Archives for October 2014

Public Speaking is a Cure for Social Anxiety.

28th October 2014 By Mort Leave a Comment

After I’d been practising Daygame for six months, I joined a Toastmasters club and participated in their programme once a week until I left Nottingham for the bright lights of London. For those of you who don’t know about Toastmasters, it is an international public speaking group.

I think any beginner to pick-up will benefit vastly from joining and regularly participating in a Toastmaster group.

The way you get better at game is to approach many girls and get the skill-set down. An interaction grows like a tree from the approach to the number close, with each decision made a branch or a twig in your tree. But the approach is the root of your game tree and if you get that right, it makes the rest of your interaction easier.

As I mentioned in my posts Back to Basics, Notes for Beginners and The Importance of Posture, there are a few basic things that you need to be doing rather than saying on your approach which are absolutely essential to get the root of your interactions to be solid.

The Root of Your Game

I’ve covered posture and I’ve covered eye contact, but what about vocal tonality, projection, timing, storytelling and composure?

All of these are skills taught in Toastmasters.

It has been often quoted that for most people; public speaking is a scarier proposition than dying. In actual fact, the feeling that public speaking gave me when I first started was the closest I’ve come to approximating the feeling I got when I started cold approaching women. And it’s for the same reason. Your Ego is scared of being hurt.

When you approach a woman or when you talk in front of a group of people, you are scared that they will scorn and reject you.

This is where Toastmasters can improve your public speaking and get rid of approach anxiety. Every time you stand up to speak at a meeting, you are given full attention and after you sit down, everybody applauds warmly. Soon, you look for more and more opportunities to do a speech because facing your fear and being rewarded for it become addictive. It’s a positive feedback loop.

Toastmasters is more than just a forum for encouraging its members to speak, it is a structured programme. You’re given two books; the “Competent Speaker” and the “Competent Leader”.

Structured Learning and Improvement

The Competent Speaker book has ten speeches for you to do.

They start you off by simply speaking about your background for a couple of minutes. Subsequent speeches emphasise preparation, timing, vocal projection, eye contact, storytelling and all of the skills you need to be able to seduce an audience and a woman.

The Competent Leader book gives the meeting’s non-speakers evaluation and leadership roles to accomplish.

Every meeting there is a Toastmaster who chairs the meeting. Think of this role like a chat-show host. You stand up and open the meeting and then introduce each speaker during the evening. Many people are daunted by this role, but it used to be my favourite, because of the amount of times during a night that I had to push through my fear.

There are other roles such as Grammarian (evaluating use of grammar), Timekeeper (ensuring that speeches don’t over-run) and Ah-counter (counting “um”s and “ah”s used as filler-words).

Then there is the Evaluator role where you have to take notes on a speech, talk about what the Speaker did well and what they could improve on. This helps the Speaker improve their speeches and gives them the ability to take constructive criticism and it also helps the Evaluator to think critically and give balanced praise and criticism.

One other section of every meeting is what Toastmasters call Table-Topics, which is impromptu speaking.

Half a dozen speakers are chosen at random to speak for a minute on a completely unrehearsed topic. This is massively nerve-wracking, but has a fantastic effect on your ability to speak off the top of your head.

You can see how this would benefit your interactions with women, as for example, during the Assumption Story stage of the Daygame Blueprint, you are thrown a subject to talk about and you have to quickly recall or create an amusing or interesting story to enable you to get into rapport with the girl.

Call to Action

All of these roles provide skills which are enormously helpful in your career and social-life, as well as in the seduction of women. If you’ve not been to a Toastmasters meeting before, I recommend that you go.

You can attend for free as a guest for as long as you like before committing to join and even then, the subscription costs are ridiculously low. There are
clubs in almost every country in the world and the UK and the US have hundreds of clubs.

If you’re still suffering from social anxiety and you’ve done lots of approaches but don’t feel like you’re improving, try Toastmasters.

Never Give Up.

22nd October 2014 By Mort Leave a Comment

You’ll never succeed unless you make a concerted effort.

What do I mean by that?

What I mean is you need to decide what you want and then you’ve got to work on it and work on it until you achieve it.

If you can’t remember the last time you achieved anything worthwhile, it’s most likely because either you didn’t choose something specific to aim for or you did choose something but gave up before you achieved it.

I’ll give you two examples.

Why You Fail

I’m always looking for ways to improve and gain a competitive advantage. Usually the best way to learn is from people who have been there and done it.

A good place to find information from good people is by reading their blogs. I can’t tell you how many blogs I’ve read which have excellent content but the number of posts never reaches double figures. The author doesn’t gain a readership and gives up before he gives people a chance to find his material.

Victor Pride didn’t even get a comment on any of his posts until he’d been writing for four months. His website now commands the attention of hundreds of thousands of readers every month.

The same is true of the majority of guys who discover game. They do a lot of reading, watch a lot of videos, browse a lot of forums but never get down to talking to women in a sober state.

Of the small minority who do go out on the street, the majority of those guys fail even to do an approach. Of the ones who do manage to get approaching, many give up before they get laid. Why? Because to get good at seducing women takes effort and persistence. Hours on the street, hundreds of approaches. None of the best PUAs in the world picked it up straight away. They went out and ploughed. They slowly improved and learned.

The Roller-Coaster Effect

I may hear you say:

“But it’s so hard! I get discouraged! I’ve done 400 approaches but I’ve still not gotten laid!”

Just think of it like a roller-coaster. You get on and the ride starts. But you have to wait ages for the cars to be dragged up to the plateau of the first slope. However, you eventually pass the peak and start to drop, and this is where the fun begins.

With Game, you can see the peak coming up if you know where you are in the structure, so there is no reason to be discouraged. Just keep putting in the hours and you’ll get there. Besides, the fun is in seeing yourself improve. Learning and mastering the skill of seduction, seeing and understanding more of the Matrix is the best part. Actually, fucking gets lame if you do it too much, so enjoy the process not the goal.

Change is Inevitable

One final quote that always helps me when I feel like I’m on the road to nowhere, is this one from the Buddha. You don’t have to be Buddhist to agree with this. It’s self evident. But it’s one of those truths that you don’t think of when you’re stuck in the forest and can’t find your way out.

He said:

“Everything arises and passes away.”

When he says everything, he literally means everything. Thoughts, people, nations, worlds. Everything. Nothing stays the same. Given enough time, everything will change. Even seemingly solid and indestructible stone can be eroded by wind and rain, it just takes time.

The same applies to you.

You may think that because you’ve been trying for X days, weeks or months and haven’t achieved what you’re aiming for yet, that you never will.

This is not true.

Your current state of failure has arisen. And it will pass. Eventually you’ll reach the plateau and will be able to roll down the other side.

Recommended Blogs.

12th October 2014 By Mort Leave a Comment

I had a couple of readers ask me what blogs I read regularly so for today’s post I’ll go through each one and tell you what I like about it. There is a lot of good advice out there on the subjects of Game, Masculinity and Self-Development, so you shouldn’t just rely on one source of information.

Krauser

Krauser is a popular Daygamer who can be found at krauserpua.com – he’s been around a long time, about the same amount of time as Tom Torero, but not as long as Yad. Unlike Tom, who mostly does vlogs on his YouTube channel, Krauser does write articles and posts. You can go back to pretty much his first days teaching himself pickup in 2009 and if you have the time and patience to go through his posts, it makes interesting reading to follow his progression.

What I like about Krauser is his masculine style. Whereas Yad has been justifiably accused of being “a bit gay”, Krauser’s writing and videos show a dominance, masculinity and misogyny that I can empathise with. He doesn’t post as regularly as he used to do at the moment and he tends to do more vlogs than he used to do. This is probably because he seems to be spending a lot of time writing books on pickup, which he self-publishes on Lulu.

I myself bought his Daygame Mastery book and although the price is a hefty £60.00, I believe that the quality and quantity of the content makes it worth the price. Krauser has successfully combined pickup and business together to put himself on a seemingly permanent early retirement in which he travels Europe practicing and developing his game and banging hot chicks.

Roosh

Roosh is an old-school PUA who still has relevance today. He has been posting for an astonishingly long time. Articles on his current site (www.rooshv.com) go back to 2006 and his old site goes back to 2005, so this is a guy with a lot of experience. He favours Night Game but also has experience with Daygame and posts every two or three days.

What makes him unique is that unlike almost all of the old-school PUAs from the early to mid 2000s who retired or settled down and disappeared, Roosh is still going out and banging women with no sign of a permanent detour into blue-pill monogamy. Sure, he likes to gripe about his way of life and often changes his views on life, but this is part of his charm. He has a slightly dour tone to his writing and vlogs, but remains an inspiring figure.

As one of the first PUAs to start making a living from writing books, he is obviously the inspiration for guys like Krauser, Tom Torero and the like. He has recently been spending a lot of time in Poland and the Ukraine, but has been to many countries in Europe and South America and has written books about gaming local girls for almost every place he’s been to.

Xpat / Xsplat

I’m never sure what to call this guy but he’s been around for a long time also. When you read self-development books, they often tell you to find a mentor or read about people who inspire you and lead the kind of life that you would like for yourself. This is true with the previous two bloggers in the short-term, but Xsplat (xsplat.wordpress.com) is the leading the kind of life I would like to see myself living in the long-term.

He shares my desire for a small harem of two or three girls and has actually been living this exact lifestyle for a number of years. He also has an answer for what happens to PUAs after they get old. A man’s SMV (sexual marketplace value) comprises of many factors, including looks, fame, game and money. If you have fame, you don’t need much else to get girls. If you have looks, the same applies, but obviously looks only last a short time. If you have game, you can get girls half your age into your thirties and forties, but eventually the quantity and quality decreases.

Xsplat is in his fifties but he is still fucking eighteen year olds, because he has game and because he also has money. As a successful businessman, he games girls and if he has an opening in his harem, he installs the girl in an apartment and pays for her expenses, leaving her free to look after him and be his mistress.

He never reveals any suspicion that his girls may be fucking younger guys also, but seems to be doing well. He has spent a lot of time practicing Qigong and combines this with his extensive sexual experience to makes his girls highly emotionally attached to him. So, it’s possible that he has his girls’ undivided attention. Either way, he’s been writing since 2003 and his posts are often very deep and inspiring.

Danger & Play

I like Danger & Play (www.dangerandplay.com) because Mike is very much into improvement and success. Ever since I read Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway, I’ve been trying to find people who are inspiring to be with. I’ve met some great guys since then, but there are many more online who are walking the walk. Mike of Danger & Play is one of them. He’s pushing his boundaries, trying new things and then reporting back for his readers.

Building muscle is one of the things I talked about in my last post and Mike knows a lot about this. He even seems to wear his gym clothes 24/7! But he goes beyond lifting weights and talks about nutrition and steroids also. He doesn’t talk about Game much but has a lot to say about inner-game and masculinity.

He is a very prolific writer, so there always seems to be something new to read every day. This can be good for entertainment but it can sometimes mean that his posts are a little short or he covers old ground. On the whole though, I like his vibe.

Bold and Determined

This, (boldanddetermined.com) has probably been my favourite blog since I started reading it earlier this year. Victor Pride is a legendary figure to anybody who has read any of the articles on his site.

The site itself is really well designed and very professional looking. Bold and Determined is a similar site to Danger & Play, as they cover the same area of masculinity, self-development, business and success. Victor talks a lot about strengthening your mind, and as this has been my own focus for the last ten years, I have a real affinity with him and his writing.

He post a lot less than Mike does but emphasises that he tries to deliver quality over quantity, which is a philosophy I admire. Similar to Xsplat, he lives in Asia and has a very dominant, traditional attitude towards women. He expects his girl to cook, clean up and satisfy him while he works to put food on the table and pay for their living.

One thing you’ll notice if you go to his site is he has pictures of himself on the side panel and he’s built like a brick shit-house. I remember from one of his articles he says:

“If you’re a skinny guy you’re just a target.”

That really struck home and was one of the reasons I started working out again. A lot of guys work out because girls love it, but there is also the flipside that if you’re big, nobody messes with you.

He also has a couple of books. One on weight lifting and another called 30 Days of Discipline which aims to change the average guy into a force of nature. I got it and did the challenge and it really did have a massive positive effect on my life. As I’ve read a lot of self-development literature in my time, I already knew all of the concepts he talks about in the book, but like most people, I’d not put them all into action. Doing the challenge in 30 Days of Discipline is not easy, but it’s definitely worthwhile.

Don’t Become a Blog Addict

If you like those sites and want more, there is a nice list on www.manosphere.com. However, a word of warning. It’s easy to make a list of thirty sites that you read regularly, but you’ll find that you spend all of your time reading and no time at all doing.

As Tom Torero said once, your ratio should be 20% learning and 80% doing.

Cut down your time on the internet. Take one thing you learn and try to implement it in your life over an extended period of time. Try and spend most of your time being productive. Like I said in my post Action vs. Reaction, achievers are producers.

I’d like to hope that you, my dear reader are a producer.

Six Things You Can Do To Increase Your Success Rate.

7th October 2014 By Mort Leave a Comment

In the real world, things are messy. They’re multi-levelled with many variables and convolutions.

The same is true of seducing women.

I’ve been interested in languages for a while now. I’m learning Mandarin Chinese at the moment. Before Chinese, I was studying Japanese (both for the purpose of meeting and talking to Asian girls).

When I was attempting to acquire proficiency in Japanese, I read a great book called How to Learn Any Language – Quickly, Easily, Inexpensively, Enjoyably and On Your Own by Barry Farber. Barry recommends that you attack a language from as many angles as possible. He said you should fully immerse yourself in the language by listening to audio courses, reading grammar and vocabulary books, watching films and listening to audio in the language of your choice.

For the most success in learning how to seduce women, you should do a similar thing.

Immerse Yourself

Firstly (at least in the beginning), you should try to immerse yourself as much as possible. One thing that I noticed all of the really good Daygamers say is that their first couple of years were very intense. They either had no job and went out every day all day to game or like myself, they had a job and went out all day both weekend days. Once you have your skill level up, you can calm down a little, but immersion is a key element.

Secondly, you need to attack the problem from many angles. Here are five areas which you can work on simultaneously to increase the success rate you will have with women.

Get Better at Game

This is obvious really. To get better at seducing women, you need some game. There are plenty of different systems out there which will give you a framework to progress with. Daygame is one of them. You can find out why I personally do Daygame here.

For a beginner, I think it is important that you have a structure that you can follow. It’s like the training wheels (we call them stabilisers in the UK) you had on your bike when you were a kid. You learn to ride the bike with the stabilisers on, then when you have mastered the technique, you take them off and after a period of adjustment, you can ride on two wheels.

It’s the same with game. The structure of your seduction methodology (like for example, the Daygame Blueprint) is your training wheels, and when you can work through it from approach to fuck without thinking about it, it’s time to slowly drop it and become more natural.

Move To a Place Where There Are More Girls That You Like

When it comes down to it, any seduction philosophy involves a certain amount of chance. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar. Not every girl you meet will want to fuck you, no matter what super-powers you may possess. In essence it’s a numbers game, but the odds are weighted by the things I am discussing in this post.

As the odds of you getting laid increase with the number of girls you talk to, it can sometimes simply be a case of speaking to as many girls as you can before the inevitable happens. But you’re not attracted to all of the girls you see on the street.

So, the solution is to either go to a larger city in your country, maybe the capital city, where there is more choice of girls. Alternatively, go to a large city in a foreign country which has the girls you like.

In my case, I like Asian girls. There are almost none in my home city (Leicester in the UK), so I moved to London where there are many. Eventually when I’ve learned Chinese well enough and my business is doing sufficiently well, I’ll move to Shanghai, Beijing or some other large city in China.

Dress Better

In reality, you can dress however you want within reason and still have a good chance of getting a girl if you have covered the other areas in this post. But we’re all about incremental increase, so even a small improvement might improve your results dramatically.

I used to be a baggy jeans, t-shirt and trainers (sneakers) guy. In fact when I first started going out to meet girls, this is what I wore. What I noticed was that most of the girls who gave me their numbers tended to dress like me.

The problem was that I wanted girls who dressed a little bit more classily. The kind of girl who would shop at Zara for example; a feminine but smart style. So, I began to look around at current fashion trends and also looked at classic actors like Clarke Gable or James Stewart.

I decided a smart but casual style was the way to go and got myself a blazer (smart sports jacket), some slim fit jeans, a smart shirt and some shiny shoes. Now, I walk down the street and get IOIs (indicators of interest) from many girls who dress exactly the way I like them to.

Look Better

There are a lot of good looking guys out there who don’t have any game and can get girls into bed just because of their looks and their physique.

Most PUAs aren’t that lucky though.

Many of us tend to be skinny and geeky looking, as we’re mostly the intelligent introverted type. This means that this area can give you a vast increase in your allure and attractiveness to women.

I have bad eyesight, I used to have really bad acne and I was really skinny without any muscles.

When I was in my late teens I went to the doctor about the acne and eventually after trying many different pills and creams, he put me on Roaccutane (Accutane). A course on these pills cured my acne for life.

I’m really short-sighted. I either have to wear glasses with really thick lenses or I have to wear contact lenses. I’ve been doing the latter since I was sixteen years old. When my business starts to make more money, I’m going to get laser treatment.

Over the last couple of years I’ve been sporadically going to the gym. I’m going more regularly now and am starting to fill out and gain more muscle, but already I am noticing more IOIs from women. It seems that just a small amount more muscle will raise you above the average and make a difference to those eagle-eyed women.

I was lucky to have a good dentist when I was a kid, so my teeth are straight, but for those of you who have crooked teeth, go to the dentist and get them sorted out. Don’t worry about having to wear a brace for a few months. It’s better to have to go through that than to live with fucked-up teeth.

Masculinity / Inner Game

When it comes to women, the most attractive thing a man can have is masculinity and self-confidence. This is the basis for all direct game seduction systems. No tricks or routines, just pure, honest masculinity.

You have to learn to be unapologetic about your desires. You have to know what you want in a woman and know how to deal with them. You have to be a guy who sets and achieves goals and is in a constant state of self-improvement. You need to be trying to improve your station in life and push your boundaries, facing fear head on.

Much of this can be learned from simply putting your balls on the line and going out to try and meet women, but there are many other ways of learning to embrace your masculinity:

Extreme sports, building a business, public speaking and travel are a small list of things that you can do to increase your confidence and make you feel like a man. The key is to examine your life and make a list of the things that scare you. Areas of your life that you are weak at and are constantly trying to avoid. Then one by one, push yourself to engage each of these things.

So, if you want to get better with women, don’t focus on just one thing; work on all of the above and you will soon notice that the rate of improvement in your results will increase dramatically.