MortPUA

How to Avoid Common Relationship Mistakes.

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The vast majority of guys who get good at game eventually get to a point where they meet a girl that they really like. So much so that even if they had previously made a solemn vow to remain a playboy for their remaining years, this girl makes them at least consider a return to monogamy.

I’ve been in relationships before learning game and I’ve been in relationships since learning game. With each girl that I spend time with, I’ve learned more about how to get what I want from the relationship.

With this article, I aim to spell out two things that I do now that I didn’t do before, which have made a massive impact on the quality of my relationships. In a future post I’ll go over a few of the others, but these are two of the most important.

Abundance

The main problem that guys who are not regularly meeting and fucking new women have is a lack of abundance. “No shit”, you may say. And I agree with you because from the outside, it’s obvious.

If you don’t have a woman and you don’t have game, the answer is also obvious: Learn game.

However, if you learned some game and settled down into a monogamous relationship, your number one problem is how to keep that feeling of abundance.

Why is it so important?

Let me run a scenario past you. Answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

If you were in a relationship and for one reason or another, that relationship stopped right now and you never saw your woman again, would you be confident of being able to fuck one or more completely different women within one month?

If you answer ‘no’, you don’t have abundance.

If you answer ‘yes’, you do. Now, if you’re in a monogamous relationship, you’ve basically made an agreement, spoken or unspoken, with your woman that you will not sleep with or have romantic liaisons with other women. Can you see how making this agreement is like tying a noose around your neck, swinging the rope over a tree branch and giving the end to your woman?

If you don’t have abundance, you’re not in charge of the relationship, the woman is. If she knows or even senses that you don’t have access to other pussy, she’s going to make you pay for the pussy that you get from her, because all of a sudden, it’s a scarce resource. And whether they know it consciously or not, women know deep down that what we want most from them is regular sex.

So, what’s the solution? There are many.

Most guys faced with this situation just decide to live with it. They have no game nor any knowledge of the red pill so they think that their only option is to live in a world where pussy is a reward for expensive gifts, dinners at restaurants, holidays, marriages and children.

Some guys have less integrity and tell their women that they’re monogamous but in fact meet and fuck other girls on the side. These guys also have little or no game and either meet these girls by chance or pay for the pussy. Either way, these guys have absolutely no self-respect. Don’t let this be you.

Then there are guys who never become monogamous. They have game, they have pussy on demand and have plenty of abundance. This is a charmed life to live, but all of the guys I know of, or have read about who live like this complain of regular periods of burn-out or game-revulsion. They get sick of chasing pussy and have to spend a couple of months at a time away from game, doing something else entirely.

There is also Polygyny, but that’s so rare, that it’s like seeing a unicorn.

The final alternative is to see the woman monogamously and have some game, but keep that game sharp by still gaming other women. I don’t mean gaming other women, dating and fucking them. I just mean gaming them. Approach attractive women in your day-to-day life, run game on them and take their number. Maybe send the initiator text to make sure your game is good, but go no further.

This way, you are faithful to your woman, but you are keeping your skill-set fresh and you are getting enough validation from other women to know that if and when your relationship cracks apart, you have immediate options. You can even occasionally flirt with other attractive women when your own woman is present.

When you do this, she will often surprise you by picking up a new pair of semi-transparent underwear to tempt you with or even spontaneously unzipping you for a crafty blow-job in a semi-public place. Abundance is extremely important.

Leadership

The second thing that you have to be in a relationship is the leader. In every relationship, there is always one person who is in charge. There is no democracy in relationships. Sure, the leader consults with with follower, but in the end, someone is always wearing the trousers. Make sure it’s you.

Here are some examples of things that you should be doing to ensure that you’re the one in charge, not her.

When she asks you where you want to go to eat, you tell her which restaurant. Picking a restaurant that she likes will please her, but you make the decision.

What will please her more is that she is relieved of the burden of having to make a decision. Women hate having to make decisions. They hate taking responsibility.

This is why part of learning to be a man is to make it normal to make decisions and be responsible for your life and to some extent, the life of your woman.

If she asks you what film you should go to see at the cinema together, tell her. She will probably have mentioned at some point that she likes the look of one film or another. You should have been listening and made a mental note. If you’re memory’s shit like mine, keep a notebook and write the name of the film down, so you can remember.

It doesn’t matter that you’re not necessarily going to see a film that you want to see, what matters is that you’re making the decision. And she’ll be extra passionate when the time comes for her to spread her legs later that night.

If you’re walking with her in the street, trying to get to some arbitrary location, you should never allow her to walk in front of you. Always keep her at your side or behind you. If she wanders in front, call her back. If she asks why, tell her “I’m in charge here” and hold her hand or her wrist.

The only time I let my women walk in front is when I tell her to. And that’s usually when she’s wearing a particularly nice skirt, so I can see the way her arse moves while she’s walking. And I tell her that. I like to see her blush.

Lead her physically as well as mentally.  Put your palm in the small of her back and push her softly to direct her where you want her to go. Occasionally hold her elbow when you cross the road. Don’t overdo the physicality, be laid back. Just show her that you have concern for her welfare and that you’re there to lead her safely to wherever it is that you’re going to.

Lead her in the bedroom. When you’re tired of one position and want to do something else, move her or tell her to move. If you want to do the missionary position, put your hands between her thighs and spread her legs. If you want to change to doggy style, grab her legs, twist her over on to her belly and tell her to get on all fours. If you want her to suck your cock, push down on her shoulders and tell her to get down on her knees.

You’re leading. She is following.

These two things will make a relationship a lot more pleasant. Try them and you’ll see.

Experimenting with Relationships.

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Before I started my PUA journey, I had three long-term monogamous relationships with two different girls.

The first girl I lived with for almost three years. I knew after six months that she wasn’t right for me but I stayed with her because I wanted regular sex. Even then, after a while, the sex got boring and I would imagine fucking other girls whilst fucking her. I couldn’t leave her though because I had no other options and no trust in my ability to find a suitable replacement.

I find this pretty pathetic now.

The second one I lived with for a couple of years, I let her go and then four years later, met her again, lived with her again and let her go again.

I let her go the first time because it was obvious that we weren’t compatible; in many things, but most of all sexually. The rationale for getting back with her was a massive dry spell I had and a promise from her to be more available sexually. I let her go again for the second time for the same reason as before. We started living together and the sex dried up. And she annoyed the fuck out of me.

Learning Game Gives You Options

After our first break-up I discovered Game, but was mostly unable to approach, so I spent most of my time reading and keyboard-jockeying. I think most guys go through this phase of too much reading and not enough action. Luckily, I was interested in a direct style of game which had an emphasis on inner-game, so in the four years between our relationships, despite having no actual game, I had become a lot more solid as a man. I think this is one of the things that attracted her to me the second time.

After this third failed relationship, I decided that the main problem was that I didn’t have enough choice of women.

Sure, I came into contact with hundreds of women every day, and some of them were attractive enough for me to want to fuck, but I was frozen from taking the action necessary to turn that desire into a reality. It didn’t help that at this time I decided to quit drugs, smoking and drinking. In the end this helped a lot, but not going to pubs and clubs anymore made it difficult to meet women in a socially acceptable way.

This is where Daygame came in. I could just meet women as I went about my daily life.

After getting a wing, I was able to start approaching and after eight or nine months, got my first lay from a cold approach on the street. Not long after, I got two other lays (they always seems to come in bunches). I was having casual sex with three different women in rotation.

Having a Rotation Stops You Getting Bored

I found this situation to be very enjoyable. I was getting regular sex from three hot young girls, but the most important thing to me was that I wasn’t bored.

I’d fuck one girl and then not really care if I fucked her again, but then I’d fuck another girl and the desire for the first girl would come back. It was like fucking more than one woman made both women far more desirable to me than just fucking one would have done. It kept sex exciting and fresh.

The main problem with this scenario was that none of the girls knew that I was fucking other girls.

I like to think that I have integrity and this duplicitous behaviour was bothering me. I knew that I had to do something. I looked for advice and saw a video by a London PUA who went by the name of ‘Skeletor’.  He said to be honest with women and tell them you’re seeing other girls. I decided to try it and told one of the girls that I wanted to see other women.

She punched me on the ear.

So I was down to two girls. I told both of the other girls that this wasn’t going to be monogamous, but that I liked them and wanted to keep seeing them. One accepted it and the other had a major strop and didn’t see me for three weeks. But eventually she texted me to say she’d thought about it and wanted to come back to me.

Girls Can’t Handle Polygamy for Longer Than a Few Months

This carried on for a couple of months, then the girl who had originally accepted the situation started to behave weirdly. She send me texts saying “FML”. I was thinking “what the hell does FML mean”, so I looked it up and it means “fuck my life”. I could see that she was a little bit disturbed below the surface and decided to break it off with her.

This left me with one girl, but I was still going out and meeting and dating other women to try to get my rotation back. After a couple of months this girl also began to crack.

She was one of those girls who accepted me seeing other women but didn’t want to know the details. From my experience, girls in rotation are either like this or they want to know everything about the other girls that I’m seeing. I can see the pros and cons of both. If the situation were reversed, I’d prefer to know nothing but at the same time I’d like to know sexual details through fear of STDs. I guess things like this cross your mind when you’re a girl whose guy is seeing other women.

Anyway, she slowly became more and more remote and eventually stop returning texts. I saw her a few days later in public and she just ignored me.

I went through this cycle a few times, meeting new girls, fucking them and adding them to the rotation. I became better at managing the girls, enabling me to lengthen the amount of time that they’d stick around until they slipped off the radar, but in the end, they all disappeared, one by one.

About a year ago, I met a really awesome girl.

Return to Monogamy

I didn’t actually expect us to be anything more than a one night stand, as she lives hundreds of miles away and was just visiting London for the weekend. I didn’t bother telling her that I was seeing other girls because I never expected to see her again. But she came back down and we did some stuff together and then it became a regular thing. We went on holidays together and we were seeing each other for a whole weekend every two or three weeks. We still are.

Two things make this relationship awesome.

Firstly, I really like her. I went through more than three thousand girls before I met one who ticks all the boxes for me. She’s loyal, she’s good looking and sexy. We have a matching libido and good polarity, because I’m masculine and she’s feminine. She’s creative, she likes to cook for me and mend ripped clothes. She makes the bed. She allows me to make videos of us engaged in obscene acts. She pays for us to eat out and go on holidays. She has a great sense of humour, she dresses well, she buys clothes and lingerie that she thinks I’ll like. I could go on.

Secondly, because we only see each other every two or three weeks, we have time to be away from each other. It stops the relationship becoming too stifled and keeps us both on our toes. By the time the waiting is done and she’s taken the train down to London, we’re overjoyed to see each other again and we fuck like rabbits all weekend. For a long time it was far from boring.

I still went out ever weekend that she wasn’t visiting to Daygame and meet other girls, but the more I saw this one girl, the less enthusiastic I became about going on dates with the girls whose numbers I’d taken. I was beginning to fall for her, despite my solid belief that monogamy doesn’t work.

But now I’m starting to get itchy again.

Polygyny

For the last couple of months, I’ve started to imagine fucking other girls while she’s sucking me. There are only so many new things you can think of to do together. There are only so many places to go. Only so many different ways to fuck someone. I’m beginning to run out of ideas and I’m beginning to stop caring.

I’ve been thinking to myself: “If only I could see two or three real quality girls on a monogamous basis who all know about each other and even like each other.”

Now I know that it’s possible to meet “the one”, and I know that seeing more than one girl at a time will stop you getting bored of each girl, so I think a possible solution to a man’s relationship problems is Polygyny.

In fact after I came up with this idea, I found out that it had been thought of before. A classic example is the relationship that the three main characters (Javier Bardem, Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz) have in Woody Allen’s film ‘Vicky Cristina Barcelona‘. All three members of the relationship live together, fuck each other and like each other immensely.

I know some people are obsessed with the concept of “the one” and some people think it impossible. Personally, I think there are many girls in the world who would be “the one” for me. In my case, it is one girl in every three thousand.

Now, if only I could meet another “one” and somehow magically see both at the same time on a monogamous basis. I know monogamous means “one at a time” but I’m talking about them seeing me and each other exclusively. A relationship triptych.

I Have Hope

I wasn’t surprised to find that I’m not the first person my current woman has been in a relationship with. I’m the second. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the first one was a girl.

“Zoiks! This is perfect!” I thought. “I’m going out with a bi-sexual girl.”

Maybe I can find another “one” and we can explore my ideal scenario. Over a period of time I jokingly and sometimes not so jokingly made suggestions to the effect that we could find another woman and have fun together, but every time, the idea was refuted. After pressing her on the matter, it seems that her first relationship was just a phase of her life where she was finding out who she was and she’s not bi-sexual after all.

This dashed my dreams and I wished that I’d told her straight away that I was seeing other women. I did tell her after six months that I’d fucked other women since I’d met her, but she was kind of okay with it because it was only at the point that she was becoming really attached to me.

So, now I’m stuck. I’m in a monogamous relationship with the most awesome girl I’ve ever met, but I can feel the primal polygamy rearing up again.

Unresolved Ending

I keep Daygaming but I don’t text the girls I meet. I think it’s important to keep practising because I think a split is inevitable at some point. I don’t believe men and women are meant to be together for their entire lives. I won’t ever get married. Besides, still meeting other women keeps me from becoming needy and keeps my flirting and social skills sharp. This is undoubtedly one of the things that keeps her attraction levels high.

I’m not sure what’s going to happen, but I suspect I’m going to be single again at some point, whether it’s weeks, months or years from now, I don’t know.

Maybe then I can give Polygyny a try.

Don’t Change for Anyone.

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As a man, one of the things you should decide is who you want to be.

You can design yourself and your life. You can make tweaks here and there. This is the power of a man. The power of action. It’s not necessary to settle for what you are when you can be more. Sure, each of us has limitations, but we can work around them and strengthen them. The point is to strive towards, not perfection but one step more than you are now. And then one step further and one step further.

The point is, that you are the one that identifies who you want to be and where you want to be going in your life. Yes, you will aim for one thing and over a period of time, the goal may change to something different, but it’s an organic process that comes from following the direction of your desires. There is a strength in this.

Don’t change for other people’s sake. This is weakness. Especially when it comes to a woman.

Song of the Sirens

Women can have a powerful effect on a man. I see time and time again, a strong alpha guy meets a woman and gets into a relationship with her. But instead of remaining the guy he was when he met her, he slowly melts and bends his personality and desires to fit her. Not only is the betraying himself, but his woman will lose attraction for him, also.

Don’t let this happen to you. Focus on who you are and who you want to be. Your primary focus in life is your mission, not your woman. She will respect and admire you for this, because although she may tell you she wants to be your number one, she doesn’t really want it. It’s like sirens calling to sailors to take them to their depths.

If you get into a relationship with a woman and she’s always saying that she wishes you were a little more like this or a little more like that, end the relationship. She doesn’t want you, she wants some other guy. Don’t worry, if you keep looking, you will find a girl who is completely happy with you just the way you are. This is the power of game. You don’t have to settle any more. You can have your cake and eat it. It just takes a little time and patience.

Ignore the Naysayers

If your parents don’t like who are, tell them that you’re a man now and you will to listen to you their advice, but in the end, you will choose your own path.

I know from my own experience, my mother had a strong influence on my growth and it wasn’t until I started to break free from her expectations that I came to feel like I was becoming a man. I knew I was on the right path when she started to behave really childishly, having tantrums and using emotional blackmail to try to bend me to her will. I just had to be assertive and say:

“No. This is who I want to be, and if it doesn’t coincide with who you want to be, that’s your problem. I am my own man.”

Often, when your friends see you growing and improving your life, they become scared of losing you or they become jealous of your successes and they try to drag you down back to your former level. I had one particular friend who I’d known for more than twenty years, but he couldn’t accept my growth.

He began to try to put me down verbally, he generally behaved in a very pathetic and condescending manner. At first I tried spending more time with him, then I tried to lift him up with me, but he just want to stay where he was; like a lead weight around my ankle, stopping me from rising. In the end, I had to sever the cord completely and let him sink from life. I’ve not spoken to him since.

If someone doesn’t like you for who you are, that’s their tough shit. Don’t change for anybody but yourself.

Four Tips to Experience Satisfying Relationships.

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Before you even go out to meet girls, you need to have an idea of what you’re looking for. If you don’t have much experience with women, this is usually quite a small list of preferences, most likely revolving around looks. For example, you might like a girl who has:

  • Slim build.
  • Red hair.
  • Not too many freckles.

As you meet more women, go on dates, and experience relationships of varying length and seriousness, your initial list of preferences expands, gets more defined and can sometimes change dramatically.

Look Deeper

More often than not, you start looking beyond a girl’s physical characteristics. By this time, you’ll have met a lot of girls and have accumulated an extensive mental catalogue of traits that you would like and not like in your ideal woman.

Most guys just have this list in their heads. After all, it’s in a man’s nature to be constantly checking girls out and comparing them against his mental catalogue for suitability. Some write it down. Either way, it is important that you meet enough women for your list to become well defined.

“Know thyself,” it is said.

In our case, “Know thyself and know thine woman”.

Once you get to this point, will become a lot more discerning about which of the girls you meet qualify to become your girlfriend or join your harem.

After getting to know a girl, you are able to compare her to your list. If you have satisfied yourself that she possesses a high percentage of desirable and a low percentage of undesirable characteristics, you will probably decide that you want to see her again (after fucking her of course).

Give Her Great Sex

It’s important you really satisfy her in the bedroom department, because if you don’t, she’s not going to stay around. So if you find yourself having a bunch of one night stands with girls when you’d actually like to see more of them, this is an area you need to improve.

I’m not going to go over this, as there are a number of good resources out there. Check out:

If you’re able to keep the girl around and you fuck her a few times, she will start to become emotionally attached to you and your connection will become more secure. This is where the challenges of keeping the relationship alive and challenging begin.

Guys who have been in relationships before know that after the honeymoon period of three or four months is over, it is easy for both parties to become progressively more bored. Attention wanders and not longer after, the relationship ends.

This happens for a number of reasons, but if you have sex covered, the main area is that of respect and authority. It is important that your girl respects your authority.

Dominance

Whereas at the beginning of the relationship, she may be feminine and submissive, after a while she may start to refuse your requests, mess you around and be generally annoying. She may start to diverge from your list of characteristics rather than become closer aligned to it.

This is normal. For a girl, it is important that her man remains strong-minded. You have to remain the dominant, outcome-independent leader that she first became interested in. She will probe you to ensure you are solid and resolute. The equivalent with guys is that we are constantly looking at her appearance to reassure ourselves that she is staying slim and good-looking.

Whether we realise it or not, we’re actually making sure that she remains a good option to bear and rear offspring. We’re genetically programmed to do this, so we do it unconsciously, whether we’re interested in marriage and children or not.

What she’s checking for is proof that we’re still an Alpha guy whose genes are good enough to ensure that any offspring will be strong enough to survive birth and thrive in life. Again, she is doing this unconsciously, so never let these so-called “shit-tests” bother you. She’s genetically programmed to do this.

Disipline

If you find that she is beginning to diverge from your list, it is undoubtedly because that you’re no longer meeting the majority of the characteristics on her list.

When it comes to relationships, at the top of the list has to be that you are the dominant player in the relationship. There is no such thing as equal footing in a relationship. There is always one person who is “wearing the trousers”. If you want keep fucking this girl, you need to make sure that it’s you.

This is where Domestic Discipline comes in.

After the relationship has bedded in, your girl will start to do things that are not acceptable to you, in an attempt to see how far she can push you. She’ll slowly try to take command of the relationship until she’s the one in charge and you are the chump.

The good news is that she doesn’t actually want to be in charge. She hates making decisions and has absolute disrespect for a guy she can push around, so it is your job to ensure that none of these little pushes remain unpunished.

When I talk about punishment, I really do mean that you should punish the girl. I’m not talking about beating the shit out of her, locking her up or subjecting her to physical or psychological torture. But it is important that she is disciplined for her misdemeanours.

The process for administering the discipline is quite simple but very specific. You need to follow these steps dogmatically or they won’t have the desired effect.

The Discussion

The very first thing you do is sit down with her and tell her that you have noticed that she has been behaving in an unacceptable fashion. You will tell her that you are talking to her about it to address and correct the issues that you have noticed.

You go through each issue and explain to her why it’s not acceptable to you and ask her if she has a good reason for her misbehaviour. If she apologises and you think she is genuinely sorry, you can choose not to punish her for it. However, if there is a recurrence of the same issue, you must punish her for it next time, or she will think you are weak and will proceed to walk all over you.

After the discussion, you need to count up the number of agreed-upon transgressions and either give her corner-time or a spanking. Try corner-time first. If it’s not a good deterrent, you can escalate to spankings.

Corner-Time

With corner-time, you tell her to sit or stand facing the wall. She is not allowed to talk to you or partake in any other activity during her punishment. Normally you should give her five minutes per transgression.

While she’s serving her punishment, you can go about your life as normal. If she turns around or does anything but look at the wall in silence, you warn her. If you have to warn her twice, you escalate to a spanking.

The Spanking

With a spanking, you sit down in a chair or on the bed and tell her to lie with her stomach across your legs. You can either do it with knickers on or knickers off. I prefer knickers off, as the sting that she gets from skin-to-skin contact is more intense and immediate.

You hold her down with your hand on the back of her neck or on her back. Then you proceed to spank her buttocks, one at a time, alternating from on to the other. I usually use just the palm and of my open hand, but you can use a slipper or paddle if you wish.

Unless this is a repeated misdemeanour, you should use approximately 50% of your strength. The aim is to create a stinging sensation, not to injure her. This isn’t abuse or torture, it is a punishment. The pain subsides less than a minute afterwards and will remain for a couple of hours as a warm sensation in the buttocks, which serves as a reminder.

As a rule of thumb, I will administer six spankings (three for each buttock) per transgression. It’s okay if she sobs or cries out during the punishment, but it is not okay if she struggles. If that happens, you must tell her that if she struggles during punishment, you start again from zero. Then you do exactly that.

When you say you’re going to do something, always carry through with it.

After you have completed the spanking, you release her and let her tidy herself up. Then you tell her to sit facing a wall for two minutes to concentrate on the feeling in her buttocks and to think about what she did to bring on the punishment. You can go and make a cup of tea for yourself.

One note of caution though: You must not engage in spankings as a form of discipline and spankings as part of a sex-act at the same time. You can’t have both in a relationship. If you do, your girl will become very confused and the effectiveness of the punishment will be diminished or destroyed.

Comfort

After either corner-time or a spanking, you must sit down with the girl again, look at her in the eyes and ask her to tell you why you punished her. If she is reticent, you should repeat the misdemeanours to her and then ask her to repeat them. Do this in a calm and neutral way, with plenty of eye contact.

Once this is done, you need to comfort her. Women are emotional beings and this experience will have a profound impact on her. That is the intention.

But you need her to understand that you’re not punishing her because you dislike her. You’re doing it to ensure that you both have a good relationship. She has to understand that you are the boss in the relationship and that she has to be well behaved at all times. It’s usually unnecessary to verbalise this, but this is the overall vibe.

The way that you comfort her is to get physically very close and soothe her. I usually lay her on the bed and put my arms around her. I put her face against my neck and stroke her hair. I tell her stuff like:

“It’s over now.”

”It’s okay.”

“Everything is going to be fine.”

“You did very well, you’re a good girl.”

She will usually be sobbing and may be shaking a little. This is normal. After a while she will calm down and it will be almost like nothing happened. It’s strange how women can go from one extreme to another in a blink of an eye.

Frequently, she will be extra-eager to please you after a punishment and will suck your cock or cook for you spontaneously. If you make Domestic Discipline a normal part of your relationship, she will become a devoted and loving partner. You will notice that shit-tests reduce and your sex-life improves.

To Reiterate

If you follow these guidelines, a relationship can remain fun and exciting for both you and the girl you’re spending your time with. It will create a deep and lasting connection between the both of you. In effect, you are increasing your masculinity and her femininity at the same time, and it is this polarity that creates attraction between you, like a magnet. So, in a nutshell:

  1. Know what you want in a woman.
  2. Give her a great sexual experience.
  3. Be the dominant partner in the relationship.
  4. Discipline her for her misdemeanours.