of guys who get good at game eventually get to a point where they meet a girl that they really like. So much so that even if they had previously made a solemn vow to remain a playboy for their remaining years, this girl makes them at least consider a return to monogamy.

I’ve been in relationships before learning game and I’ve been in relationships since learning game. With each girl that I spend time with, I’ve learned more about how to get what I want from the relationship.

With this article, I aim to spell out two things that I do now that I didn’t do before, which have made a massive impact on the quality of my relationships. In a future post I’ll go over a few of the others, but these are two of the most important.

Abundance

The main problem that guys who are not regularly meeting and fucking new women have is a lack of abundance. “No shit”, you may say. And I agree with you because from the outside, it’s obvious.

If you don’t have a woman and you don’t have game, the answer is also obvious: Learn game.

However, if you learned some game and settled down into a monogamous relationship, your number one problem is how to keep that feeling of abundance.

Why is it so important?

Let me run a scenario past you. Answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

If you were in a relationship and for one reason or another, that relationship stopped right now and you never saw your woman again, would you be confident of being able to fuck one or more completely different women within one month?

If you answer ‘no’, you don’t have abundance.

If you answer ‘yes’, you do. Now, if you’re in a monogamous relationship, you’ve basically made an agreement, spoken or unspoken, with your woman that you will not sleep with or have romantic liaisons with other women. Can you see how making this agreement is like tying a noose around your neck, swinging the rope over a tree branch and giving the end to your woman?

If you don’t have abundance, you’re not in charge of the relationship, the woman is. If she knows or even senses that you don’t have access to other pussy, she’s going to make you pay for the pussy that you get from her, because all of a sudden, it’s a scarce resource. And whether they know it consciously or not, women know deep down that what we want most from them is regular sex.

So, what’s the solution? There are many.

Most guys faced with this situation just decide to live with it. They have no game nor any knowledge of the red pill so they think that their only option is to live in a world where pussy is a reward for expensive gifts, dinners at restaurants, holidays, marriages and children.

Some guys have less integrity and tell their women that they’re monogamous but in fact meet and fuck other girls on the side. These guys also have little or no game and either meet these girls by chance or pay for the pussy. Either way, these guys have absolutely no self-respect. Don’t let this be you.

Then there are guys who never become monogamous. They have game, they have pussy on demand and have plenty of abundance. This is a charmed life to live, but all of the guys I know of, or have read about who live like this complain of regular periods of burn-out or game-revulsion. They get sick of chasing pussy and have to spend a couple of months at a time away from game, doing something else entirely.

There is also Polygyny, but that’s so rare, that it’s like seeing a unicorn.

The final alternative is to see the woman monogamously and have some game, but keep that game sharp by still gaming other women. I don’t mean gaming other women, dating and fucking them. I just mean gaming them. Approach attractive women in your day-to-day life, run game on them and take their number. Maybe send the initiator text to make sure your game is good, but go no further.

This way, you are faithful to your woman, but you are keeping your skill-set fresh and you are getting enough validation from other women to know that if and when your relationship cracks apart, you have immediate options. You can even occasionally flirt with other attractive women when your own woman is present.

When you do this, she will often surprise you by picking up a new pair of semi-transparent underwear to tempt you with or even spontaneously unzipping you for a crafty blow-job in a semi-public place. Abundance is extremely important.

Leadership

The second thing that you have to be in a relationship is the leader. In every relationship, there is always one person who is in charge. There is no democracy in relationships. Sure, the leader consults with with follower, but in the end, someone is always wearing the trousers. Make sure it’s you.

Here are some examples of things that you should be doing to ensure that you’re the one in charge, not her.

When she asks you where you want to go to eat, you tell her which restaurant. Picking a restaurant that she likes will please her, but you make the decision.

What will please her more is that she is relieved of the burden of having to make a decision. Women hate having to make decisions. They hate taking responsibility.

This is why part of learning to be a man is to make it normal to make decisions and be responsible for your life and to some extent, the life of your woman.

If she asks you what film you should go to see at the cinema together, tell her. She will probably have mentioned at some point that she likes the look of one film or another. You should have been listening and made a mental note. If you’re memory’s shit like mine, keep a notebook and write the name of the film down, so you can remember.

It doesn’t matter that you’re not necessarily going to see a film that you want to see, what matters is that you’re making the decision. And she’ll be extra passionate when the time comes for her to spread her legs later that night.

If you’re walking with her in the street, trying to get to some arbitrary location, you should never allow her to walk in front of you. Always keep her at your side or behind you. If she wanders in front, call her back. If she asks why, tell her “I’m in charge here” and hold her hand or her wrist.

The only time I let my women walk in front is when I tell her to. And that’s usually when she’s wearing a particularly nice skirt, so I can see the way her arse moves while she’s walking. And I tell her that. I like to see her blush.

Lead her physically as well as mentally.  Put your palm in the small of her back and push her softly to direct her where you want her to go. Occasionally hold her elbow when you cross the road. Don’t overdo the physicality, be laid back. Just show her that you have concern for her welfare and that you’re there to lead her safely to wherever it is that you’re going to.

Lead her in the bedroom. When you’re tired of one position and want to do something else, move her or tell her to move. If you want to do the missionary position, put your hands between her thighs and spread her legs. If you want to change to doggy style, grab her legs, twist her over on to her belly and tell her to get on all fours. If you want her to suck your cock, push down on her shoulders and tell her to get down on her knees.

You’re leading. She is following.

These two things will make a relationship a lot more pleasant. Try them and you’ll see.

Expand Your Comfort Zone.

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Us humans like to be comfortable. There’s huge industry devoted to making our lives fluffy and soft.

At one time, our descendants had a hard life. They struggled to find food, let alone somewhere to lie down and fall asleep without fear of being mauled and eaten by wild animals. They had to rely on their cunning, their hunting and survival skills, the strength and speed of their bodies. The constant danger kept their wits sharp.

In our present age, the closest we come to danger is crossing the road during rush hour.

There is no threat. Society keeps us safe and comfortable.

This is why the population is overweight and overindulgent. Whenever we have a problem, we escape to excess of food, drink, drugs or World of Warcraft instead of facing the problem and overcoming it.

But you and I have taken the pill and we’ve woken up to the truth. If we want to experience more in our lives than our masters and overlords want us to, we have to experience discomfort and peril like our ancestors did.

We push beyond our boundaries, take risks stake our claim to a better life.

Nobody’s saying that we have to go back to the wilderness and live like savages. What I’m saying is that in order to truly experience life and struggle beyond the limitations that the average man is unconsciously held to, we need to feel fear and discomfort on a regular basis. We need to become friends with it.

When you feel that fear, it means that you’re working in unknown territory. When you face the unknown, you grow and become greater than you were before. You gain experience, knowledge and confidence in your ability to push further into the unknown. That first initial foray out of your comfort zone can in time become an expedition, during which you find great wealth and power.

Let’s do an exercise. Close your eyes and imagine each of the following things in as much detail as possible:

  • Riding a rollercoaster
  • Doing a bungee jump
  • Jumping out of a plane with a parachute
  • Giving a speech in front of fifty people
  • Joining a boxing gym or a martial arts dojo
  • Talking to an attractive girl with her friends on the street
  • Moving to another country
  • Quitting your job and starting your own business
  • Contacting a celebrity or personal hero and asking them to lunch

If any of those give you butterflies in your tummy, make you want to throw up or just scare the living shit out of you, then you might consider actually doing them. All of them.

In fact, don’t consider them. Do them.

To make it easier, you can do them in order of the least scary one first and the most scary last. If you can think of other things that scare you, add them to the list.

Once you start meeting that fear instead of avoiding it, you’ll find your life changes in an unprecedented manner.

You will change. You will become more of a man, and a man can do anything.

You can do anything.

If you’re comfortable, you’re not living your life, you’re just existing.

Don’t Change for Anyone.

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As a man, one of the things you should decide is who you want to be.

You can design yourself and your life. You can make tweaks here and there. This is the power of a man. The power of action. It’s not necessary to settle for what you are when you can be more. Sure, each of us has limitations, but we can work around them and strengthen them. The point is to strive towards, not perfection but one step more than you are now. And then one step further and one step further.

The point is, that you are the one that identifies who you want to be and where you want to be going in your life. Yes, you will aim for one thing and over a period of time, the goal may change to something different, but it’s an organic process that comes from following the direction of your desires. There is a strength in this.

Don’t change for other people’s sake. This is weakness. Especially when it comes to a woman.

Song of the Sirens

Women can have a powerful effect on a man. I see time and time again, a strong alpha guy meets a woman and gets into a relationship with her. But instead of remaining the guy he was when he met her, he slowly melts and bends his personality and desires to fit her. Not only is the betraying himself, but his woman will lose attraction for him, also.

Don’t let this happen to you. Focus on who you are and who you want to be. Your primary focus in life is your mission, not your woman. She will respect and admire you for this, because although she may tell you she wants to be your number one, she doesn’t really want it. It’s like sirens calling to sailors to take them to their depths.

If you get into a relationship with a woman and she’s always saying that she wishes you were a little more like this or a little more like that, end the relationship. She doesn’t want you, she wants some other guy. Don’t worry, if you keep looking, you will find a girl who is completely happy with you just the way you are. This is the power of game. You don’t have to settle any more. You can have your cake and eat it. It just takes a little time and patience.

Ignore the Naysayers

If your parents don’t like who are, tell them that you’re a man now and you will to listen to you their advice, but in the end, you will choose your own path.

I know from my own experience, my mother had a strong influence on my growth and it wasn’t until I started to break free from her expectations that I came to feel like I was becoming a man. I knew I was on the right path when she started to behave really childishly, having tantrums and using emotional blackmail to try to bend me to her will. I just had to be assertive and say:

“No. This is who I want to be, and if it doesn’t coincide with who you want to be, that’s your problem. I am my own man.”

Often, when your friends see you growing and improving your life, they become scared of losing you or they become jealous of your successes and they try to drag you down back to your former level. I had one particular friend who I’d known for more than twenty years, but he couldn’t accept my growth.

He began to try to put me down verbally, he generally behaved in a very pathetic and condescending manner. At first I tried spending more time with him, then I tried to lift him up with me, but he just want to stay where he was; like a lead weight around my ankle, stopping me from rising. In the end, I had to sever the cord completely and let him sink from life. I’ve not spoken to him since.

If someone doesn’t like you for who you are, that’s their tough shit. Don’t change for anybody but yourself.

Be a Leader.

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The topic of this post is very important, not only from a seduction perspective, but in terms of masculinity also.

I’ve said before that masculinity is the key to being attractive to women and to be a real leader you have to have a large number of the requisite masculine traits before you can ‘qualify to join the club’.

When I talk about masculine traits, what specifically would I include in the list?

  • Definiteness of Purpose
  • Self Esteem
  • Bravery
  • Composure
  • Leadership
  • Responsibility
  • Self Development
  • Experience with Women

I’m sure I could think of more. The good thing is, if you read through that list and thought “Hmm, I’m not very strong on that one”, you don’t need to worry. Each one is either a skill that you can learn or a trait that you can acquire through practice and experience.

Let’s Break it Down

As guys, we are very lucky because to become more attractive to women, we just have to put in some time and effort. For women it’s a lot harder. Young, beautiful, fit women will always be attractive to men, but youth, beauty and a hot body all fade with time and no amount of make-up, plastic surgery and gym sessions will sustain them.

So, why, and in what context is leadership important?

There are two contexts in which you can divide leadership:

  1. Leading yourself
  2. Leading others (including women)

To be able to lead others, you must also be able to lead yourself. If you can’t even lead yourself, why would other people trust you to lead them?

So what do I mean by ‘leading yourself’? It’s pretty simple. I’ll break it down:

  • You have learned to overcome procrastination
  • You are able to set and carry out plans or goals
  • You are able to come to good decisions (without endless deliberation)
  • You are decisive
  • You are considerate of needs
  • You respect yourself

I’ll go through these in more detail and give you some guidelines in how to implement them.

Overcoming Procrastination

If you’re unable to overcome procrastination, you are living in fear. As I said above, masculine men and hence leaders are brave. They’re not going to rush into deadly situations but they’re also not going to let irrational fears stop them from proceeding in the direction that they choose.

If you find yourself procrastinating about putting into action a plan that you have made, you need to examine your emotions and find out where the fear lies. Once you examine this fear closely, you will inevitably discover that it is based upon a lie or a misconception. Uncovering the truth removes the fear and you can then take action immediately without delay.

An example in seduction would be to approach the girl. You get approach anxiety and spend a whole day procrastinating from stopping all the sweethearts that walk by.

You sit down to examine why and discover that you’re scared that the girl will reject you and make you feel bad.

You think about this and decide that in the long-run, the pleasure you’ll get from being able to meet and fuck hot girls will far outweigh the pain you may get from being rejected a few times by a stranger.

Goal Setting

In its essence, leadership is about direction. Without a direction in which to travel, you cannot lead people along your route. The act of choosing a direction is called setting a goal. You aim for something and set off to reach it.

It could be as simple as choosing to go to the pub. It could be deciding to step out of your house. Either way, you make a decision and then you carry it out. Goal setting has to be paired with action, otherwise it becomes procrastination all over again.

A seduction-based example would include deciding to spend at least four hours walking the streets in the daytime on a Saturday and then making sure you do so. Another would be deciding to kiss a girl and then doing so. Decide and do.

Good Decisions

The ability to make good decisions is important, because poor decision making can lead to disaster. This ability comes from exposure to two other things:

Experience and knowledge.

Knowledge is easy to acquire, especially in this data-age that we live in. Just be careful not to overload on it, as it is so easy just to read and read and never put the knowledge you have into action. Action is the key.

Experience is actually based on action. You have to take some form of action to have an experience and thus gain experience. In our case, the most valuable experiences are those in which we had to be brave and push our boundaries.

If you think in terms of seduction, you could stop a girl and decide to introduce yourself and then fondle her breasts. This will get you a slap and possibly a night in prison. You need to have knowledge that doing this to someone with whom you have no previous level of intimacy is not going to give a positive result. You need experience in escalating your level of physical contact with the girl to know when is the optimum and appropriate time to squeeze those lovely round tits.

In addition to being able to make good decisions, you must also be able to make them fairly quickly. If you have the experience and knowledge necessary, the decision should be obvious and the only thing that will make you deliberate over it will be fear.

Once again, we come back to procrastination (now you can see why I put it at the top of the list).

Being able to make a decision quickly is also known as decisiveness. At some point in your life it will be important for you to make a quick decision. It may save your life and those of the people you are leading. If you’ve made it a habit to be decisive and make quick decisions, when that moment comes, you’ll be ready for it.

Consideration for Needs

When it comes to leading yourself or others in a certain direction, you need to be considerate of your needs and the needs of the people you’re leading. You’re not going to be a good leader if the decision you make leads to harmful consequences for the people who decide to follow you.

If you make a decision to make a habit of injecting heroin on a regular basis, this is not being considerate to yourself. Not only is it a bad decision overall for your life, but it would be devastatingly harmful to your near and long-term future. You need to have consideration for your goals. Your goals were created to fulfil your needs.

The same goes for leading others, you need to be considerate of their needs. You need an understanding of what your followers want in life and be able to lead them in harmony. Obviously if their needs do not match yours, you should choose not to lead them, in which case your decision will be in consideration for them.

In a seduction context, you could be considerate for a woman’s desire for approval from her peers. This means not sticking your tongue down her throat and ripping her clothes off in public, because then other women will regard her to be a slut. You need to have discretion.

Respect

Without respect for yourself, nobody else is going to respect you. You need to genuinely like yourself for who you are.

This means acting in line with your beliefs and values.

It means liking yourself and being the kind of person who you’d like to be friends with.

When it comes down to it, you’re going to respect yourself more if you’re making goals and accomplishing them. If your life has meaning because you made some good decisions and took action to further yourself on your chosen path, you will have earned your own respect.

But you have to do it without compromising your core values. If you believe that killing people is bad, but you make decisions which cause people to lose their lives, you’re not going to respect yourself. Choose your philosophy of life and live by no matter what other people think.

As Arnold Schwarzenegger said in his six rules of life: “Ignore the naysayers”.

Do what you believe to be the right thing.

Be a Leader

If you’re reading this post because you’re trying to learn how to seduce women, I can’t recommend anything more than to learn to be a leader. If you can lead a woman, you will gain her trust and if you can do that, you won’t have to struggle to fuck her. 

The fact is that women want to be lead. They hate responsibility and the more that they can offload the decision making process onto you, the more they’ll like you. That’s fine, because if you’re a real man, you thrive on the responsibility of making decisions anyway, and you do it without fear.

The same goes for masculinity in general. A properly masculine guy who lives and breaths the traits that I listed at the beginning of this post doesn’t need game.

If you’re that guy, you don’t make excuses, you have the balls to go for what you want and you don’t take shit from others. You’re not needy or desperate, in fact your whole life is great. A hot, sexy woman is just the filling in your cake, not the cake itself.

If you follow the guidelines above, you’ll be able to lead yourself and be able to lead others. But don’t ever stop, you can always improve yourself and striving to be better will make you happy.

Being idle and stagnating will kill you. Always be moving. If you’re moving you’re harder to hit.

If you’re always moving and improving, you will outrun your peers and get your rewards. You will be an inspiration for others.