Archives for May 2015

How To Start And Sustain A Conversation With A Girl

28th May 2015 By Mort Leave a Comment

This article is a follow-up to ‘Never Run Out Of Things To Say‘, which I wrote a few weeks ago. Click the link to read it, however the long and short of it was that if you have travelled a lot and you meet a girl from a place that you’ve been to, you’ll have plenty to talk about.

The problem that most blue-pill guys have is that they don’t know how to have an interesting conversation with a girl. They might summon the balls to go and talk a girl, but after a minute of pleasant chit-chat, she will make an excuse and wander off, never to be seen again. To be able to have a stimulating conversation is one of the key skills a guy should learn to keep a girl interested.

Maybe you’re a really social guy and conversation comes naturally to you. Bully for you, but you’re in a minority. It’s more likely that you stumble through conversations with the girls that you approach. You often eject from interactions because you can’t think of anything to say. If this happens to you quite a lot, then this article will solve your problems.

Questions, Questions, Questions

The issue is that you’re asking too many questions. This is okay in moderation, but if your conversation consists entirely of questions, the girl is going to get tired of being interviewed by you and leave. If all you do is ask her questions, you’ve got two dilemmas:

Firstly, you appear to have nothing to say. When you first meet a girl, you can’t expect her to carry the conversation by doing all of the talking. If you’re just asking her questions, you’re trying to force her to make more of an effort than you. Until you’ve convinced her that she wants to get to know you, she isn’t going to want to put any effort into the interaction. She just wants to get rid of you so she can continue with her shopping. So she’ll give you a number, be it real or fake to get rid of you. Either that, or she’ll just make some excuse and walk away.

Secondly, you appear needy. If all you’re doing is asking questions, you’re sucking value from her. You’re an energy-sucking vampire. Nobody wants to spend time with an energy-sucking vampire. They want to spent time with someone who gives them energy and makes them feel good. A girl will gravitate to you if you’re not needy and you’re giving her value.

So, how do you do it properly? Well, I hinted at the solution in ‘Never Run Out Of Things To Say’. You have to do the talking. At least at the beginning while she’s still unsure of whether she really wants to be spending her time talking to you or not.

You Do The Talking

After you’ve been through the assumption stacking phase of the Daygame Blueprint, you will have a topic of conversation. Let’s say you told the girl that she looks like she’s from somewhere in the Mediterranean because she’s got dark hair, she has tanned skin and she’s wearing a pair of those massive Italian sunglasses that make her look like she’s hiding a pair of black eyes.

She will probably laugh and say that yes, she’s from Greece. Boom! That’s your topic of conversation.

This is the magic trick:

You make a statement about what she said. Either that, or you make a statement and then you ask a question.

So the conversation used to be something like this:

Her: “I’m from Greece.”

You: “What’s Greece like?”

Her: “It’s okay.”

You: “Um, bye!”

After implementing the magic trick, the conversation becomes something like this:

Her: “I’m from Greece.”

You: “Ah Greece. I’ve never been there before but I heard that the weather is super-nice and sunny, the men are really fat and ugly and the women are very sexy and feminine.”

Her: “Yes, I love the weather in my country. England is so grey and rainy all the time.”

You: “It’s not so bad. We do have a really short summer here. All the English guys try to make the most of it by taking off their shirts and wandering around topless. The problem is we’re so white that a day in the sun turns us red like beetroots and we spend the rest of the summer recovering from sunburn.”

Her: “Haha! That’s funny.”

You: “I guess you’ll be staying indoors during the summer. Seeing so many topless guys will make you horny all the time. Do you prefer Greek guys or English guys?”

Her: “I think English guys are more charming and sweet.”

You: “Maybe some of them, but behind our sweet exterior is a passionate interior.”

Listen And Make Statements

You can see how the conversation continues from here. You’re taking what she said and running with it. In addition, you’re being a bit cheeky and turning the conversation in a sexual direction. You’re pushing the frame to be fun and flirty, not boring and formal. This is what makes the girl want to go on a date with you after you take her number.

If you find yourself interviewing her, stop right now!

Use the conversational thread she gives you. Search your memory for something related to what she said and tell her about it. If you can’t think of anything, make something up. In the example above, I’d never been to Greece, so I made up three things about her country and told her them. They that could be right or wrong, who cares? She’ll make a comment about what you said and that will give you another thread to make a statement about.

As long as you’re listening, you’ll never run out of things to say.

Once you’ve got the statement / statement-question conversational skill practiced and internalised, you can start to throw in attraction. This is when your interactions will skyrocket. Attraction is the spice in a conversational stew. But I’ll leave that article for another day.

Go out and practice!

Positive Self-Feedback

15th May 2015 By Mort 2 Comments

When you get more experienced as a womaniser, other guys start to notice and you begin to receive requests for instruction.

The first few times this happened, I was happy to invite whomever asked to come out and sarge with me. This has become a bit more tricky recently, as the amount of free time that I have has become surpassed by the number of requests that I have, so I started charging. I guess that makes me a dating coach, although it was never the intention. I still have a full-time job and a business that I’m working on in my spare time, in addition to teaching guys how to pick up girls. I write this blog as well.

I sometimes wish I had 36 hours in a day instead of 24.

Anyway, I was thinking about the different guys that I’ve taught. I was comparing in my mind the ones who have begun to get success with the ones who have not. When it came down to it, there was really only one thing that divided them.

Their mental feedback.

One set of guys often said stuff like this to me:

“I can’t see any girls that I like”,

“I can’t approach girls in a shop / in a cafe / at a bus-stop / wherever”,

“I talked to her but I couldn’t think of anything to say”,

“I’m just not good-looking enough to talk to her”.

The other set of guys said stuff like this:

“I did a Yad stop on her but I think I got too close so she freaked out a bit”,

“Every time I approach a girl, I find it easier to think of assumptions to make about her”,

“I’ll get it right next time”,

“I’ll be okay, I just need to put a bit more practice in”.

Guess which group have given up on Daygame altogether and just sit about in their underpants on a Saturday, playing Xbox? Guess which group is meeting and number-closing hot girls on a Saturday, then going on dates with them and having sex with them? You guessed right. The first group of guys is getting nowhere and the second group of guys is getting everything they ever wanted in terms of success with women.

The guys who are getting laid give themselves positive feedback and have a problem solving attitude.

The guys who are getting nowhere are always looking at the downside and expect other people to solve their problems.

Take Responsibility For Yourself

One of the factors that define a man is his willingness to take total responsibility for everything that happens in his life:

Car broken down? My fault for failing to get it serviced.
Got sacked for being late too often? My fault for not waking up early enough.
Overweight? My fault for eating too much crap.
Not been laid in five years? My fault for not talking to any girls.
Want to get rich? My responsibility to start a business.
Want a better job? My responsibility to learn the requisite skills.

Once you take responsibility for the areas of your life that you want to improve, you feel empowered. Maybe you’re a little scared at first because you’re used to having your hand held by your mother or any of the surrogate mothers that you’ve picked up in your life. Taking responsibility means that if you want to achieve something, you have to figure out how to do it and then put in the work.

Winning Mindset and Positive Feedback

When you start doing the work, if you keep giving yourself reasons why you can’t achieve it, you will just give up. If you give yourself a goal to reach and your mind starts giving you crap, just say to yourself, “Fuck that, I know I can do it. I believe in myself.” Clear your mind and imagine yourself achieving your goal. Say to yourself, “I can do it. It might be hard but I can do it anyway.” Then stand up and get to work.

This is the way winners think.

It may take a while, because ever since we’ve been alive we’ve had people telling us why we can’t do something or that we’re in some way not good enough to achieve something. Don’t believe all that crap. Watch your mind and every time you find yourself thinking of a reason why you can’t do something, blast it away and give yourself a reason why you can do it.

When you eventually reach whatever goal you’ve been striving towards, give yourself a pat on the back. Literally. Reach round and pat yourself on the back. Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes, smile and say, “Good job Your Name. You’re fucking awesome.” I’ve been doing this stuff for so long now that it’s just normal for me. This is the way I live.

How To Solve Problems And Achieve Your Goals

Part of the winning mindset is to have a problem-solving attitude. Once you’ve taken responsibility for solving a problem or reaching a goal in your life, you need to work out how to do it. Anybody with any sense uses the scientific method:

Ask a Question.
Do Background Research.
Construct a Hypothesis.
Test Your Hypothesis by Doing an Experiment.
Analyse Your Data and Draw a Conclusion.

So, let’s say you’ve got a problem; you get a girl’s number but she doesn’t reply to your feeler text.

Question: “Why doesn’t the girl reply to my text even though she gave me her number?”

Research: You go on the internet, buy a pickup book or read a blog like this one. You find out that most flakey numbers are caused by too much attraction (trying too hard) or too much comfort and rapport (friend zone).

Hypothesis: You analyse your current game against a model of what “good game” is. You see that you’re doing no teasing, you’re complimenting the girl too much and you’re being very friendly with all the girls you talk to. You decide to modify your game over the next two or three weeks and compare the results. You will listen carefully to what each girl is saying when she’s talking. You decide if anything she’s said is something that you would tease your friend about if he said it. Then you call her out on whatever it is.

Experiment: You go out on the street for a day and talk to twenty girls. One girl says how she loves One Direction. You crack up and tell her “I don’t think I’ll be coming round your house for a drink if you’re going to playing that rubbish.” Another girl is wearing Wellington boots in the middle of summer. You look up at the clear sky and the sun beating down, then you point upwards and say “Expecting rain?”, then you look down at her Wellies and back up to her eyes. At the end of the day, you’ve managed to get four numbers. You text them and get two replies to your feeler texts.

Analysis: You look at your results and see that making one small change to your game has increased the solidity of your results.

You can solve every problem that you have using the scientific method. You can achieve any goal by using these steps.

So to emphasise my point again: If you want to be successful, not just with women, but with life in general, you must give yourself positive feedback and you must have a problem solving attitude. Everything else comes from that.

Never Run Out Of Things To Say

3rd May 2015 By Mort Leave a Comment

When you’re beginning the process of learning Daygame, it really helps that there is a set structure. I hear intermediate and experienced Daygamers telling novices to forget structure and just freestyle. I just think they’re forgetting how they got where they are. It’s like sitting a learner driver behind the wheel and saying, “Okay, just freestyle. You’ll learn how to drive eventually.”

Sure, you’ll learn. This is how Yad, Mystery, and all the pioneers started. They knew nothing and just experimented until they came up with something that worked. But you don’t have to. I’ve there’s a structure, learn it and then modify it to your needs and your personality. Then you’ll cut down the time required to learn how to meet and seduce girls to something which is manageable. Instead of taking six years, you can start seeing results in six months to a year.

The structure of the standard Daygame set is: Approach, Opener, Assumption stack, Rapport / Attraction, Number close / Instadate.

After a few months of going out regularly to meet girls, you can take a split second to ask yourself where you are in the structure and what you need to do to get yourself to the next stage. Along the way, you’ll learn the different gambits, techniques and mindsets required to optimise each stage and every time you go out, you will fine-tune your skills.

Most of the stages have specific mechanisms that you can use to increase your chances of getting a positive response from the girl. You mix these mechanisms with spontaneity and inspiration to create an interesting and fun storyline to your interaction. Daygame requires you to use the logical and creative sides of your brain simultaneously.

How To Fix Your Rapport Failings

One of the things that many guys struggle with initially is what to talk to the girl about during the rapport stage. The answer is to make sure that you’re listening to what she is saying. That’s why we make assumptions about her after the opener. We’re looking for an insight into her interests and passions so we can weave a story about them.

Once you spoken to enough girls, you’ll find that there becomes a pattern. You’ll think, “Ah, this is an X girl” or “This is a Y girl” and you can bring up topics from previous sets to get rapport. Every girl has her own unique slant on life and you use your experience to tell stories about when you were in a similar situation and what happened.

But what happens when you don’t have any experience with the threads that she brings up? For example, what if you met a tanned dark haired girl and you tell her that you admire her Mediterranean looks? She smiles shyly and tells you she’s from Barcelona. What do you say next?

Personally, I’ve been to Barcelona. I can tell her how I went to the Sagrada Familia cathedral and spent the whole day there. How I went up the top of one of the towers and saw the extent of the city. How I got vertigo crossing a small bridge from one tower to another. I can tell her how much I like Chorizo Sausage or how I prefer Chicken Paella to Seafood Paella. She’s going to have an opinion on what I said: “Oh the Sagrada Familia is such a waste of money, it’s just a tourist trap”, “Gaudi is overrated”, “What? You don’t like seafood?”, etc, etc.

If you know something about what she’s talking about, rapport becomes much easier. After speaking to a few hundred girls, you’ll be able to spot trends. You’ll find yourself approaching one type of girl more than another. This is fine. Everyone has their own taste in women. Use this to your advantage.

Do Your Homework

If you find that you like Italian women, but you’ve never been to Italy, get yourself on a plane and go visit Rome, Milan, Venice and Naples. Rapport will be so much easier when you actually have an opinion based on experience. You can take the piss out of her native customs, you can tell her your favourite and least favourite things about her country.

If you can’t visit your favourite girls’ countries, you’ll eventually get stories and assumptions that you can give by spending time with these girls and asking questions about their homelands. You can then use these stories with other girls. For example, I really like native Chinese girls, but I’ve never been anywhere near China. If I meet one and she tells me that’s where she’s from, I often give her a fictional story about a friend of mine who visited and told me about his experiences.

I’ll tell her, “I have a friend who went to China a couple of years ago. He went to Beijing, Shanghai and Hong Kong, but he liked Hong Kong best because it’s still a little bit English. They still have double-decker busses and stuff.”

The information about the double-decker buses is something I found out from a girl I met on the street who was from Hong Kong. I don’t know how many times I’ve told a variation of that story. In fact it’s been getting a little stale recently. To end that problem, I’ve booked myself a holiday to China in August. That will give me a lot more to talk about and relate to with the girls I meet.

You don’t have to have experience at all. You can just make assumptions about her origin. This is some that Jon Matrix does a lot. If she tells you she’s from Australia, you can say something like:

“I’ve never been to Australia before, but I imagine that the weather is always sunny. You spend all of your time drinking beer and barbecuing on the beaches. Girls wear bikinis 24/7 and everyone travels to work by surfboard.”

This is just taking a bunch of stereotypes and mashing them together. She’ll either get indignant or laugh out loud. Either way you’ve received a reaction from her which will give you more to talk about.

As an exercise, after a day on the street talking to girls, ask yourself what information you found out about where they’re from and write it down. Watch videos about these places and the people that live there. Try and find out amusing facts or embarrassing stories that you can relay to girls in the future. Or better still, go and visit these places.

One thing that a lot of guys forget is that knowledge is one of the attraction devices (the others being push/pull, teasing, challenging, domination, sexual vibe, etc) that you weave into your interactions. If you have strong general knowledge, the girls is going to be impressed and attracted to you. If you have specific knowledge about her home town or country, she’ll be even more attracted.