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If You Hesitate, You Masturbate.

30th November 2014 By Mort Leave a Comment

Yesterday, I went out to tread the streets of London and talk to attractive young women with another guy I’ve been mentoring.

He’s at the stage where he’s been able to overcome approach anxiety by going out with a wing and taking it in turns to push each other, but he finds it impossible to force himself to approach women on his own. He’s not got many mental hang-ups which will hinder his progress and he’s a good listener, so I don’t think it will be long before he’s able to accomplish this and push on from there.

This post summarises and expands upon one particular thing that happened whilst we were walking along Oxford Street looking for women that we’d like to meet. When you get to a certain level, it’s sometimes hard to realise that some concepts and strategies that you have internalised and take for granted are not so obvious to less experienced guys and this was a particular case in point.

How I Coach Guys to Approach Girls

The way that I usually deal with a guy who has a problem motivating himself to approach, is just to ask him what kind of girls he likes and to tell me if he sees one.

Often his mind will stop him from verbalising when he sees a girl who is attractive to him, but I’ll usually see him do a double take (he looks at a girl, looks away and then looks at her again) on a particular girl and I know what’s up. Either that, or when I see a girl who comes close to his description of what he likes, I’ll point her out and ask him if she’s his type.

Whatever happens, once we’ve identified a girl for him to approach, it normally just takes as little as a physical push in the back and for me to say “Go!” to get him to take action. Sometimes I have to use other methods, as the mind is a powerful thing. For example, I’ll ask him what’s stopping him. It’s usually something really trivial and a bit of logic is usually enough to break it down. Sometimes it takes a little motivation or philosophy.

I’ll always do a few approaches myself before I expect anybody to trust me enough to push them into doing something that they’re scared of. Once you see someone do something that you fear and emerge unscathed, you start to reverse the damage that an overactive mind can do to your motivation levels.

This is why it’s important to concentrate during your first few months on approaching as many girls as you can, because what you are doing is convincing your mind that going up to an attractive woman and talking to her isn’t going to hurt you.

There are other reasons to approach a lot of girls. For example, I’ve talked before about how to learn any skill, whether it’s seduction, tennis, writing, cooking or anything; you have to practice over and over again.

You have to take action, observe the result of that action and compare the action and the result against the ideal action and the ideal result. So for example, when you do a Yad stop* on a girl but you don’t leave enough space (the action), the girl will be startled (the result). So, you analyse this, and you modify your next approach (action) and see if you get a better response (result).

This brings me on to the subject of the post, which is to do with hesitation.

Kill Your Hesitation

When I see a girl that I like, I have trained myself such that I will immediately, without thinking, start to make my way towards her. How one comes to this stage is something that I’ll go into throughout this post, but to get back to me and my protege standing on Oxford Street, I saw a young looking, tall blonde (his type of girl) walking away from us, down the street. I pointed to her and said to him “There! Go and talk to her.” He’d already done a few approaches that day, so he didn’t have a problem to just start running in her direction.

I say ‘running’, but it was really a kind of fast walk, as anybody who has been to Oxford Street on a Saturday evening will testify; it’s often difficult to move because of the throng of people. We’d mostly been doing Front stops or Yad stops* since we met up as it’s my policy not to go to Oxford Street on a Saturday until after 6pm, as during the day, there are noobs and boot-camps going on there which can taint some of the girls.

We’d been spending our time wandering around Soho, Covent Garden, Seven Dials, Chinatown, Leicester Square, Piccadilly and the bottom end of Regent Street and there was plenty of room to Yad stop any girl we wanted to meet. In contrast, once we reached Oxford Street, it was still busy enough to make it difficult to catch the girl and almost impossible to get in front of her and do a proper Yad stop.

As he was in pursuit, I followed him to hold him to task if he didn’t approach and to be able to give him some feedback if he did. He was following her for ages through the horde of people, trying to find an opportunity to get past her, get in front and do a Yad stop. It must have been a couple of minutes that he was walking behind her looking for the opportunity and I knew that the longer it took, the less likely it was that he would approach.

Limiting Beliefs

When you’re inexperienced, if you wait before approaching a girl, your mind will start giving you excuses as to why you should give up, and the longer you wait, the more these excuses compound. The way that you defeat these experiences is by facing them head on.

If for example, your mind tells you that she’ll think you’re weird, you approach anyway, charm her and take her number, then go on a date with her and bang her. At some point, you’ll talk about guys she’s met before and she’ll compare you to the weirdos, firmly placing you in the ‘not weird’ camp and other guys in the ‘weird’ camp. The more times a hot girl reassures you that in actual fact, approaching and seducing her like you did was far from weird, the more likely your mind will be to accept it.

If for example, you think you’re too old, too short, too ugly, or whatever physical attribute you have that your mind is telling you will stop a girl liking you, then the solution, as always, is to take action. When you get a good response from the girl, it’s like you’re slapping this limiting belief that you have in the face. When you’ve slapped it enough times, it’ll say “Okay! I give up. I was talking shit.”

You can follow this path with every limiting belief you have. You’ll be amazed at the sheer number and variety your mind can conjure up.

Also, to get back to my protege, he was walking right behind the girl.

Even I know when there’s somebody following me, and I’m a guy. A woman will know very quickly if she’s being followed.

It’s called stalking. Don’t do it.

Stalking and Losing Sight of the Girl

Even if you do a flawless approach, if she thinks you were stalking her, she’s going to blank you and walk away. A woman’s intuition is ten times more powerful that a guy’s, so if you’re going to follow a girl while you look for an opportunity to stop her, you’ve either got to ensure that it’s only for a short period of time, or you have to drop back and keep a couple of people between you and her, but keep her in sight until the time is right.

One other thing that often happens is that the girl goes into a shop or turns a corner while you’re distracted and you lose sight of her. Obviously if you see her go into a shop, you can approach her in the shop, but this is often beyond limits for beginners. Don’t worry, you can fix that too. Just concentrate on street approaches for the time being.

To get back to our story, the girl crossed the road to a section of pavement where there were less people. I lost sight of them both, but moments later I saw my protege coming back and I asked him what happened. It was a combination of excuses that got the better of him, plus her going into a shop and one other thing, a lack of…

Knowledge

What knowledge was he lacking? The Yosha Stop*.

You’ll notice the asterisks after I talk about a specific method stopping a girl. This is because I’ll talk about these stops at the end of the post. After all, the post is about hesitation. As you can see, hesitating before you come face-to-face with a girl can be deadly (not literally, of course). You have to be able to limit the amount of time between you seeing a girl that you want to meet and actually meeting her.

There are four things that you can do to lessen the likelihood of you not talking to the girl:

  1. Start walking in her direction immediately after you see her.
  2. Approach her as soon as you can.
  3. Have a variety of methods of getting her attention.
  4. Be able to approach in any environment.

The way most people learn to approach in the beginning is by getting someone to push them. When you don’t have a wing to help you out though, you learn to adopt the ‘Three Second Rule’.

This is a rule which was first espoused by Mystery for nightclub game, whereby every time you see a girl that you like, you make yourself start walking towards her before you can count to three. This stops you from convincing yourself not to approach and over time it becomes a knee-jerk reaction, almost like a Pavlovian response.

As I’ll talk about at the end of the post, there are a number of ways to approach a girl in the street, depending on circumstances. There are yet more ways to meet a girl in other places, like a cafe, a women’s clothing store, in a tube train, etc, but I won’t go into those here. I’ll save that for another post.

The important thing to remember though, is this:

If you hesitate, you masturbate.

Stopping the Girl

*Here follows a quick recap on the three main methods of approaching a girl on the street, if you’re not aware of the definitions.

Before I start, I’m going to say something that I believe, but which few people talk about: I think that when you approach a girl, the effect is considerably more powerful if you do it from directly in front of her. The further you are from being face-to-face when you deliver your line, the less powerful your approach will be. All three of the following stops try to facilitate that.

The front stop is usually used in one of two scenarios.

The first scenario is that you see a stationary girl who is facing you. You walk up to her and start talking to her.

The second scenario is that you’re walking along and you see a girl that you like in the distance, walking towards you.

As I said above, you have to make sure that if you’re not directly in her path; you navigate to ensure that you are on a collision course with her. Then you keep on walking until you come close enough for her to notice your intent. You give her strong eye contact, smile, put your hand out in front of you, stop at a comfortable distance and deliver your opener in a strong, clear voice.

I usually only use the front stop on stationary girls or girls that I have absolutely no doubt that I want to meet. It’s actually a really nice way of stopping a girl as you can feel the hairs on the back of your neck bristle when you lock eyes with her. You really get that heightened feeling of tension and anticipation because you both know what’s about to happen.

The Yad stop is an approach that I first saw demonstrated by Yad, who is the founder of the London Daygame community.

The scenario is that you see a girl that you like; it can be from the front, from behind, from across the street, wherever. In essence, you get in front of her and stop her like the front stop, but she doesn’t get a chance to see you coming and prepare for it. This is the stop that I use the most on the street. Let me explain.

For me, what I really like in a woman is a nice pair of tits, a slim figure, long black or red hair, pale skin and a classy, feminine way of dressing. A skirt or dress is almost a prerequisite. That’s what I like, but the main thing I don’t like is a big fat arse.

This makes the Yad stop ideal, because if I see a girl walking towards me, I can study her and check whether she matches the criteria that I’m looking for and then let her pass and look back to see if she has a fat arse. If has a cute arse, then I’ll do the Yad stop.

So, I see her coming, I look her up and down blatantly, maybe give her eye contact to suss out potential interest levels, let her walk past and then check out her arse. If she checks all the boxes, I’ll immediately break into a run or a pacey walk depending on how quickly she’s moving and catch up with her.

As I’m passing her, I look at her ready to engage eye contact. Once I pass her, I hold out my hand, partly to stop her and partly to gauge my distance from her. The aim is to be at least an arm length and a half in front of her. Then come round in an arc, turning my body as I go, until I’m facing her, directly in front of her, not at an angle. I stop moving and deliver my opener in a loud, clear voice.

As I’m in the state of movement, I’m mentally checking my posture, making sure I’m smiling (if she’s hot you’ll smile anyway) and thinking about what I can use in my assumption stack.

The other reason I like this approach is because I imagine that for a girl it can feel quite romantic. It conjures up all of those romantic books and films that she’s read or watched where a guy sees the girl of his dreams and although he’s stunned by her beauty at first, he runs after her and woos her with his charm and masculinity.

The Yosha stop seems to be rarely used or talked about. I’m not sure whether many people use it, but if executed correctly, it can be a useful tool. It’s named after Andy Yosha (who now calls himself Andy Moore, his real name), Yad’s first wing, who formalised the Daygame Blueprint (which is a structured approach to meeting girls on the street), and who runs Daygame.com.

I only ever use this approach in the scenario that my protege found himself on Oxford Street, where you simply can’t get in front of the girl.

You approach from behind and once you come level with her so that you’re shoulder to shoulder, you turn towards her. Then you gently put the tips of the fingers of the hand that was furthest away from her in the crook of her elbow and apply some pressure so she feels you physically stopping her, but not grabbing her. Simultaneously, you point backwards with your other hand as if motioning that something has happened behind her, which you are bringing to her attention.

Of course, as with all approaches, you should have good posture, a smile and give her direct eye contact when she looks toward you.

If you do all this correctly, she will stop and turn to face you, so that you are now face-to-face, at right angles to the direction she was originally travelling. More often than not, she’ll look in the direction you are pointing, but as she stops, you have to immediately deliver your opener in a loud, clear voice which will be a variation on this: “I just saw you back there (in the direction you’re pointing) and”.. blah, blah, blah. The usual stuff. Now you’ve stopped her, she’s facing you and you’re delivering your opener.

Perfect.

Filed Under: Inner Game, Outer Game

Habits.

21st November 2014 By Mort Leave a Comment

Habits can be heaven or hell.

Learning how to ingrain good habits and remove bad habits is a very useful skill. One that I will teach you in this post.

The first question is, what is a habit?

Dictionary.com defines it thus:

“A habit is an acquired behaviour pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary”.

Habits vs. Addictions

Bad habits can literally ruin your life. Take smoking for example. I used to be a smoker for nine years from the age of 21-30. Personally I don’t think smoking is addictive. I think it’s a habit.

If you let an addiction take hold of you, even if you abstain from the thing you’re addicted to, you will still want to partake in it again for the rest of your life. Think of something like Heroin.

It wasn’t easy to quit smoking, but I did it, and although I would sometimes dream of being a smoker for years afterwards, I’ve never had any urge to light a cigarette since then.

On the other hand, good habits can propel your life in a positive direction. Just think of habitually going to the gym, eating healthily, talking to hot women, etc. Turning those activities into habits will definitely enhance your life.

Fortunately, as the quote above declares, habits are acquired. You have to do something over and over again for it to become a habit. If you acquire a habit, you will keep on doing it without thinking about it.

How to Make or Break a Habit

The first thing you should do is analyse your life and write a list (I love lists) of habits that you would like to acquire and habits that you would like to remove.

The key to habits is repetition. You need to repeat that activity for at least thirty days before it becomes continuous. It’s like those antique cars where you have to crank a handle to make the engine start. Once you’ve cranked, the engine will run until you stop it.

To remove a bad habit, you have to abstain from doing that activity for at least thirty days.

To acquire a good habit, you have to do that activity every day for at least thirty days.

It’s as easy as that. Or is it?

Well, no, not really. I’m sure you’ve made New Year’s resolution before. And I’m sure you’ve not followed through on hardly any of those resolutions also. Why?

Because you weren’t motivated enough.

Don’t Wait Until You’re Desperate

You’re not going to do anything unless you wanted it enough. When I decided to learn Game, it was because I was sick of scarcity and neediness with regards to women. I’d been in three long-term live-in relationships which I stayed in despite knowing that they were with the wrong girl. I didn’t want to go without sex though so I just stuck in the relationship even though the women got on my nerves more and more it progressed.

Eventually I got tired of cheating myself to fulfill my desire, so I did a full turn and decided never to get into a relationship again unless the girl was of very high calibre. She had to have what I wanted from a woman. This backfired and I went almost four years without sex. So I got super frustrated and decided that no matter what, I was going to get this sorted out.

This is the kind of motivation you need.

The problem is that you don’t want to have to go through this amount of frustration and trauma to make or break a habit. So how do you do it?

Self Motivation

I learned how to break even deeply rooted habits from a book by Ken Keyes called the Handbook to Higher Consciousness. The book is another of those ‘New Thought’ books along the lines of Maxwell Maltz’s Psycho-Cybernetics, Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret and U. S. Andersen’s Three Magic Words. Ken himself is a massive Beta as you will realise if you read his biography, but the information I learned from the Handbook to Higher Consciousness was really valuable.

To motivate yourself enough to follow your habit for thirty days, you need to include visualisation and a massive amount of very strong emotion. So, you see the outcome you want in as much detail as you can in your mind and then inject very intense emotion.

So for example, you want to go to the gym regularly, you visualise yourself waking up early every day, smiling, getting up and going to the gym, working out and seeing your body grow. But you also add very strong emotion. I’m talking about tensing your body up, screaming, shouting, crying, laughing, cheering, rolling around on the floor kind of intensity; exactly like you would if you’d just experienced a massive trauma or a massive victory.

When you think about it, this exactly what you did in the past to make any kind of massive change in your life, except this time you’re doing it on purpose, not as a result of external circumstances. Don’t ask me why it takes this kind of over-the-top emotional outpouring to program your brain into realising that what you’re visualising is what you really want to happen, but it does.

If the thought of doing this makes you really self-conscious, drive out into the countryside, climb a steep hill and do it where nobody can see or hear you. Do this a few times and you’ll have no trouble motivating yourself to make or break that habit.

Filed Under: Self-Development

The Boyfriend Objection.

16th November 2014 By Mort Leave a Comment

One of the guys that I’m mentoring sent me an email about a couple of girls whose numbers he’d taken. He was concerned about gaming girls who had told him that they were in a serious relationship. This is a common issue that I will address in this post.

If you’ve ever spent a day out on the street approaching hot girls, you can be sure to have received the ‘Boyfriend Objection’ at some point. ‘Objection’ is sales-speak for any excuse or reason that a prospect gives for rejecting your pitch. I remember when I was a door-to-door salesman, one of the trainers regaled with gusto tales of how he’d blast objections and get sales. He bragged that his speciality was overcoming objections.

He said that normally, an objection isn’t real; the prospect simply doesn’t have enough information yet to see the value of the product. So, he makes sure he listens to the objection and repeats it back to the prospect to make sure that they know he understands their problem. Then he addresses their concern by telling a story which demonstrates the value of the product with regard to their objection.

Game is Sales

The same is true when you are out on the street approaching women. What you are essentially doing is selling yourself to them. The difference between what my sales-trainer was telling me and what happens during a seduction is that on the street, you have to overcome her objections before she gives them.

This sentence doesn’t make sense on the face of it. How can you even know what her objections will be? Well, they’re always the same objections. If you know what it is that a woman is looking for in a man, you can preload your game to display those qualities before she even has a chance to open her mouth.

This is why displaying strong eye contact, good posture, a loud clear voice, slow deliberate speech patterns, composure, humour, directness and social awareness is important right at the beginning of the seduction. Within the first ten seconds, you should have bundled all of these things in. If you do it right, you come across as a brave, confident, charming, self-assured guy, which is what every (sane) girl is looking for.

Boom! Objections begone!

If you find yourself having to deal with objections after the approach and your first few lines, you’re already trying to climb a slippery pole. Don’t be the guy who is always trying to claw back a failing sarge. Play the game on the front foot. Be a man of action, not reaction. There are lots of objections a girl can give you, but the main one is the ‘Boyfriend Objection’.

Why a Girl Gives You The Boyfriend Objection

There are two main points in your initial interaction with a girl where she will tell you “I have a boyfriend”. During the first thirty seconds after your approach and when you try to take her number.

When a girl gives you this objection at the start of your interaction, what she is essentially saying is:

“I’m not attracted to you. You’ve not done a good enough job of portraying your good qualities to me.”

But what she actually says is “I have a boyfriend”.

Girls have this programmed into their head and they just blurt it out as a knee-jerk response to bad game. In the same way as we’d say “No” to a beggar asking for change. We don’t think about it.

You have to remember that women are very indirect. They’re physically weak and telling a guy to “Fuck off” or telling him “I don’t like you, you fucking weirdo, get lost” isn’t going to win them any favours. The guy could go nuts and hurt her. So, she just says “I have a boyfriend” and most guys will just shrug their shoulders, say “Okay… It was nice meeting you” and walk off. The girl saves time and goes back about her day.

I can’t remember the last time I got this objection at the beginning of an interaction. The reason is because my approach is solid. I’ve worked on it hard and now it’s consistent. My body automatically knows what to do, so I don’t have to think about it anymore and I can just concentrate on the girl.

Muscle Memory

This is simply muscle-memory. If you’ve ever done martial arts, you know how effective this can be. You train a certain block thousands of times per year and when the situation arises that you need to protect a certain part of your body from attack, your body automatically blocks.

This happened to me recently. I was on the Tube and a guy’s elbow shot towards my face after the train stopped abruptly. He was holding onto a loop attached to the ceiling of the car and as the train jerked to a halt, his elbow flew in an arc towards my face which was nearby. Without warning, my arm lept up in a circle and batted the elbow out of the way, with surprising force. So much so that the momentum carried the guy’s arm and body away and he fell, sprawling into another passenger.

When you do thousands of approaches and you concentrate on refining each part of your game, your game becomes automatic like this.

When I first started out though, it was a different matter entirely. Most of the girls I approached had boyfriends. I thought to myself “I can’t believe how many chicks have boyfriends”. I, like most aspiring PUAs scoured internet forums for witty comebacks that I could give to the girl when she told me she had a boyfriend. None of them ever work. The key is to refine your game. Preload your interaction to portray your value and attractiveness.

Are You Shiny Enough?

The second place in the interaction that a girl usually gives you this objection is when you try to take her number, or any other make-or-break point where you try to escalate to a higher level of possible intimacy. Usually, this means that she actually does have a boyfriend.

Two scenarios are usually prevalent here.

The first is that you’ve come across a girl who has a really strong relationship with her man, she’s deeply satisfied with him and wouldn’t consider cheating on him under any circumstances. Of course this could change, but for the moment, that’s how it stands.

The second is that she’s in a relationship with a guy but she’s not totally happy with it. You’ve come along and impressed her enough to make her want to spend ten or fifteen minutes in your company, but in the end, you’ve not portrayed enough value to make her want to explore intimacy with you.

If you really like this girl, you could take her details anyway and try to play long-game with her in case either her relationship becomes less satisfactory or you manage to increase your shininess in her eyes. This sometimes works, but personally I find this to be too much effort and I just let the girl go.

Again, the solution is to work on your game so that it is rock solid from approach to number-close. I still get boyfriend objections at the end of an interaction, but not very often anymore. The girl could be going out with a six foot plus chisel-jawed ex-model, a real alpha who has high social status and lots of money, in which case you just can’t compete. This is a good reason to work on business and go to the gym as well as practice your game. Your SMV can be increased in many ways.

Stop Thinking Like a Beta

I still get guys who say to me “I’d never fuck a girl who had a boyfriend anyway. I don’t want to be a relationship destroyer”.

Obviously these guys are still thinking back to their Beta days where an ex-girlfriend cheated on them with a higher value guy and they still remember how this feels. They vowed never to be that ‘other guy’ who caused them so much pain.

The fact is though, that it wasn’t his ex-girlfriend or the ‘other guy’ that caused him the pain in the first place. It was him. If he had been a fucking awesome man, his woman would never consider looking at other guys, let alone sleeping with them. He would never have found himself being cheated on.

I’ve fucked a lot of girls. None of them (except one) said they had boyfriends.

But how do I know whether they did or not? The girl could be cheating on her boyfriend with me and I’d have no clue.

The reason she might have done it is because she still wants the security of a boyfriend but she just can’t pass up the opportunity to have sexual intimacy with a real high quality alpha guy when the opportunity arises. She might secretly harbour a hope that she can entice you into a monogamous relationship with her, ultimately replacing the other guy.

Most girls will trade up if they get the opportunity.

Put Yourself in Her Shoes

Imagine you were dating some Plain-Jane that you met through social circle. She’s okay in bed, she’s not a great cook, she watches too much TV and she tends to nag you too much, but you’ve known her for a while and feel comfortable her. Besides, you don’t have any better options.

Then one day you’re at the supermarket alone, you brush past a ridiculously hot chick and she drops her shopping on the floor. As you stoop to help her pick up her stuff you get into conversation with her. She has massive round tits, long legs and a sweet arse. She dresses really sexily; just how you like a woman to dress. She has beautiful flowing long hair, deep seductive eyes that make you hard and a mouth that you could kiss all day long.

You feel yourself sweating while you chat to her but she stands there batting her eyelids, smiling and playing with her hair while your stutter your replies. Eventually you decide to eject and tell her it was nice to meet her but as you part, she slips you a business card with her number on it and tells you to call her so you can meet up for some ‘fun’. Do you say “Sorry, I have a girlfriend”, or do you take it eagerly, go home and dream about her all night?

Exactly. You meet up with the girl of your dreams and bang the living shit out of her.

You May Never Know the Truth

The one girl that I laid who told me she had a boyfriend but let me fuck her anyway was the exception to the rule, I think. Usually if you sleep with a girl, she’s either single, playing the field or has a boyfriend but doesn’t tell you.

This girl happened to be in a long term relationship with a guy who had a certain amount of value, but whom had to spend more than half a year at a time abroad for work. She was a very horny woman with a high libido and going without sexual release for months on end must have been torturous for her. We had a lot of fun together and she was a fuck buddy for six months before I left Nottingham to live in London.

So, as you can see, the ‘Boyfriend Objection’ has more to it than first meets the eye.

Women are very complex and they just don’t think like guys do. You can’t try to label them with your own standards. Even if you don’t want to fuck girls who are seeing other guys, you may not have a choice. If you don’t care either way, when your game is good enough, you’ll be able to have a lot of fun and rarely hear that objection ever again.

Filed Under: Outer Game

Positive Self Image and Strong Belief.

12th November 2014 By Mort Leave a Comment

Girls like guys who like themselves.

When I talk about liking yourself, people generally think I mean being narcissistic or arrogant. And if you’ve developed a strong positive self-image, people will sometimes consider you to be one or the other. But if you’ve attained that level of inner-strength, you’re not likely to be bothered about what people think about you anyway.

If you really were a narcissist, your self image would be based on vanity and your Ego would definitely be a major influence in your life. Usually your self-image would be based around some temporary attribute like good looks or academic prowess. Over time, these attributes fade and the narcissist suffers from a crisis as his self-image crumbles about him.

A genuine, strong self-image has little to do with the Ego and comes mainly from self-approval.

Everyone Starts Somewhere

I remember when I was a teenager, I thought highly of myself but there was always a feeling of self-doubt in the back of my mind. I knew I had the potential to be great but had so far failed to prove it. I would still look to others for praise when I accomplished anything. I was easily swayed by the opinions of others.

If I thought that I was one thing and someone told me otherwise, I would have a crisis of confidence. If I had an opinion about something and someone else challenged it, I would withdraw it or timidly agree with them. I know Bruce Lee said “Be like water”, but this isn’t what he meant. He was talking about adapting to circumstances, whereas all I was doing was lacking conviction.

So, to build a positive self-image, you not only have to like yourself for who you are, but you must do it with conviction.

Maybe you’re thinking to yourself:

“Yeah but I’ve done some shitty things in my life.”

Well, you’re not alone. Everybody has done something in their life that they’re not proud of. You’ve just got to accept it, forgive yourself and get on with your life. You can’t change your past. But you can change your future by resolving to act in a more positive and constructive way right now. Always be improving and learning from your mistakes.

You’re Already Awesome

So now you’ve forgiven yourself for your past, you need to get a piece of paper and a pen, think deeply about your life and write down all of the things you’ve ever done that you’re proud of. Once you’ve done that, imagine being in that situation again and feel how good it felt to be that previous version of you. That’s how you’ll be aiming to feel in your regular life from now on.

If you’re still staring at a blank piece of paper, you’ve not put enough effort into your introspection. Everybody has done something in their life that they’re proud of. Now that you’ve done that, you can see that you’re not so bad after all.

The next step is to work towards a constant state of self-improvement.

You might say to me:

“But if I’m always trying to improve myself, doesn’t that mean that I don’t like who I am at the moment?”

Not at all. You can like yourself but still realise that you can improve and evolve as a man in every area of your life. All you do is transform your dislike to discontent. Instead of hating yourself for being weak, you have discontent for your weakness and resolve to join a gym tomorrow and start working out. One is negative and will harm your self-image and the other is positive and will bolster it.

Work Systematically

You should examine your life, look at your weaknesses and make plans to work on and strengthen them. You should work out what your focus is and set goals to achieve it. Every time you achieve a goal, give yourself a hearty slap on the back, smile and tell yourself:

“Well done!”

As you achieve more and more, you have higher self-esteem and your self-image changes. You no longer see yourself as weak and incompetent and begin to see yourself as strong and capable. When someone makes a disparaging remark about you, instead of being mortally wounded, it simply bounces off your self-image as if it were bullet-proof.

If you go too far, your positive self-image can turn into arrogance. You will know when this happens because instead of ignoring the naysayers, you actually start hurting them. As the saying goes, “With great power comes great responsibility”, so keep an eye out for this and try not to go too far.

However, this is normal and you can correct it. Let me give you an example. When you pilot a plane, you never fly in a straight line from your origin to your destination. You aim where you want to go but after you’ve travelled a certain distance, you realise that you’re off course and you have to change direction to correct it. You eventually arrive at your destination but if you were to look at a plot of your path, it wouldn’t be a straight line, but a squiggle.

This is what will happen while you’re building your self-image. You’ll go too far and break into arrogance. Then you’ll compensate and veer too into meekness and repeat until eventually you gain stability. This is when you become rock solid. That’s the ultimate goal, that unshakeable belief in your own self worth.

But that’s not all. You need to have opinions and you need to have values.

Own Your Values and Opinions

If someone asks you what you think of something and then laughs at your opinion, it shouldn’t matter one bit. This is because you know what your standpoint is and the only way someone is going to convince you otherwise is by systematically refuting it. They need to prove to you without a shadow of a doubt that you’re wrong. If you listen to their argument and decide that it cannot be ignored, be gracious, admit that you were wrong and adopt the new viewpoint.

The way that you get to this stage in your development is by spending an extended period of time thinking deeply about what aspects of life are important to you and make a strong judgements on your values and opinions based upon fact and reasoning. Don’t waste your time explaining your reasons for having a particular value or opinion, but if someone asks you to, you should be able to give a strong and considered argument for it.

Of course if someone tells you that you’re stupid for liking a certain type of music or art, you can just ignore them, because preferences are subjective. If you like vanilla ice-cream and someone tells you “You’re so boring”, you can just ignore them or tell them to “Fuck off”. You know what you like and other people’s opinions are irrelevant. Which brings me on to the last point:

Always Trust Your Own Judgement First

If you’ve been introspective and thought about your life and your values and you have a positive self image, you can have confidence in your decisions. When people are in need of guidance, you can be the one to decide what to do.

When you have this decisiveness, you become a leader. You’re happy to accept responsibility because you know you can handle it. If you don’t have a positive self-image, your journey to masculinity and self-realisation is going to impossible, so it’s important to start now.

Filed Under: Inner Game, Masculinity, Self-Development

The Text Transition.

5th November 2014 By Mort Leave a Comment

If you’re practising the standard Daygame model, your journey will consist of the initial interaction with the girl and two dates (day two and day three). The ideal scenario ends with sexual consummation at the end of the second date.

Sandwiched in-between these three physical interactions is a non-physical phase where you communicate via text message. The initial interaction is your street game, the two dates are your seduction game and the filling is your text-game.

There are two main reasons for you to text the girl once you’ve acquired her number:

  1. To keep yourself and your previous interaction at the front of her mind.
  2. To seed and request the next date.

What you should not be doing in the text game phase is trying to get more rapport with the girl. This is a mistake that beginners often make to try and patch up inefficiently executed street game.

Don’t Overdo It

If you’re having issues with girls not agreeing to dates when you’re texting them, it’s because of a lack of solid rapport in the conversational (comfort) stage of your initial interaction on the street. Trying to fix this in text game is like trying to build a house on sand without first digging deep foundations.

In addition, having long back-and-forth text conversations with a girl you’ve not even kissed yet, let alone fucked is just going to push you into the friend zone. Why would you want to waste valuable time texting a girl all night when she hasn’t given you any tangible value yet?

Sometimes you have to play a long game (in time and distance) with a girl because before you can meet up with her, she leaves your city or country for a length of time. This post isn’t about that. We’re talking about girls who are available to meet you. If you’re doing long game, you’ll still need to keep in touch with the girl for the first reason I mentioned above, but there is more to it than simple text game.

Do the Bare Minimum

A lot of more experienced PUAs will tell you that “text game is easy”, and in a sense they are correct. What they’re guilty of though, is over-simplification.

I’ll explain.

It’s easy to do too much texting. Despite calling it ‘text game’, you’re not trying to game the girl during the texting phase. You’re just trying to make sure you don’t fuck up. Although it can be really hard, (after all it is a transitional part of your journey with this girl), try to do the minimum.

Even if you don’t have a busy life, it must appear that you have. Of course the best way to do this is to actually have a busy life. Be meeting friends, participating in activities, spending time with other quality women and working on improving your knowledge and station in life.

Then when a girl texts you, you’ve not been sitting over your phone waiting for the message. You missed the message because your phone was in your bag while you were at your martial arts class. Your day is full of stuff to do, so you literally don’t have time to text a girl for more than a couple of minutes per day. You’re the one with an full life and options and she is the one wondering whether the cool guy who stopped her on the street is going to get in touch.

After the initial interaction, I’ll text the girl a few hours later with a feeler text to gauge her interest levels and if she replies, I won’t send another text until the next day. I’ll then have two or three back-and-forth exchanges on different days with her before sending a date request.

I’m not going to go into detail regarding the content of the messages themselves here. My aim is to convey to you that you don’t want to be investing too much at this stage. Once you’ve banged her and decided you want to keep her around, sure, have an hour long chat with her, but not until then.

What to Text Her

The following isn’t a hard and fast rule as each girl is different, so you should adapt. During your first text game phase, you should send (and receive) no more than a couple of texts per day and you don’t even have to text every day. Sometimes it’s good to leave a day without communication between exchanges. When sending texts to the girl, you shouldn’t be asking questions, you should be making observations.

Three types of messages you can send are:

  1. A message that gives her an insight into your life.
  2. A call-back message.
  3. A funny picture message.

In the insight message, you should be telling her something interesting or fun that happened to you that day. If nothing fun or interesting happens to you, either make it up or even better, change your life so that it is fun and interesting.

The call-back message is something that reminds her of an experience you shared with her during your previous interaction.

The funny picture message is usually a picture you took of some amusing event that happened during your day. You can save these up and send them weeks or months after they actually happened.

When she replies to your message, you should either not reply until the next day or try and have some fun with what she says. Try to skew what she said to make it appear like she was trying to come on to you. Tease her for spelling mistakes. Just be fun and keep it light.

The rule is not to reply immediately. Leave it a while before replying. Also, on occasion, break that rule and reply straight away.

Be unpredictable.

Date Request

When the time comes to send a date request, be decisive and don’t ask her for her opinion or what she wants. Hopefully you won’t have much time free because you are a busy guy, but if not, pretend that you don’t have much time.

Give her a couple of days when you can meet her and ask her which one she prefers. She’ll usually pick one, but if she can’t make either, don’t immediately try to make other plans. Just keep pinging her texts and try again in a couple of days.

If you can’t come to an agreement within a couple of weeks, it probably isn’t going to happen.

After the first date you should do exactly the same thing. You’ve got more material for call-back messages and you can be a little more flirty with her, as you should have kissed her, or at least tried to kiss her. You’ve displayed intent physically so you can afford to continue that subtly through text.

Again, the key is minimalism. Avoid over-investment. Until you’ve fucked her this is still a game of cat and mouse.

And you’re the cat.

Rules of Thumb

If you eventually get into a relationship with the girl, you can have longer text exchanges with her and you can call her, IM (instant-messenger) her (WhatsApp, etc) and Skype her, but not before.

Either way, don’t overdo it; always try to be the one who ends the interaction first and try to balance your pulls (compliments, praise, etc) with pushes (teases, criticism, etc).

Don’t call a girl straight after you get her number. You could probably do this ten or fifteen years ago, but nowadays girls will find that uncomfortable. She’s only going to be happy to take a call from someone she knows well, i.e; her parents, close friends and lovers (you, after you’ve fucked her).

Filed Under: Inner Game, Outer Game

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